Top Ten Silly Things That Happen Every Summer
Some things happen every summer so get ready for the Summer of 2014 while you shiver this winter. 1. At least a dozen men will lose a nut while using a weed whacker. 2. 1000 more in the South will get ptomaine poisoning from leaving Possum Salad out in the sun too long. 3. Over 200 Wall Busters on a skate board. 4. At least 300 hundred will catch a thrown fishing hook through the...Read full story
Distinctly canine look about 'St Peter's Bones'
Rome - A bunch of Himalayan long-tailed mastiff bones, thought to hail from the 4th century AD (Anno Doggii), have drawn huge crowds at St Peter's Square in Vatican City after the Pope proclaimed them official remains of the Catlick Church's founder.Read full story
Beyonce, Blake Shelton, and Honey Boo Boo To Record A Christmas Album
LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest is reporting that he has just learned that Beyonce, Blake Shelton, and Honey Boo Boo will be recording a Christmas album. Seacrest was told by an insider on Team Beyonce that the "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" singe...Read full story
North Korea's Kim Jong Un Warns China Against Flying Over North Korean Air Space
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Reports coming out of the capital of North Korea are that Kim Jong Un is angrier than a woodpecker with a rubber beak. He is very upset at China's new unilateral declaration of an air defense zone over Tokyo, Japan, and Se...Read full story
Kristen Stewart Denies She Started The Rumor About Being Pregnant With Rob Pattinson's Baby
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kristen Stewart was sitting in The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge, which is owned by David Arquette, when she was asked about ex-boyfriend Rob Pattinson. Kristen asked what specifically the reporter (Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors) wanted to...Read full story
After Indian Mars Probe, now Canada Launches Venus Rover
Canada has launched a Venus Rover from Cape Mountie closely following space projects by China and India. The Rover, while being very small, about the size of Ken and Barby's car is set to bounce down through the opaque atmosphere of Venus in eigh...Read full story
U.S. Loses AAA Serial Killer Rating
The number of active serial killers in the U.S. has fallen so dramatically that the AAA status awarded by the Hannibal Institute has been downgraded this morning to AAB. Speaking this morning to our Crime Correspondent, the chairman of the Hanni...Read full story
Bloopers From The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
HOLLYWOOD - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire opened to a Friday box office take of $70.5 million which made it the biggest opening day grosser of all-time. One of the stars Jennifer Lawrence said that she was amazed at the impact that the film is h...Read full story
The San Antonio Spurs Win Their 10th Game In A Row As They Clobber The Cleveland Cavaliers 126-96
SAN ANTONIO - Coach Gregg Popovich's San Antonio Spurs have just increased their record to a very impressive 12-1 as they beat the Cleveland Cavaliers by 30 points 126-96. The Spurs played all 13 of their players and for a moment it appeared that...Read full story
Will Smith Cheating On Jada Pinkett Smith?
HOLLYWOOD - It appears that Will Smith has picked up a bad habit from his friend Tiger Woods. Smith was recently spotted parked at The Encino Reservoir with his new beautiful, blonde girlfriend actress Margot Robbie who just happens to be his co-s...Read full story
A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools
TOLEDO, Ohio - Ever since he was a youngster Titus Hank Hookerhaus has always loved to dabble in the world of inventions. Well 19 years of dabbling have finally paid off as he has just invented the biggest army penknife in existence. The knife...Read full story
Selena Gomez Says Ex-Boyfriend Justin Bieber Is Becoming The White Chris Brown
CUCAMONGA, California - Selena Gomez was overjoyed at the fabulous reception that she received during her concert in Cucamonga's Santa Ana Winds Arena. After the show, which featured the British hip hop band Blokes 2 Chaps as her opening act, she...Read full story
Governor Chris Christie Says He May End Up Forming His Own Political Party
TRENTON, New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie says he is bound and determined to get the 100-pound liposuction he has been talking about. He told American Spotlight Magazine that he knows he can do it because he is a New Jerseyan and New Jerseyan'...Read full story
Pamela Anderson Confesses That Her New Pixie Haircut Has Made Her Feel Sexier
LOS ANGELES - Pamela Anderson is credited with taking a regular bikini swimsuit and transforming it into an erotic accessory to her sensuous body. The former Bay Watch beauty recently said that there were days on the show when she would wear her s...Read full story
Republicans Introduce Bill to Make Slow Websites a Treasonable Offense
Washington, DC-Mitch McConnell (R, AL) introduced legislation today to make the creation of slow websites created by the executive branch a treasonable and therefore impeachable offense and punishable for the first offense is waterboarding. For the s...Read full story
Thanksgiving Found Battered and Beaten In Back Alley. Police Clueless.
The holiday of Thanksgiving was found badly beaten in a back alley today. The holiday, which has been waning in power and influence in the last decade, is now virtually homeless and forgotten as it has been minimized by the more commercial, and there...Read full story
A Press Conference of the Democratic "Party"
In an unprecedented revelation, hardline Democrats announced today their actual (and quite obvious) opinions of such so-called "special interest" and "minority" groups as homosexuals, blacks and women. Considering all they have been doing for dec...Read full story
MSNBC To Broadcast The Infamous "Terrorist Training Camp In Northern NH" Video Tonight!
New York, NY - Direct from the AP newswire comes stunning information regarding MSNBC's level of credibility. It seems a video, taken a few days ago in Central NH, of two men raking leaves, one of whom was doing karate stances and other martial arts-...Read full story
Gay Couple To Wed, Both Say They Are Virgins
Both Billy Ray Smith and Roger Wentworth say they are virgins who want to get married. "I know such a thing is uncommon these days", stated Roger. "But we both have high moral standards." "That's so sweet, Roger." "Right back at you, Billy R...Read full story