There were 491 spoof news stories published in November 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Roman Abramovich 'too broke' to afford spectacular $143million Francis Bacon triptych
New York - Big Apple auctioneers were tutting with disbelief tonight at a Brit tabloid's best guess naming Russian mobster Roman Abramovich as the new owner of the $143million Francis Bacon triptych entitled 'Three Studies of Lucian Fraud'. The 19...
Read full storySanta's Workshop to Be a Public Corporation; Elves Furious
Everybody's doin' it. Going public, that is. It's the rage these days. So Santa Claus figured: why not? Within the next two weeks, there'll be an IPO (initial public offering) of stock in Santa's workshop. Santa's elves are furious. They...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company
Lots of folks are ecstatic that Twitter is now a publicly traded company. But not the Twitter birdies! Word is that they were much happier when the company was a private one, filled with relaxed-looking workers in jeans and T shirts. Now, for...
Read full storyMoon Signs Up for Cosmetic Makeover
It happened when the moon read the following (in an article, NASA's GRAIL Mission helps Scientists Figure Out Moon's Rough and Stony Look, at the FrenchTribune.com): "Scientists have now understood the reasons behind the moon's rough and stony look.
Read full storyA List of 10 Really Weird Things
Zydeco Dupree is a stand up comedian and free-lance reporter with The iRumors News Agency. His sister Voodoo Dupree is a senior writer for Glamboyant Magazine who has interviewed such well known celebrities as Britney Spears, Michelle Obama, Simon…
Read full storyA Minnesota Man Invents A Helicopter That Runs On A Mixture Of Tap Water And Dandelion Weeds
DULUTH, Minnesota - Ezra P. Crackerbee, 73, has always liked to tinker around his garage in Duluth. One day last week as he was putting away some gardening tools he noticed that one of the hoes had some shreds of dandelion weed on the blade. A...
Read full storyA List of 10 Trivia Facts From Walt Disney's Blockbuster "Frozen"
HOLLYWOOD - The Disney animated musical Frozen is giving Hunger Games a run for its money. Frozen took in an amazing $90 million in just the first five days it was out. It has already become the #1 movie in Pocatello, Idaho; Apalachicola, Florida; Kalamazoo, Michigan; Lafayette, Louisiana; and Sheboyan, Wisconsin. Reports coming out of Europe are that Barcelona, Spain has had over $200,00...
Read full storyEx-Lesbian Anne Heche Confesses That Ellen DeGeneres Caused Her To Go Back To Being Straight
VENICE BEACH - Anne Heche has pretty much been out of the Hollywood spotlight since her breakup with Ellen DeGeneres and the svelte blonde says that, that's the way she likes it uh huh uh huh. Anne and Ellen had a flamingly tempestuous relationshi...
Read full storyMexican homeless lose battle against wealthier homeless Mexicans.
"The streets of Mexico are laced with the stench of corruption." One Homeless Mexican told reporters. "It's really hard being a real homeless Mexican. Because these guys are fakes! Busking for real money with their guitars, cleaning peoples ca...
Read full storyU.S. Customs Agents Confiscate 900,000 Counterfeit Gummy Bears From Tijuana, Mexico
SAN DIEGO - One of the largest counterfeit item busts in the history of the San Diego Department of Customs sector has just taken place. U.S. Customs agents seized 900,000 counterfeit gummy bears that were produced in Tijuana, Mexico, and were bou...
Read full storyMarie Osmond Explains Her Rack Reduction
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Marie Osmond was relaxing on the pristine beach down at Cabo San Lucas in a skimpy bikini bathing suit when some of the locals mistook her for Sofia Vergara. Marie, who is 54-years-old, was very flattered as she spoke to P...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres Shocked At Wife Portia De Rossi's Confession
BEVERLY HILLS - One of the most popular lesbianite couples in Tinsel Town could be heading down Divorce Drive. According to Voodoo Dupree with Glamboyant Magazine there appears to be some marital trouble brewing in the five year marriage between E...
Read full storyA Grandmother In Arkansas Is Arrested For Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Claire "Cookie" Starkdiffy, 79, told the local authorities that she had no idea that what she did was against the law. Mrs. Starkdiffy, who was divorced in 2010 by her husband Wardley Starkdiffy after 51 years of marriage,...
