Man Got Cramp Whilst Having A Dump

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 23 September 2020

image for Man Got Cramp Whilst Having A Dump
A man suffering from cramp

A man who frequently suffers from agonizing muscle cramps in his legs has revealed how he had to endure one of the worst cramp attacks he can remember, at the weekend, during a middle-of-the-night visit to the toilet for a shit.

The painful incident happened when long-time cramp sufferer Moys Kenwood woke during the early hours of Saturday morning, busting for a crap, and, through bleary eyes, gingerly made his way downstairs to the bathroom.

Once on the throne, he commenced his business, but, no sooner had he edged the offending article closer to its point of escape, than he was seized by cramp in his left leg. Instinctively, he jumped from the seat, and hopped around the bathroom in agony.

The searing pain refused to subside, and, as his 'bum cigar' began to reveal itself, he became aware that a choice had to be made:

1) he was going to have to sit down and put up with the excruciating pain, or

2) there was going to be shit on the floor

Kenwood then realized what enormous pressures world leaders must be under when they have to make a choice between two options that are both extremely undesirable, and thought of Neville Chamberlain at Munich.

But, by then, it was too late.

Cramp affects millions of people worldwide, but not, usually, at a crucial time like this.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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