Marriage is a union between a man and a woman, and it is sacred, blessed and ruled over by GOOOOOOOOOD! [Listen to those heavy metal lyrics!]
God is there when Mr and Mrs are going through a wedding chapel drive-thru in Las Vegas, the groom dressed as Marilyn Monroe and the bride dressed as Elvis Presley. Holy Holy Holy …
And LO! God is there when he and she are skydiving with their favourite priest as he yells over the wind, “I now pronounce you … my chute! My chute won’t open!” Holy Holy Holy …
And let it be known that when a bride and groom have their SCUBA tanks on and are getting united in matrimony before sharks catch the smell of the menstruating bride … Holy Holy Holy!
Who made Jesus fucking Christ the man who oversees marriages? Who made the Bible and its anti-gay, anti-everything stance the authority over me and my best gal Butch Dyke gettin’ hitched while wearing roller skates and tutus and singing “Viva Las Vegas” instead of “Here Comes the Bride”?
Who Who Who Who?
Those who speak for any kind of God have already blasphemed. Never listen to a religion when you want to fall in love with whomever YOU want.