Read full storySpider-Man Furious His Broadway Show Is Closing
He no longer loves New York, after learning that his show, "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark," will be closing in January (it hasn't been packing 'em in at the box office). "What I can't figure out," a perplexed Spider-Man has told friends, "is that...
Read full storyDue To Carrie Underwood Showcasing Her Stunning Legs On The CMA Award Show She Has Just Been Signed To Do A L'eggs Pantyhose Commercial
NASHVILLE - The little gal from Oklahoma strutted her legs on the 47th Annual CMA Award Show and it has certainly paid off. Co-Host Brad Paisley said that he encouraged Carrie to show off her legs seeing as how they are astoundingly gorgeous. C...
Read full storyMonster Trucks, are 'not gay.'
LGBT officials interrupted during speech by, 'Monster trucks, are not gay.' "Apparently his name is Timmy Tucker. He's a Monster Truck driver. We weren't even on the subject of Monster Trucks!? We never even mention them..." 'We're not on the s...
Read full storyKirstie Alley and Wynonna Judd Want To Buy Pizza Hut
LOS ANGELES - Noted California attorney Ginger Allred has been hired by Kirstie Alley and Wynonna Judd. The two celebrities have expressed a desire to purchase the national pizza chain Pizza Hut. Ms. Allred has said that she is presently in the...
Read full storyThe World Boxing Association May Reduce Boxing Matches From 10 Rounds Down To 5
PANAMA CITY, Panama - The World Boxing Association is considering making a monumental change to its boxing matches. The word out of WBA headquarters in Panama City, Panama is that the WBA's Governing Committee is looking into the matter of reducin...
Read full storyCharles Manson, The Most Evil Person In The U.S. Is Getting Married
CORCORAN, California - Charles Manson, who masterminded the so called Helter Skelter killings of 1969, has been incarcerated at Corcoran State Prison for 44 years. An inside source (no pun intended) stated that in those 44 years, Charlie, as the d...
Read full storyNASA Is Recalling The Mars Land Rover Curiosity Because of Faulty Windshield Wipers
HOUSTON - NASA has just received a certified letter from The Rampart Vehicles Corporation, the company that built the Mars Land Rover Curiosity. According to NASA spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb, Rampart Vehicles is recalling the land rover Curiosit...
Read full storyMr. Met Traded to the Cubs For a Year's Supply of Steroids
Flushing, New York - Desperate to improve a team that has become the laughing stock of major league baseball, the New York Mets have traded their beloved mascot, Mr. Met, to the Chicago Cubs in exchange for a shipment of super steroids. The...
Read full storyWendy's Could Become Windy's
DUBLIN, Ohio - Wendy's is an international fast food chain that mainly sells hamburgers. It was founded in 1969, and currently has 6,650 restaurants world-wide. The executives of the hamburger giant have expressed a desire to rename the company. T...
Read full storyLady Steals Frozen Chickens
A compulsive shoplifter was admitted to hospital in Margate today suffering from hypothermia. Gladys McGurgle of Conker Road was accused of theft from Tesco on Saturday. Police said that in addition to several other items, Mrs McGurgle had taken...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Agrees To Pose Topless In a 2014 Calendar
BEVERLY HILLS - Jennifer Aniston has just announced that she has agreed to appear in a 2014 calendar in which she will be totally topless. The 44-year-old actress spoke with Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo at The Gunfight At The OK Corral St...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Looking Sexy In Her Daisy Duke Short Shorts
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jessica Simpson is so excited that she has finally managed to lose all of her baby weight that she's pulled out all of the stops and is dressing like an 18-year-old high school girl. She was recently spotted at a Tall Timbers Sup...
Read full storyNorth Korea's Kim Jong Un Warns China Against Flying Over North Korean Air Space
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Reports coming out of the capital of North Korea are that Kim Jong Un is angrier than a woodpecker with a rubber beak. He is very upset at China's new unilateral declaration of an air defense zone over Tokyo, Japan, and Se...
Read full storyShocker: Miley Cyrus To Have Sex Change?
After going from a little girl on Disney for years, Miley Cyrus seems to be determined to continue to shock people in any way that she can. "You gotta admit she has some tough competition out there", says manager. "I mean, if you don't have a grea...
