Thanksgiving Comet or Royal Death Star? The portents look ominous

Funny story: Thanksgiving Comet or Royal Death Star? The portents look ominous

London, UK - The Astronomer Royal has issued a DeafCon Two alert about the Thanksgiving Comet as it crosses Queen Elizabeth's natal house of horrors in a sun grazing fly-past tomorrow at noon. Comet Ison's imminent cakewalk takes place exactly 333...

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Giant designer suitcase in Moscow's Red Square 'probably stuffed with dead MI6 cryptographers'

Funny story: Giant designer suitcase in Moscow's Red Square 'probably stuffed with dead MI6 cryptographers'

Moscow - The sudden, unexpected appearance of the huge 'art installation' has sparked terror among KGB bosses after an anonymous Muscovite wag scrawled RIP Gareth Williams in bold Cyrillic script all over the scarlet Louis Vuitton portmanteau. Dec...

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English Parliament to Criminalize the Celebration of Christmas by Welfare Claimants

Funny story: English Parliament to Criminalize the Celebration of Christmas by Welfare Claimants

There will be no dreaming of a white trash Christmas on the council estate or the trailer park for benefit claimants from 2016 if the Government succeed in passing a law to prohibit the celebration of Christmas by those in receipt of welfare revealed...

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Shocker: Miley Cyrus To Have Sex Change?

Funny story: Shocker: Miley Cyrus To Have Sex Change?

After going from a little girl on Disney for years, Miley Cyrus seems to be determined to continue to shock people in any way that she can. "You gotta admit she has some tough competition out there", says manager. "I mean, if you don't have a grea...

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Proof U.S. Lawmakers Don't Know The Difference Between Sh*t and Shinola

Funny story: Proof U.S. Lawmakers Don't Know The Difference Between Sh*t and Shinola

WASHINGTON DC - Washington politics weren't the only thing stinking to high heaven on Capitol Hill this week. Although at first it was hard to distinguish, lawmakers finally realized there was a pungent odor eminating from the floor of the Senate, a...

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Barbra Streisand, Aging Songstress, Believes People Are Overrated

Funny story: Barbra Streisand, Aging Songstress, Believes People Are Overrated

LOS ANGELES - Behind heavily fortified fencing and along the shark infested waters in Malibu, aging singer, Barbra Streisand, the lady that sang the phrase 'People, who need other people, are the luckiest people in the world', now believes people are...

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President Obama and Vice-President Biden To Tell Sarah "Snowballs" Palin To Keep Her Disruptive Butt In Alaska

Funny story: President Obama and Vice-President Biden To Tell Sarah "Snowballs" Palin To Keep Her Disruptive Butt In Alaska

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama and Vice-President Biden after meeting with a select group of their closest advisers have made a decision regarding Sarah Palin. The president and vice-president are drafting up a presidential message which will...

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Auntie Jean Advises - Convincing from Slough

Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Convincing from Slough

Can I tell if she's a Ladyboy? "Convincing" asks Auntie Jean's Advice: Auntie Jean, just lately I have been "misled" by a series of very authentic looking Ladyboys. Sometimes they meet me socially and it's a kiss goodnight afterwards and a tops fondle and tongues. A few days afterwards, another drink and meal and its a handjob and tops. It can take a week or so of wasted time and money be...

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Old White Guy Magic Responsible for Obamacare Woes

Funny story: Old White Guy Magic Responsible for Obamacare Woes

As the President jetted to the West coast to refill the party's empty bags of cash before the 2014 election cycle, the White House unrolled a new and previously unheard explanation for the failure of the stumbling health care plan. "It has nothin...

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Brooklyn Mob Boss Tells Alec Baldwin To Grow Up And Stop Embarrassing His Poor Old Mom

Funny story: Brooklyn Mob Boss Tells Alec Baldwin To Grow Up And Stop Embarrassing His Poor Old Mom

BROOKLYN - The head of one of New York City's largest crime families, Salvatore Goombalini has sent a message to Alec "The Brat" Baldwin. Goombalini made it very clear to Mr. Baldwin that the ten Goombalini brothers have had enough of his diva-lik...

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Auntie Jean Advises - Gaffa Tape from Wigan

Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Gaffa Tape from Wigan

Gaffa Tape asks: Dear Auntie Jean, Is a distinguished gentleman shafting my wife or is my wife a closet lesbian? I have been married for 3 years and was recently putting her underwear back in the drawers after my regular afternoon's trannying when I noticed some men's shirts in the bottom of the drawer. Underneath the shirts were a pipe and tobacco and an assortment of theatrical beards.

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First Gay Bigamist Sentenced to Five Years!

Funny story: First Gay Bigamist Sentenced to Five Years!

Seattle Washington citizen Howard Lindsey has become the first gay married male to be charged with bigamy. Lindsey, who married Allen Balls earlier this year apparently had already married ten other guys the four previous months and three of them...

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Nigella's Recipe for the Cold

Funny story: Nigella's Recipe for the Cold

In the run up to Christmas Nigella Breaklaw has published her special recipes for the festive season. 'I wanted to provide recipes for people who were worried about the cold weather' she advised food taster, Joanas Weed, 'here are some ideas to ke...

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Spanish Cathedral tops WTF list

Funny story: Spanish Cathedral tops WTF list

The hideous Antoni Gaudi unfinished Cathedral mess in Barcelona has topped the Mobile Device What The Fuck list 2013. The "Cathedral" which looks like someone has put a blowtorch to the Magic Kingdom Fairy Castle in EuroDisney is basically a surre...

