Another glimpse of the future: Group defecation by 2100!

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 11 June 2021

image for Another glimpse of the future: Group defecation by 2100!
Group of people poop together for research. This will be a common practice in the future!

Louie Martino is an American futurist that made his name during the 1980s when he envisioned the Internet and many of its practical applications.

In his latest book, "Visions of 2100", Martino looks at social customs and norms he expects to see in the coming years. One of the more interesting and controversial are his ideas about future pooping customs. Martino says the way we think about defecation is ripe for change.

"It's just a matter of common sense taking precedence over old-world thinking. Any MD or health practitioner will tell you proper defecation is essential to good health. Therefore it is something very positive."

Martino thinks that we'll soon be living in a world that holds pooping in much higher esteem, recognizing it as a necessary aspect of good living. "Traditionally we hold gatherings to eat and drink in celebration of various life events. A birth, christening a wedding or an anniversary all customarily include a big dinner and lots of drinking."

Martino tells us the shift in our thinking - like all change, is a process:

"In ancient settlements you'll always find a place reserved for human waste hidden away on the outskirts of the settlement. As we establish the importance of good defecation, the taboo will gradually recede and defecators will no longer hide away to do their business."

Eventually, Martino says we'll get to a point where group defecation will be an established activity. People will reserve premier hands-free toilets, which will be made available in social configurations, allowing a group of friends to poop, talk and laugh together, all while performing a vital bodily function necessary for good health!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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