Funny story: Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump

Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump

White House sources say that President Donald Trump is to hold conference talks with new Manchester United signing, fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy, and 'brick shithouse', Harry Maguire. The pair will talk on a variety of issues, including f...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider

Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, has announced he will be flying to Geneva next week, to travel to Cern where scientists continue to work on the Hadron Collider, a big machine with which they are attempting to recreate the condi...

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Funny story: Mexico Demands Wall Be Built In Aftermath Of El Paso Shootings

Mexico Demands Wall Be Built In Aftermath Of El Paso Shootings

Sources close to the government in Mexico are saying that Mexican residents living close to the US border at El Paso are demanding that the wall US president Donald Trump has talked about building for so long, be built as soon as is humanly possible.

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Funny story: Trump Condemns Flaunting White Supremacy

Trump Condemns Flaunting White Supremacy

In a national address following the latest racially motivated mass shooting by a man who claimed to be protecting his country from an ethnic invasion by Hispanics, United States President Donald Trump strongly condemned violently flaunting white supr...

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Funny story: Trump Says No Need For Gun Restrictions

Trump Says No Need For Gun Restrictions

Reacting to the latest mass shooting in El Paso yesterday, President Donald Trump said the much-called for revision on gun control in the US is not a necessity, as there will soon be nobody left to shoot. Trump was tweeting before bedtime last nig...

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Funny story: Climate Scientists Relieved that Trump Nuclear Policy May End Life on Earth before Global Warming

Climate Scientists Relieved that Trump Nuclear Policy May End Life on Earth before Global Warming

While most climate scientists agree that it wasn't exactly good news when United States president  Donald Trump formally withdrew from the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty with Russia, thereby rapidly accelerating the risk of a deadly nuclear...

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Funny story: Trump: All Caucasians To Be Dyed Purple To End White Supremacy

Trump: All Caucasians To Be Dyed Purple To End White Supremacy

BILLINGSGATE POST: This morning, in a display of chutzpah that defied transcendental reality, President Trump descended out of a cloud like an existential chimera. Something was different about him. On the lawn outside the White House, just before...

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Funny story: Trump nominated for Nobel Peace Prize, for saving the lives of ten million Afghans

Trump nominated for Nobel Peace Prize, for saving the lives of ten million Afghans

Ten million could be the population count of most countries, and, as predicted, ten million could be wiped out in a week, or ten days at the most, including human collateral damage. This is a record wipe-out never before seen in the annals of US mili...

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Funny story: Moscow Mitch Doesn't like Being Called Moscow Mitch!

Moscow Mitch Doesn't like Being Called Moscow Mitch!

U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell this week complained about being labled "Moscow Mitch", based on his not allowing legislation to strengthen preventive measures against Russian interference in U.S. elections. Leningrad Lindsey Graham came to Moscow Mi...

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Funny story: FOX News drifting Left has Donald visiting his psychiatrist

FOX News drifting Left has Donald visiting his psychiatrist

A rift between the President and his favorite network, FOX News, is developing, according to insider sources. James Murdoch, the younger brother of CEO Lachlan Murdoch, has said he is “embarrassed” by Fox News. Mr. Trump immediately rushed off...

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Funny story: National Rifle Association Office Closed Today

National Rifle Association Office Closed Today

In a surprise development, members of the public who visited the offices of the National Rifle Association (NRA) in Fairfax County, Virginia this morning, have described the building as closed, "boarded-up", windows smashed, car park empty, and "look...

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Funny story: Could Cthulhu Be Donald Trump's Real Name?

Could Cthulhu Be Donald Trump's Real Name?

DUNWICH Massachusetts - The Democrats of the US Congress began their efforts to Impeach Donald J. Trump on November 8, 2016. However, "investigations" to determine his motivations, his base of power, and his true origins began many, many months earli...

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Funny story: President Trump In Move To Ban Garlic Festivals, And Other Dangerous Events

President Trump In Move To Ban Garlic Festivals, And Other Dangerous Events

President Donald Trump has said that, in view of the tragedy that took place at the Gilroy Garlic Festival over the weekend, when three people - including two children - were shot and killed by a crazed gunman, the staging of such events in the futur...

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Funny story: Trump Orders Mueller Have His Gums Painted Purple For Lying

Trump Orders Mueller Have His Gums Painted Purple For Lying

BILLINGSGATE POST: Like a demented rat (genus Rattus) munching on cream cheese with rubber-tipped teeth, so that no one might hear him, Special Counsel Robert Mueller mealy-mouthed his way through two House committee hearings last week. Mueller,...

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Funny story: Trump Agrees to Ban Assault Weapons for Shooting Stars

Trump Agrees to Ban Assault Weapons for Shooting Stars

In the wake of yet another mass shooting, pressured to enact tougher gun regulations, United States President Donald Trump agreed to back legislation completely banning the purchase and sale of assault weapons to or from shooting stars. Explaining...

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Funny story: Trump Says Statistics Do Not Support Concerns Over Shopping Mall Mass Shootings

Trump Says Statistics Do Not Support Concerns Over Shopping Mall Mass Shootings

President Trump has said that Americans are "worrying unnecessarily" about guns, and says statistics prove they are not likely to die as a result of some nut shooting them down in a bloody killing spree in a shopping mall. The president's mind was...

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Funny story: Mueller Report - Investigators "Mostly Doing Blow"

Mueller Report - Investigators "Mostly Doing Blow"

WASHINGTON DC - Former FBI Director Robert Swan Mueller III had NO—F*CKING—CLUE as he sat before the House Judiciary Committee, trying to answer questions about a so-called "Mueller Report." After the incredibly sad performance of the Special Counsel...

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Funny story: As Trump Continues To Tweet, Rats In Baltimore Say The City Is Just Fine

As Trump Continues To Tweet, Rats In Baltimore Say The City Is Just Fine

While President Trump continued his tweet storm against rep Elijah Cummings and the city of Baltimore, a local organization called Really Attentive Tactics (RAT) did a survey, the results of which disclosed the majority of rats in Baltimore view the...

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Funny story: Manhattan Man Diagnosed with Existential Insomnia

Manhattan Man Diagnosed with Existential Insomnia

After months of lying awake at night unable to catch more than the occasional brief, restless wink, concerned that he might have sleep apnea or some sort of mild epileptic disorder, Matthew Cooper visited his doctor, only to learn that he was sufferi...

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Funny story: Fire And Fury Was A Spell-Check Typo, Says Trump

Fire And Fury Was A Spell-Check Typo, Says Trump

It would appear that everyone misunderstood President Trump's threats to North Korea, when he said, "They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before." Reacting to provocative nuclear missile t...

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