NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Trump's two oldest sons Eric "Goofy" Trump and Don "Dopey" Trump Jr. are worried that their father could end up simply walking off into the Atlantic Ocean at Mar-a-Lago.
According to Don Jr's, semi-loose girlfriend, Kimberly "Deep Throat" Guilfoyle, they tried to set up an intervention with the three of them, along with Tiffany Trump, Barron Trump, and Barron's black girlfriend LeTeesha Van Buren.
But when "Moby Dick," (Trump) got wind of it, he began screaming and yelling, and hollering like he had just had his pecker (penis) bit by an enraged wolverine.
He made it abundantly clear that he was so upset that the was thinking about cutting every last one of them out of his will and leaving all his money, stocks, buildings, and 18 sets of golf clubs to ex-bed partner, Stormy Daniels.
A Mar-a-Lago security guard divulged that Stormy still texts old DJT 2 or 3 times a day and she talks dirty to him once a week on his cell phone for up to 45 minutes. The calls have been so salacious that some of the interns at Mar-a-Lago have started calling Trump 'The Donald Pavarotti' after the Italian operatic tenor, because he "sings like a bird".
SIDENOTE: Trump brags that he's worth $9.7 billion, but info guru Andy Cohen has declared that Trump is only worth $2.8 million - which might explain why Stormy recently referred to him as a 'Tight Walletted Toad'.
