Clearwater, Florida - Looking more like a massive concrete aircraft hangar than a new age brainwashing machine the brutalist, $150 million erection has been greeted cautiously as a shot in the arm for the local economy by Clearwater mayor Bud Boodeekin.
Today's official opening saw tens of thousands of Scientology nuts flock to this Florida backwoods to witness the cult's behemoth's topping out ceremony following a gruelling 15 year wait for the right astrological, atmospheric and karmic conditions to materialize ahead of Comet Ison's imminent cakewalk.
Sitting in the front row at the five hour-long dedication ceremony was Tom Cruise and a mystery red head, thought to be Kirsty Alley's dietician pal from Sheboygan, plus all the usual suspects like John Revolter and Lisa-Marie Presley.
Cameras were of course forbidden inside the cult's 'tabernacle' area where Scientology big hitters brought out wallets and credit cards during the culmination of the temple's consecration rite.
However one highly reliable witness who insists on staying anonymous said the whole damn shebang was just like the satanic scene in Cruise's movie Eyes Wide Shit.
Meanwhile at a rival Godsquad establishment across the road a pint of Kabbalah Water retails for a bargain twenty bucks.
