Everybody’s Gettin’ Satan!
With the Christians gaining power in America with their control of the Supreme Court and too many states and overturning good laws for something more Biblical (THOU SHALT NOT? Why not?), a lot of non-Christian Americans have embraced the Dark Lord (n…
Read full storyCPAC Killer Theatre
The old joke goes: Those who can’t do, teach, and those who can’t teach, teach gym. Here’s an update to the joke: Those who can’t do, become politicians. And those politicians who can’t do politics, try acting. Marjorie Taylor Greene is one…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Decides To Finally Talk About Her Inverted Nipples
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - For many years Miley Cyrus has asked all of her boyfriends and ex-boyfriends to please not reveal that her nipples are inverted. Reporter Cinderella St. Lamb, with The Daily Drama reports that every last one of Miley's…
Read full storyIowa's Corn Is All Dying Due To The Dreaded Trumpapalooza Heat Wave
WATERLOO, Iowa - (Satire News) - The state of Iowa has just informed the news media that due to the infamous Trumpapalooza Heat Wave, the state is in danger of running out of corn. The Iowa Corn Growers Guild (ICGG) has stated that if it does not…
Read full storyRittenhouse Tears for the Real Fake You
Kyle Rittenhouse has now bottled his fake tears and will soon be selling them on his website, which is linked to Donald Trump’s website. Did you kill people and think you were going to jail for a long time? Need to show human compassion in court t…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Reveals That a Certain US Senator Offered Her $3,000 For a Pop Rocks BJ
BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor has become perhaps the most popular congresswoman in the history of the United States. Boom Boom News reports that she has certainly had more boyfriends that the five Kardashian sisters combined. Dona…
Read full storyHitler’s Penis No Longer a Mystery!
Historians have researched the life and times of Adolf Hitler, and have some fascinating new revelations. It seems that Hitler liked wearing short pants – sometimes VERY short – in front of Goeballs (or however you spell his name), and he used to…
Read full storyLittle MAGA Americans Named After Hitler and Trump
More and more MAGA Americans are naming their babies Donald, L’il Trump, Ivanka (what a terrible name for anyone), Melania, Donny Junior, and Hitler! Janice Wrestlemania Scud had this to say about her new bouncing baby boy, Hitler: “He’s just…
Read full storyHoly Marriage in Las Vegas
Marriage is a union between a man and a woman, and it is sacred, blessed and ruled over by GOOOOOOOOOD! [Listen to those heavy metal lyrics!] God is there when Mr and Mrs are going through a wedding chapel drive-thru in Las Vegas, the groom dresse…
Read full storyA List of 10 Nicknames That Fit The Hate-Spewing, White T-Shirt Wearing Simon Cowell To a Tee
LONDON - (Satire News) - The American TV news show Tittle Tattle Tonight has compiled a list of names that have been used to describe the British television personality, music entrepreneur, record producer, Simon Cowell. Cowell is the creator of s…
Read full storyAll The Pretty Little Hitlers
France came close to having its own Trump in Le Pen. Did they like when Adolf walked in the front door after conquering them? Big muscle makes them hot and horny for a re-invasion, but from their own ranks? Hungary’s Prime Minister was at a Trump…
Read full storyJosh "Sissy Britches" Hawley Said That After Getting Millions and Millions of Threats He Is Thinking About Moving To Iraq
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Wild Whispers News Agency is reporting that the biggest wimp in the entire United States says that he is receiving threats of bodily harm every 17 seconds. Hawley, who is one of the Trumpturd's few remaining…
Read full storyNew Yummy Happy Bat from China
China is set to introduce a new wonderful and Mao-approved type of food, that they just know the world is gonna love. Happy Bat! That’s right, kids, ever tried eating a bat? Why not? Don’t know you’ll hate it until you try it, right? Delicious…
Read full storyThe Language of Bombs
Joe Biden goes to Israel to spread the peace and love and whatnot, and as soon as he leaves, Israel showers Gaza with missiles. Nancy Pelosi heads to Taiwan for some peace and love and whatnot, and when she leaves, China showers missiles into the…
Read full storyCambodia Is Bankrupt - It Asks Russia For a Loan
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia - (Satire News) - Reports coming out of the jungle country of Cambodia are that the Asian country has gone bankrupt. Economic experts are blaming Cambodia's failure on the uncontrolled Monkey Pox virus, which the country claim…
Read full storyChina Wets Pants Over Pelosi's Visit To Taiwan
Gee wheeze! Cool it, China. War is no way to promote tourism. So Pelosi visited a neighbor across the bay, gave a speech, received a ribbon or sash, and took off for her next stop. She didn't land in Taiwan, armed with an AR-17 rifle, taking a fe…
Read full storyBeto O'Rourke Who Is Running For Governor of Texas Challenges Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott To a Wheelchair Race
EL PASO, Texas - (Satire News) - According to 89% of all registered Texas voters, Democrat, Republican, Independents, and atheists, the next governor of the great state of Texas will be Beto O'Rourke,a man who, unlike Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott…
Read full storyAmerica’s Big Boom
A little known fact, except on anniversaries like Hiroshima Day, is that the United States of America is the ONLY country to have ever dropped a nuclear bomb on another country. When America first tested its bomb at Alamogordo, New Mexico, they di…
Read full storyTrump's Doctor Says That The Former Golfer-In-Chief Has Athlete's Foot of The Mouth
