Bloom, Publisher and Advertiser, on Gender.
It was the first thing I noticed as the beautiful Pamela his secretary led me in, the view from the many tall windows, the whole of Manhattan. The second thing was the massive desk, must have weighed a ton or more and looked like an altar. Then there were the paintings, Hockney, Smart, Dobell, Jasper Johns; I figured they had something in common but didn't know at the time what it was. Cabinets ev...Read full story
"Booty Bumping" Added to List of Unnecessary Penalties in the NFL
It's official folks! After Sunday nights unfortunate turn of events, resulting in a "booty bump" given to San Diego's quarterback, Phillip Rivers, the NFL will now be adding "booty bumps" to a long list of unnecessary penalties. "My personal space...Read full story
American Corporation Expresses Thanksgiving Gratitude for "Citizens United"
"Before Citizens United," mused patriotic, all-American (outsourcing aside) corporation Corp. Inc., "I didn't have a great sense of who I really was. I didn't want to be all business, all the time. Now I don't have to be. I'm a person." A little b...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan marries mail order bride
Lindsay Lohan marries long time girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence of Jamaica in a picture-perfect wedding that took place in Hawaii on the magical Isle of Maui. The couple met on an online marriage agency. Shortly before the wedding, Lohan stepped out...Read full story
Top 10 Signs You Went To A Really Bad Plastic Surgeon
Please don't go to a cut-rate plastic surgeon. Here are ten indications that he's messed up again: 1. After lying in the sun at the beach, your forehead looks like a Klingon! 2. You're a TV Weatherman and during a big wind you didn't predict, you're desperately trying to 'save face'. 3. "It's Pruneface! I remember you from the old Dick Tracy comics!" 4. When hit by a bully, not o...Read full story
Top Gear review the new car range from Sparks and Mensa
Sparks and Mensa, better known for their high street stores for the cleverest of clever clogs, has branched out from branches into the automotive industry. "We're quite excited about this new range from S&M," said Jeremy Clarkson, who had tes...Read full story
Afghan leader Hamid Karzai sues Brit holiday resort over 'plagiarised' use of deckchair canvas
Afghanistan - His signature green/purple-striped Chapan coat is regarded the world over as the epitome of ethnic chic earning him the Kabulshit Times' ultimate accolade of Hot Dresser of the Year 2013. Unfortunately all that sartorial attention ma...Read full story
Britney Spears is in the dog house
Britney Spears is in the doghouse with a pet rescue agency after giving a pooch away to her friend Elton John. The singing diva adopted Iggy, a French Terrier mix, on Dec. 3d. But after three years, things didn't work out. Spears then gave the do...Read full story
Montana Man Invents Anti-Ball Buster
If Morgan Masterson can finish his creation, and he's very close, he will have invented a protective garment that will keep the family jewels safe and sound under many conditions. "I've made the prototype already and I need to get some volunteers...Read full story
Sandy T.W.A.T.S and Camels are the Future for the Middle East
Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq and The Emirates will stay among the world's leaders in energy production. A combination of sand and Camel dung have been found to give off colossal energy which can be produced in a Tocamac Water Fusion Amplification Chamber...Read full story
Italian Accused of Cooking-Up 'Spicy' Meatballs with £3m Street Value
'Spicy Meatballs' is a term used by Italian Chefs who put Meth Amphetamine in their food. DEA officials believe. "We believe we have found an Italian Chef who might be cooking meatballs and meth," said a DEA official. The accused Italian stat...Read full story
Jennifer Lopez Hot! Hot! Hot!
LOS ANGELES - Jennifer Lopez who is 44-years-old showed everyone in the audience at the 41st Annual American Music Awards that with her age is nothing but a number. J.Lo performed in an erotically sexy metallic bodysuit as she paid tribute to the...Read full story
Rihanna Presented With The 1st Annual Icon Award At The AMA's
LOS ANGELES - Rihanna, the Caribbean beauty who has had her ups and down in relationships was presented with the first ever AMA Icon Award. She was introduced by Bill Maher, a well known non-believer, who told Ri-Ri that he does believe that she d...Read full story
Pitbull Performs At The American Music Awards With A Nasty Twerking, Sexy-As-Hell Ke$ha
LOS ANGELES - One of the most talked about performances at this year's AMA's was the Pitbull - Ke$ha duet. The 26-year-old Ke$ha strutted her stuff all over the Nokia Theater stage dressed in cowgirl boots, a red gingham blouse, and tight Daisy Du...Read full story
Miley Cyrus Upstaged At The AMA's By A Pussycat
LOS ANGELES - In what seemed like an impossible feat, Miley Cyrus's duet performance at the 41st Annual American Music Awards Show in the Nokia Theater, was upstaged by a kitten. Miley sang her hit "Wrecking Ball" accompanied by a kitten who sang...Read full story
Republicans Finally Come Up With Their Own Health Care Plan For People Poorer Than Themselves.
The Republicans, after years of doing nothing but bash President Obama's Health Care Act, have at last introduced one of their own. Pooling their vast knowledge of human caring with aid from their endless sources of think tanks they have come up with a master plan to help those who are poorer than themselves and do not have the Congressional Insurance of life that they do: They will fly anyone...Read full story