Apathetic Sex Offenders Gleeful at the Prospect of a New Challenge

Funny story written by Mickey Mac Finnigan

Tuesday, 5 November 2013


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Sex offenders who have lost their appetite for crime are to be given a new zeal for acts of a heinous nature thanks to some soon to be released products known as Anti Rape Underwear.

AR Wear, the company behind the products, will see prototypes rolled out across the North American market early next year.

A press release for the company stated that "as long as sexual predators continue to populate our world, AR Wear would like to provide products".

Sex offenders should be prepared to encounter the products everywhere, be they "going out on a blind date, taking an evening run, 'clubbing,' travelling in unfamiliar countries, or any other activity that might present them with the opportunity for an assault."

AR Wear promise that the products will provide a challenge even if the intended target is unconscious.

The possibilities are being touted as limitless.

AR Wear has claimed that the products will be "resistant to pulling, tearing and cutting" and that emergency workers and intoxicated wearers will be screaming in frustration should they even think of trying to remove them.

One convicted offender who wished to remain anonymous had the following to say:

"I'm released next week, and I can't wait. Myself and the guys saw these online and we all just thought the same thing, 'Challenge accepted!'"

More information on the company and the marketing campaign which features young female models who all are slim, white, and beautiful can be found on the following website:
AR Wear

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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