Old Man Shit Himself On Bus

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 30 September 2018

image for Old Man Shit Himself On Bus
The filthy culprit: he should've gone at home

There were squished-up faces aplenty this morning on a bus full of passengers going to work in Hull, after an old man aboard was caught short, and shit himself.

The man, who declined to give his name, was sat on the 'circular' number 2 service that operates between Hull Interchange and Boothferry Estate, to the west of the city.

As the vehicle passed by Hull Royal Infirmary, the man tilted his arse to one side to let a fart out, but he hadn't prepared himself for what happened next.

A resounding pump heralded the arrival of something ghastly; there was a squelching sound, and a pervasive smell which soon filled the bus. Several passengers disembarked, and those sat in close proximity to the man moved away - not that this made much difference.

The man eventually got off at the Interchange, leaving a rather unsightly wet patch on the seat, which almost perfectly matched the one on his sodden, shit-stained trousers.

For more stories like this:

Page 4 - Woman Trod In Dogshit

Page 7: Bus Driver Had A Wank In Cab

Page 9: Local Man Caught Bumming Sheep

Page 11: Another Local Man Caught Bumming His Dad

Page 21: Firemen Frolicked In Fire Engine

Page 84: For Fuck's Sake, Haven't You Had Enough?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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