Read full storyJohn Boehner Calls In Exorcist
Washington-- Because of the efforts of his wife and House colleagues who carried out an intervention, Speaker of The House, John Boehner, who was the victim of demonic possession, has had the demon expelled. The rite of exorcism was presided over by...
Read full storyBritney Spears Stuns Her Fans With Her Gay Comment
SAN FRANCISCO - Britney Spears performed before a sold out audience at The Veni, Vidi, Vici Coliseum. After her second and final encore she told the audience that she wanted to make a little comment. Ms. Spears cleared her throat as the thousa...
Read full storyMan's Facial Deformity After Inventing New Prune
A man has suffered severe facial deformities after inventing a new type of prune. 'GM foods are becoming more and more popular, but this is one example we should not dismiss.' Benit Row of the food safety commission. 'I've never seen anything...
Read full storyChicago Bans Dart Boards In All Drinking Establishments
CHICAGO - The Chicago City Council has just issued a city mandate that will prohibit all drinking establishments including bars, lounges, clubs, and cantinas within the city limits from having a dart board on the premises. The CCC took this measur...
Read full storyA Wyoming Woman Has A Volkswagen Beetle With 3 Million Miles On It
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - Rayleen Mayshaw, 61, purchased her green Volkswagen Beetle back in 1983, and 30 years later she is still driving it all over Cheyenne. Rayleen who works as a restaurant health inspector recently put the 3 millionth mile on her...
Read full story"Cage Match" Ad Campaign Hoping to Reinvigorate Consumer Perceptions of Archaic Advertising Characters
A few company's have teamed up to participate in a collaborative advertising campaign. An advertising "Cage Match" billed ADV ANNHILATION SHOWDOWN will take place this spring. Some of the "fighters" will include: THE KOOL AID MAN - Slight advantage in size, but a little slow, and of course, there's that "glass jaw." TONY THE TIGER - Predicted by several of the experts to be the winner,...
Read full storyAnn Coulter's "Take Back The N-Word" Stirs Controversy
WASHINGTON DC - Political commentator, conservative author, and part-time Skeletor stunt double, Ann Coulter has once again found herself the center of an internet controversy. Ms. Coulter's new program "ADD THE R", focused on re-repurposing the word...
Read full storyUtah Is Considering A Ban On Bikini Thong Panties
SALT LAKE CITY - After receiving numerous complaints from mall store owners and managers, the state of Utah will be looking into the prospect of banning bikini thong panties on females between the ages of 18 to 25. According to state Senator Buxto...
Read full storyDoctor Phil's son in, 'metal band.'
Doctor Phil's son Jordan has joined a metal band with which he ridicules his father. It is apparent. 'My band Philophile's first album is about Doctor Phil in general,' says the "Doctor's" son, Jordan. 'Yea I tried growing my hair out long but th...
Read full storyEurope, Mexico, Middle Eastern Countries Joke About Those Americans!
In the past many American comics have earned a good living talking about the weird acts and ways of people from other countries around the world. Do Scots wear anything under their kilts. 50 Mexicans in the back of a truck. 900 Indians on a train!...
Read full storyAmerica's Top Drug Dog Retires
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sergeant Fido, who is considered to be the very best drug-sniffing dog in the history of the U.S. Customs K-9 Corps has just retired after spending 10 years in El Paso, Texas. Fido, was given a lavish retirement party by his han...
Read full storySplit Beaver Full Moon plus imminent solar flip to wreak havoc on LA porn industry astrologers warn
Los Angeles, California - Sunday's 25'25" degrees Taurus fool moon first earned its Split Beaver moniker during the 1998 Clinton impeachment trial when astrologers upgraded the November aspect from its plain Beaver Full Moon status on account of moon...
Read full storyRussian President Vladimir Putin To Meet With North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un
MOSCOW - Russia's national news agency Vodkavich is reporting that President Vladimir Putin has requested to have a meeting with Kim Jong Un of North Korea. Vodkavich states that Putin is upset at the fact that Kim Jong Un continues to carry on ab...
Read full storyA Missouri Chicken Farmer Has Trained His Chickens To Do An Amazing Feat
HANNIBAL, Missouri - Elmo Tuggletint, 53, has been raising egg-laying hens for over 30 years and in that time he has seen some very interesting things. He recalls back in October of 1994, seeing one of his prized chickens, Linda Lou, lay an amazin...
