Ann Coulter's "Take Back The N-Word" Stirs Controversy

Written by ShepShepard

Tuesday, 19 November 2013


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WASHINGTON DC - Political commentator, conservative author, and part-time Skeletor stunt double, Ann Coulter has once again found herself the center of an internet controversy. Ms. Coulter's new program "ADD THE R", focused on re-repurposing the word "nigga" back to the word "nigger", has been under heat and labeled extremely racist by many of those on the left.

An online petition has been setup which is funded by Ms. Coulter and is open to donors. The site hopes that, with enough signatures, it can have all positive references to the n-word removed from all dictionaries. It even hopes to go so far as to edit rap lyrics, basketball broadcasts, and Tyler Perry movies.

"Truth is, it's not really their [African Americans] word. It's our [white peoples] word." Ms. Coulter said in an interview with Fox news. She continued, "When I see a Puerto Rican and an oriental boy calling each other "nigga", laughing and joking, it makes me sick. That's a hate word. They're not even black."

As a surprise to many, she has found support from the other side of the aisle, even within the African American community. Having always been a harsh critic of the n-word, Reverend Al Sharpton immediately joined her cause, hoping that turning the word back to a racial slur will diminish its use within the African American community. When reached for comment he said, "That crazy bitch on the right is right, we will end that word with our might, African Americans need to be proud our fight, still she shouldn't say it because she's white."

But critics have been vilifying Ms. Coulter all over the internet. Eric Alterman of The Nation called it, "the most reprehensible petition in US history". Chris Matthews of CNBC said, "that woman has bleached the sanity right out of her head." Even the President joined in, tweeting "@AnnCoulter fuck this bitch."

Despite the controversy, this author can see a light in what Ms. Coulter is trying to do. She is trying to prove that words have strength, words have a history, and, of course, meaning. They can heal, they can hurt, and sometimes they can cause strong, visceral reactions. Ann Coulter is a rotten cunt.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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