Senator Ted "Dracula" Cruz Says He Wants To Be Trump's 2024 Running Mate

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 11 February 2023

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"Ted needs to have his ugly ass mug deported back to Costa Rica." -MITCH McCONNELL

MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - Sen. Ted "Dracula" Cruz told GOPicky Magazine writer Tabitha Wishywater that he would like to be Donald Trump's 2024 presidential campaign running mate.

Cruz, who, along with Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott are two of the most hated individuals in the Lone Star state says that he knows that he and Donald can together make America the greatest country since Switzerland (?).

When Miss Wishywater asked him if he had talked to Trump he replied that he left him a text message a week ago, but he's still waiting for him to reply.

Meanwhile, when Miss Wishywater asked the orange demon (DJT) if he would consider having Cruz be his running mate, El Estupido (the Stupid One), as Trump is known in Latin America replied, "Fuck no, I would not have that monster-looking asshole be my fucking caddy, much less be on my ticket as vice president."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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