Read full storyApathetic Sex Offenders Gleeful at the Prospect of a New Challenge
Sex offenders who have lost their appetite for crime are to be given a new zeal for acts of a heinous nature thanks to some soon to be released products known as Anti Rape Underwear. AR Wear, the company behind the products, will see prototypes ro...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Will Be Arrested If He Ever Returns To Brazil
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - The Canadian tough guy wannabe, Justin Bieber is at it once again. While visiting Brazil to perform some concerts he got carried away and tagged the walls of the hotel where he was staying as well as the wall of his expens...
Read full storySatellite Photos Clearly Show That Saturn Has Squirrels
HOUSTON - NASA spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb has just made the scientific news media aware of a very interesting discovery. According to satellite photos that were taken this past week, the planet Saturn, which is the sixth planet from the sun, ha...
Read full storyCheech & Chong - The Original Pot Heads Are Back
HOLLYWOOD - Cheech Marin, 67, and Tommy Chong, 75, known as Cheech and Chong are reuniting for another marijuana movie 35 years after their first one Cheech and Chong: Up In Smoke came out in 1978. The title of their new film is Cheech and Chong:...
Read full storyGovernor Chris Christie Adopts A Special Dog
TRENTON - Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey has stated that he will bet anyone who cares to make a bet that he will be the 2016 GOP presidential candidate. The rotund governor said that he will continue to lose weight until he looks a little l...
Read full storyBloopers From The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
HOLLYWOOD - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire opened to a Friday box office take of $70.5 million which made it the biggest opening day grosser of all-time. One of the stars Jennifer Lawrence said that she was amazed at the impact that the film is h...
Read full storyKristen Stewart To Star With Zac Efron and Cheryl Cole In The Smirking Countess
HOLLYWOOD - TouchRock Films in association with Lions Door Pictures has just announced that Kristen Stewart of The Twilight Saga series will be starring with Zac Efron and Cheryl Cole in Luigi Luigiani's epic film The Smirking Countess. Stewart wi...
Read full storyNina Dobrev Sues Hollywood Doctor After Colonoscopy
Since spies and vampires seem to be the hot items these days, now we seem to be getting them both in a Hollywood Lawsuit launched by an attorney for actress Nina Dobrev. According to her lawyer, like others in Hollywood, she went to an unnamed doc...
Read full storyArizona State Police Discover An Al Qaeda Hideout Near Yuma
YUMA, Arizona - In what many local citizens are calling an unbelievable story, Arizona State Police have found a 15 foot by 20 foot wooden building that housed at least a dozen Al Qaeda members. Sergeant Cameron Moneymix with the ASP stated to the...
Read full storyGOP: Replace the ACA with the Affordable Death Act, or Trumpcare
Republicans, stung by criticism that they have no viable or compassionate plan to help the 20 million Americans now covered under Obamacare, today proposed replacing the Affordable Care Act with what they are calling the Affordable Death Act, or Trum...
Read full story'Osama Bin Laden 2.'
A new more dangerous terrorists has emerged and he looks just like the old one. Claim CIA. 'It really is astonishing the resemblance...and him having the same name is an amazing coincidence.' said a CIA official. 'We really need to assure the...
Read full storyPope enters reality TV biz, premiering "Fish on Friday"
The Vatican - Faced with rising legal costs and shrinking contributions, the Catholic Church is jumping into the lucrative reality TV segment with an unscripted show that features the Son of God. "Our initial offering will be a how-to reality-ba...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Her Ex-Boyfriend Ian Somerhalder Sell Their Texas Ranch To Taylor Swift
SAN ANTONIO - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder purchased the 3,000 acre Blue Tattoo Ranch located outside of San Antonio in the summer of 2012. And now that the couple has ended their relationship they have decided to sell the sprawling ranch compl...
Read full storyChina To Open Up A Rickshaw Factory In Detroit
DETROIT - President Obama was in Detroit where he gladly announced that he has talked to representatives from the Republic of China about opening up a factory in Detroit. The president said that the factory will be housed in the old Oldsmobile Pla...
Read full storySarah Palin Eaten by Pro-choice Mama Grizzly While Hunting Caribou
SOMEWHERE IN ALASKA-Sarah Palin, the one-time ex-governor of Alaska and John McCain's running mate in his 2008 presidential bid, was eaten by a grizzly bear Wednesday while hunting caribou with her hunting buddy Ted Cruz. Palin, who was about...
