USA - A forensic geneticist at the University of Georgia who has published his findings into the animal roots of human DNA says there is strong evidence that a lot of people are descended directly from Old Testament pigs.
"OK, guys, no names, no pack drill," Professor Einstein Flintstone said to reporters, "however, and strictly off the record, I've always thought my ex-in laws the Monstersteins look pretty damn porcine during a waxing full moon."
The geneticist's research paper lays bare a theory that the first humans were hybrids of a female chimp and some sort of prehysteric hog, something that led to Old Testament Israelites demonising pigs as unclean beasts - and the roots of the kosher food movement. (Uh, as in bowel? -'Ed')
Commenting on Flintstone's extraordinary findings the head of Mossad, Eli Davide, said: "The old Prof's become an obsessive boar bore," before condemning "all damn Islamo-fascist terrist swine" as deserving to be hog-tied and thrown in the Dead Sea.
Meanwhile a Congressional Committee on Obamacare proposals about mandatory genetic testing of US citizens for unusual DNA heritage has voted unanimously to send all living members of the Bush family for genome fingerprinting.
George W 'Pork Belly' Dubya is 69.
