Miami Beach, Botswana,
Lady Gaga had a sold out concert last night, and this reporter had a blast to see history in the making … but it’s not why you think!
As Gaga was singing “Po-po-po-po-pokerface …” she sharted. (A combo between a fart and a shit, for those of you who have never done it … liars! I can smell you from here!)
She sharted and splashed a brown halo onto her ass (dressed in a costume of Lycra and silk and the absorbent cloth used in diapers), but did she stop singing? Hell no! That’s not the Gaga way.
She changed her dance style to something with more splayed legs and squats, really getting that shit outa there and making it work – then she changed the lyrics to:
“I just shit myself
I shi-shi-shi-shi-shit myself …”
Then mixed it up with, “Poo-poo-poo-poo-pookerface …”
A class act all the way. A runaway train of stardom that cannot be stopped!
The audience went wild and copied their heroine by shitting and farting until the entire stadium stank to high heaven. Luckily, the roof of the stadium was open, and tons of flies swarmed inside.
One fan said, “I love Gaga so much, I will do anything she does or tells me to do. I don’t want to think for myself! I want to shit and shart and be a little bit ‘o Gaga all my own!”
Another fan said, “I will never wash my shitty ass ever again! I will spread my poo onto my face so that I will have a Poo-poo-poo-pookerface too!”
Dear God, rock and roll has a lot to answer for!
Rock On!