Read full storyRev. Sharpdon Opposes The Use Of The Term 'Black Friday'
WASHINGTON DC - America is once again taking sides in the latest wave of the politically correct maelstrom. "I vehemently and catagorically oppose the use of the the word 'Black' in the term 'Black Friday' used to descibe a major shopping day,...
Read full storyLady Gaga's Sudden Desire For Nudity Is Due To Miley Cyrus
NEW YORK CITY - Many of Lady Gaga's closest friends are starting to express concern over the Lady's well being. One unnamed friend stated that she has never seen Lady G as obsessed with nudity as she is at the present time. The friend blames it...
Read full storyNASA Says That China Has Expressed An Interest In Buying The Land Rover Curiosity
HOUSTON - The government of China has acquired a lot of property in the United States and they have a strong desire to purchase a lot more. National Focus Magazine reported that (China) has expressed an interest in purchasing such well known Ameri...
Read full storyUS #1 In Spying, Cheating & Lying, Says UN Survey
New York City - While the US leads the world in military might, espionage capabilities and police presence, it is falling behind in such basics as truth telling, promoting freedom and supporting human morality. So says a recent report by the In...
Read full storyPamela Anderson Confesses That Her New Pixie Haircut Has Made Her Feel Sexier
LOS ANGELES - Pamela Anderson is credited with taking a regular bikini swimsuit and transforming it into an erotic accessory to her sensuous body. The former Bay Watch beauty recently said that there were days on the show when she would wear her s...
Read full storyPope-A-Dope Part 1: Pope Francis Deals It Up From The Bottom Of His Own Private What The Heck Deck
VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis unleashed his how you like me now mission statement for his (so far anyway) perpetually perplexing papacy Tuesday. During which he attempted to explain - via a variety of highly suspicious words otherwise recklessly distr…
Read full storyKristen Stewart In Trouble With L.A. Police Department
During the past several months Thieves have been robbing Kristen Stewart blind while she has been on the road and doing a lot of filming. She had placed call after call to the L. A. Police and no one was ever caught. In fact, she told a reporter t...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Claims The Moon For North Korea
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un enjoys playing the bad guy and stirring up all kinds of trouble. He loves threatening to fire missiles at South Korea, Japan, China, Switzerland, and even Los Angeles. A close unnamed source who has known Ki...
Read full storyThe Outback Steakhouse Has Decided To Change Its Name
TAMPA, Florida - The executives of The Outback Steakhouse had their semi-annual meeting in Tampa and decided to make a big corporate change. Board of directors member Cassiopeia Snapstickler, 51, stated that four of the eight board members present...
Read full storyFat Bloke Sues The Spoof
"It's outrageous" ranted Mr. Tristram Lard of Balham, south west London to Spoof reporter Paxton Quigley "There I was minding my own business crossing the high road after a few pints of Old Dogfarter in the Stoat and Gobbler with my shopping trolley...
Read full storyNew L Ron Hubbard temple gives credence to Clearwater Scientology revival
Clearwater, Florida - Looking more like a massive concrete aircraft hangar than a new age brainwashing machine the brutalist, $150 million erection has been greeted cautiously as a shot in the arm for the local economy by Clearwater mayor Bud Boodeek...
Read full storyGovernment Announces Plans To Reduce Road Accidents Involving Cyclists
The Government has today announced plans aimed at reducing the number of road accidents involving cyclists. 'Successive governments have been worried about the safety of cyclists in Britain for very many years,' admitted Secretary of State for Tra...
Read full storyAuntie Jean Advises - Barry McCociner from Grinstead
Barry McCociner asks: Auntie Jean: I have recently discovered secret messages on Tomato Sauce bottle labels. These messages form part of a code which, when you take the 3rd letter of each word and assemble the whole string of letters and reverse them, reveal top secret instructions about preparing a landing site for the forthcoming invasion of earth by aliens from the planet Zod. I...
Read full storyJack-In-The-Box Considering Dropping The Box
SAN DIEGO, California - The West Coast based fast food franchise Jack-In-The-Box is on the cusp of making one of the biggest changes in the chain's 62 year history. According to a corporate representative the company is currently planning on dropp...