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Beat Austerity Measures With These DIY Xmas Gifts

Funny story: Beat Austerity Measures With These DIY Xmas Gifts

Gift Ipod cover for child's IPod Fold a sheet of ruled writing paper around an IPod. Crease the folds and carefully cut out a window for the screen. Now here's the clever bit: Stick Scotch Tape or Sellotape first across one side of the window and then turn the paper over and do the same. Now fold the paper to the shape of the IPod and Sellotape together allowing an open section to slip...

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Kim Jon un to give Dog Lover's concert at Canada's CNE Stadium

Funny story: Kim Jon un to give Dog Lover's concert at Canada's CNE Stadium

Dog loving Head of North Korea, Kim Jon un is to give a massive Rock Concert to promote better quality Dog Food. North Korean Bands from the 60's 70's and 80's up to present day Superstars like 3 Dog Night and the Bonzo Dog Doo Da Band have been i...

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Cheech & Chong - The Original Pot Heads Are Back

Funny story: Cheech & Chong - The Original Pot Heads Are Back

HOLLYWOOD - Cheech Marin, 67, and Tommy Chong, 75, known as Cheech and Chong are reuniting for another marijuana movie 35 years after their first one Cheech and Chong: Up In Smoke came out in 1978. The title of their new film is Cheech and Chong:...

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Pamela Anderson To Appear In The Porn Film The Lewd Mood?

Funny story: Pamela Anderson To Appear In The Porn Film The Lewd Mood?

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Pamela Anderson has just said that she will soon start production on an X-rated motion picture. She noted that she will be starring opposite the King of Porn Ron Jeremy in the movie The Lewd Mood. Anderson, who is 46, told Vood...

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Dancing With The Stars Crowns Amber Riley and Derek Hough As This Season's Winners

Funny story: Dancing With The Stars Crowns Amber Riley and Derek Hough As This Season's Winners

HOLLYWOOD - Amber Riley, star of Glee, was so excited at being crowned this season's Dancing With The Stars winner of the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy that she did not realize it but she made about six back flips in a row. Her dance partner Derek "T...

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Wolf Blitzer Gets An Unbelievable Call From PETA

Funny story: Wolf Blitzer Gets An Unbelievable Call From PETA

NEW YORK CITY - The people at PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are not shy when it comes to stating what is on their mind as CNN's Wolf Blitzer has found out. Blitzer revealed that he received an email from Mimos...

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Taylor Swift Addresses The Extremely Short Dress Controversy

Funny story: Taylor Swift Addresses The Extremely Short Dress Controversy

NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift is still answering questions about the extremely short dress she wore to the American Music Awards Show at the Nokia Theater in Hollywood. Swift said that she had a feeling when she first tried on the gold lamé dress that...

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New Theme Restaurant Trying New Spin on Old Themes in 2014

Funny story: New Theme Restaurant Trying New Spin on Old Themes in 2014

A new restaurant is trying out a cutting edge theme. The restaurant will be called "Leftover Bliss Diner". "We are a restaurant attempting to capture 2014 nostalgia, for a restaurant in the late 80's that captured the nostalgia of a 1950's restau...

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Justin Bieber Confesses He Has A Crush On Demi Lovato

Funny story: Justin Bieber Confesses He Has A Crush On Demi Lovato

LOS ANGELES - Close friends of Justin Bieber are starting to make bets as to how long before the Canadian kid has a total and complete meltdown. Bieber went to South America and single-handedly virtually destroyed the sovereign relationships that...

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Lady Gaga Denies That The Recent Naked Photos of Her Make Her Look Manly

Funny story: Lady Gaga Denies That The Recent Naked Photos of Her Make Her Look Manly

NEW YORK CITY - An inside source has stated that Lady Gaga has reached the point where she is desperate for publicity just like that Left Coaster Paris Hilton. Lady Gaga has confided to a close friend that she feels that the record buying public i...

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NYC's Sidewalk Santa Parade Canceled after 100 Years

Funny story: NYC's Sidewalk Santa Parade Canceled after 100 Years

New York, NY - For a century, New York's Sidewalk Santas have marched on Fifth Avenue on the morning after Thanksgiving collecting donations from Black Friday shoppers. Now they're calling it quits. "There's just not as much money in it anymor...

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Letters to Santa Claus: 6 Year Old Rebel Leader Makes Request

Funny story: Letters to Santa Claus: 6 Year Old Rebel Leader Makes Request

Mr. Claus My name is Will Tayer. I am sure that by now you have been made aware of my status and the circumstances surrounding it. I have not been able to ascertain whether or not I have been classified in your files on the "naughty" or "nice" list. My guess is the latter. If you have not been kept abreast of the situation, you can read it in the articles listed below. Keep in mi...

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Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

Funny story: Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

According to a survey conducted at a college in Cupertino, CA, obsessive nose rubbing may actually be bad for your social life. While there are no definite root causes for such an odd habit, college students like Matthew E. explain that "It's hila...

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Top Twelve Worst Jobs

Funny story: Top Twelve Worst Jobs

All the following jobs are available and some pay well, if you are really desperate for work: 1. Stool Examiner for Pin Worms 2. Towel Distributor at Geriatric Sauna. 3. Referees needed for wild boar fights 4. Ear wax collector for the Rich and Nutty 5. Gas Station bathroom cleaner at a chain of Stop & Plops. (Mask furnished) 6. Traveling Foot Stool for Michael Moore.

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