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - Trump made his personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi promise not to tell anyone about his unusually nasty-as-shit ailment. Trump is afflicted with Athlofunkitosis 6, which in layman's terms means that he has athlete's foot…
Read full storyElephants in the Age of Bots
Logging onto an old email, I receive this: “To fight spam and abuse, please verify that you are not a robot”. I am then shown a picture of a fire hydrant and am asked to identify all the traffic lights. Wha? The Hal-9000 is on its way! Do compu…
Read full storySaudi Arabia Reports That They Have Way, Way Too Much Sand - Sweden Agrees To Purchase a Bunch of It
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - (Satire News) - Boom Boom News (Sweden) has stated that Sweden wants to buy some of the overabundance of sand that the Saudi Arabians have. A representative for the Swedish government revealed that they are looking to replace s…
Read full storyTrump's Political Election Fraud Fund Pays $500,000 to Ivanka's Dress Designer
Trumps' curvaceous young blonde spokeswoman at Mar a Lago - (with what looked like a handprint on the rear of her white dress) - responded to criticisms of political money being spent on Ivanka's dresses - (a possible crime). A $200 million Elect…
Read full storyWarren Buffett (Singing Differerent Tune) Loses $43 Billion Dollars in Market
Warren Buffett stubbed his toe on Wall Street - and lost $43 billion Dollars - according to his latest financial statement. His company still makes a small profit for the year. Buffet, who earlier was a singer, had his last big hit in 1952 with…
Read full storyTrump Finally Admits That He Did Not Make America Great - He Just Made It More Racist
LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - BuzzFuzz is reporting that Donald Trump traveled to Las Vegas, where he secretely met up with his old "Bed Babe," Stormy Daniels. DJT tried to be extremely secretive about his visit to the "Spanker" as he nicknamed her.
Read full storyTrump Promises He'll Never Tell Another Lie...Yeah Right, And The Sun Will Never Shine Again Either
ROTTEN PEACHES, Georgia - (Satire News) - Donald Trump was in Georgia playing a round of golf with three of his only friends, Josh Hawley, Matt Gaetz, and Greg Gutfeld. And as usual, DJT cheated on his score, writing down that he shot a 69, when h…
Read full storyTom Cruise Starts Summer Acting School for Young Male 'Hotshot' Actors
Tom Cruise, still youthful looking - (and who knows how?) - is feeling his age a little, so has started a summer acting school in Hollywood for young actors. Cruise gave his first lecture to about 20 young macho, good looking actors. You guys…
Read full storyKing Kong China
King Kong was a giant angry ugly brute of an ape that had the audacity to reach his calloused smelly hand into Fay Wray’s apartment and pull her out, then climb the Empire State Building with her. At the top, he fought biplanes and seagulls and g…
Read full storyBlond Georgia Q’Anon Congresswoman Jokes
Why did the blond Georgia Congresswoman have three names? That upped her chances of remembering at least one of them. Why did the blond Georgia Congresswoman support Trump? She likes to back someone who is such a winner that he ‘wins’ no matter…
Read full storyThe New Orleans Saints Fans Known As "Who Dat Nation" Are Angry As Hell That Their Fan Group Name Has Been Banned
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana - (Sports Satire) - There are an awful lot of unhappy, angry, irate, disgruntled, devoted Saints fans in "Nawlins." The die-hard fans cannot believe that the NFL powers that be have just banned the long time Saints fans sayi…
Read full storyAlex Jones of Info News Is Now The Craziest, Wackiest, Most Out-of-Control Asshole In America
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Philadelphia Liberty Ledger has just reported that after five years, the Trumpturd has been replaced as the craziest, wackiest, most out-of-control asshole in America. The Philly paper adds that as unbelievab…
Read full storyShakira Charged With Tax Evasion After Her Hips Testify In Trial
Colombian pop singer Shakira has been charged with tax evasion of nearly $15 million by the Spanish government, after testimony from Shakira’s Hips, the star witness. The ‘She Wolf’ singer maintained her innocence through the trial, but Shakira’s…
Read full storyFox News’ False Claims Of ‘Open Borders’ Is Main Cause Of Massive Illegal Immigration
A new study shows that spikes in migrants trying to cross the US southern borders directly correlate to Fox News false claims of ‘open borders’ talking point repeated through a news week. A study and investigation shows that Fox News has been push…
Read full storyZelensky To Star In His Own Russia-Ukraine Biopic; Edges Out Jeremy Renner For Lead Role
Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky has confirmed that he will star in his own biopic film with a script still in the works. As Russia and Ukraine agree to continue ceasefire talks, Zelensky has won global praise as he fights to defend Ukraine…
Read full storyDue To Trump's Success With His Taco Food Truck, He Now Has a Hot Dogs Food Truck
THE BRONX, New York - (Satire News) - Donald Trump says that he is extremely proud of himself, as his Taco Food Truck (in Brooklyn) has been an overwhelming success. Trump told a reporter for The New York Sun Observer, that his Taco Truck is avera…
Read full storyChina Bans Pelosi From Panda Express
Beige-ing, China - On Friday, China got extra super pissy about Nancy Pelosi giving them the giant foam finger by visiting Taiwan, and they decided to take direct action against ole Nancy. Firstly, they sanctioned her and her entire family, even…
Read full storyLatest Trend in Fighting Global Warming - Buy A Glacier
The 'Have Sex to Save the Planet' California Ecology group has devised a new Marketing idea - sell glaciers, to save the planet. Their sex parties raised so much money they are branching out with this new idea. They haven't spent any money to sa…
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