Read full storyThe Truth About Married couples in Bed Fantasies
According to a just released report, men lie more about having an orgasm than women. In other words they fake it. Then, after a short while (no pun intended) they begin a "second" round of lovemaking. How about a third? "Yeah, on our honeymoon,...
Read full storyU.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!
The good old Department of Health, Education and Welfare has been delaying news we could have used earlier but, as always, they "didn't want to start a panic". Well, better a panic than catching a mutating flu that fights off antibiotics. Although...
Read full storyRussell Brand Confesses He Misses Ex-Wife Katy Perry's Sexy Boobs
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand is one indivudual who can sometimes be very hard to figure out. Many of his closest friends say that they have stopped trying years ago. He noted that the one time that he actually felt kind of grounded was when h...
Read full storyFatal Duel at Los Angeles McDonald's
Was it road rage or poor engineering that lead to the death of Emilio Rodriguez in the drive-thru of a Los Angeles McDonald's this morning? The local resident, who friends say frequented the world's most popular fast food restaurant, was shot and kil...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Hot! Hot! Hot!
LOS ANGELES - Jennifer Lopez who is 44-years-old showed everyone in the audience at the 41st Annual American Music Awards that with her age is nothing but a number. J.Lo performed in an erotically sexy metallic bodysuit as she paid tribute to the...
Read full storyNew Vegan Condom Available!
A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...
Read full storySanta Claus & Reindeer All Died Last Year
Although it was kept secret for almost a whole year, Santa Claus and all his reindeer plus three, some say as many as six elves died last year in a terrible accident. It was only when several spy agencies began comparing notes that they finally be...
Read full storyDonald Trump's Alleged Mistress Has Been Located
NEW YORK CITY - An unnamed source is alleging that he has found a woman who is believed to possibly be the mistress of billionaire Donald Trump. According to Tapioca Swizzle with Tittle Tattle Tonight, the unnamed source is actually a private inve...
Read full storyPhotographic Evidence Shows That The Moon Has A Huge Canyon That Resembles Arizona's Grand Canyon
HOUSTON - Recent photos that were taken of the moon have turned up what scientists are calling an amazing discovery. NASA reports that the photos which were taken with the RM-8000 Alpha Camera, which is the most powerful camera in the entire world...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Opens Up Kim's Succulent Donuts
BEVERLY HILLS - This past May, Kim Kardashian sold her restaurant that was located in Marina Del Rey. She said at the time that she hated having to sell Kim's Kozy Kitchen but it just became much too overwhelming. The KKK was noted for its Diet...
Read full story5 Million Tons of Rotting Rubbish Is Floating Towards California
CATALINA ISLAND, California - The United States Coast Guard has just notified the governor of California that they have spotted a huge mound of rotting rubbish that is heading for the West Coast. Captain Jonas P. Plattski, 53, stated that he estim...
Read full storyI Was Taking Advantage of During Brain Surgery
A patient at a Las Vegas Hospital is suing them for over a million dollars after she charged them with "taking advantage of her" while she was undergoing brain surgery. "They didn't know that I was awake during the whole time. All that stuff they...
Read full storyApple to Launch Latest in Technology: "iStoned"
Apple corporation developers are said to have a new product bubbling in the background. Right now details are hazy but there are rumors that they will release a mini marijuana bong equipped with all of the features that are available on other produc...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Makes A Shocking Statement
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin, the former star of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and then Kate Plus 8 appeared on The View and literally shocked Barbara Walters and the other hosts with an off-the-cuff comment. Kate, who is divorced from ex-husband J...
Read full storyAlec Baldwin to play Archie Bunker in All in the Family reboot
NEW YORK-In the spirit of remakes of such classic shows as Hawaii Five-O, Charlie's Angels and Leave it to Beaver, executives at CBS have confirmed rumors that Norman Lear intends to do a remake of his classic TV series All in the Family with a conte...
Read full storyRoseanne Barr Talks About Her Butt
BEVERLY HILLS - Roseanne Barr traveled from her home in Hawaii to Beverly Hills to consult with noted plastic surgeon Guggenheim F. Figfaust. Barr, who is 61, recently saw some photos that had been taken of her from the back while she was wearing...
Read full storyEvolutionist claims Garden of Eden story is a Jewish cover-up 'about Eve first mating with a massive swine'
USA - A forensic geneticist at the University of Georgia who has published his findings into the animal roots of human DNA says there is strong evidence that a lot of people are descended directly from Old Testament pigs. "OK, guys, no names, no p...
