Written by Matt Linehan

Thursday, 4 January 2007

image for Scat Fetish Attacks on the Increase
Repulsive attacks continue

In London, further incidents of Happy Scatting have been reported to the police today by both victims and witnesses of this disturbing new craze.

Happy Scatting is a derivative of Happy Slapping where a victim is chosen randomly then attacked while an accomplice videos the incident using a mobile phone.

In a sick twist, the attacker now throws a large clod of his or her own poop at the victim using a points system and allocating a score. The unfortunate victim in the picture represents 300 points or a "bullseye".

Police are investigating over 20 reported cases and are warning the public to be aware of their surroundings. DCI Fraser Hompton of the Metropolitan Police was particularly concerned

"Not only is this a health hazard but but it could cause illness too. I would advise everyone not to travel around at night and to wear a hood and scarf. If anyone approaches you with a big turd in their hand call the police and be prepared to duck"

Investigations continue.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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