Read full story"Going, Going...pong!!" - The ConDem coalition government doomed for 2015
With his popularity going down faster than a man with erectile dysfunction part-time Prime Minister, Do-nothing-Dave and his ever desperate Coalition Government, are destined for the dustbin of history come the next general election on May 7th 2015!...
Read full storyTop Atheist Leader Issues Apology, Resigns Amid Controversy
NEW YORK - Following a series of verbal blunders, Terry Snogawd has resigned his post as chancellor of the First Atheist Not-church of America amid growing protest from a large number of the group's members. "Look, not one of us has been complete...
Read full storyNational Security Agency to shift from spying to matchmaking
CLASSIFIED - The nation's premier intelligence organization is getting out of the espionage game to become the world's largest computer dating service, according to documents released today by super snitch Edward Snowden. At an undisclosed locati...
Read full storyArgentina Wants To Buy The Northwest Territories From Canada
BUENOS AIRES, Argentina - The South American country of Argentina has been wanting to purchase a northern country in order to take advantage of the Winter season. Juan Jose Cantador, a spokesman for the Argentine government stated that they have d...
Read full storyLibrary 'too quiet'
An elderly book-lover has complained bitterly that her local library was too quiet. "There was a deathly silence about the place," moaned 75-year-old Lily Brearian, who has been using the library in Gateshead for over 50 years. "And recently I've...
Read full storyBloom, Publisher and Advertiser, on Gender.
It was the first thing I noticed as the beautiful Pamela his secretary led me in, the view from the many tall windows, the whole of Manhattan. The second thing was the massive desk, must have weighed a ton or more and looked like an altar. Then there were the paintings, Hockney, Smart, Dobell, Jasper Johns; I figured they had something in common but didn't know at the time what it was. Cabinets ev...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez To Star In The Motion Picture 'The Boy Toy'
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for Sky Castle Films has just announced that Jennifer Lopez will soon start filming on the Bellanino Terrabini epic film The Boy Toy. J.Lo, who is 44, made it very clear that she would only agree to star in the movie if...
Read full storyAuntie Jean Advises - Hugh Jarce from Liverpool
Auntie Jean, I have a personal problem which I can hardly bring myself to mention. I'm afraid to admit that when short of money recently I did the unthinkable and went down to the Docks area to try to earn some money. I knew that the means of earning cash for services rendered was still available, and that my advancing years may work against my ambitions. So I made my way to the sperm donat...
Read full storyUS military commander urges special biscuits and other measures to control lust in the troops
An unspecified spokesperson has come forward to speak for the unspecified commander who told a military rape victim she was at fault for being attacked in 2012. According to this commander, she must assume complete responsibility, because she was...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus and Nina Dobrev To Star In The Promiscuous Pair
HOLLYWOOD - Touchrock Pictures has just announced that production will soon begin on Bandini Borrapelli's musical romance film The Promiscuous Pair. Starring in the motion picture will be Miley Cyrus and Nina Dobrev, who will portray two singers f...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston's Friends Plead With Her To Dump Her Coattail-Riding Fiancé Justin Theroux
BEL AIR, California - It is no secret that Jennifer Aniston has grow extremely impatient that her fiancé of one year, Justin Theroux keeps putting off their wedding plans. Aniston is 44, and she has pointed out on many occasions that her biologica...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Talks About The Purported Pornographic Sex Tape Video of Him and Miss Pyongyang
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Reports coming out of North Korea are that Kim Jong Un is fit to be tied and he will get to the bottom of the latest sex scandal. The Rice Paddy News Agency of North Korea reported that they received a video tape in the ma...
Read full storyThe Miami Dolphins Suspend Starting Guard Richie Incognito
MIAMI - A spokesperson for the Miami Dolphins has confirmed reports that Richie Incognito, a starting safety has been suspended by the team due to a lunchroom incident. According to an eyewitness, who did not want his name or his jersey number rev...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Threatens To Launch A Missile At Switzerland
PYONGYANG, North Korea - There is nothing that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un enjoys more than being a bully. The Asian Pillsbury Doughboy, as Vice-President Joe Biden refers to him has threatened to fire missiles at about half a dozen countries...
Read full story