Historians have researched the life and times of Adolf Hitler, and have some fascinating new revelations.
It seems that Hitler liked wearing short pants – sometimes VERY short – in front of Goeballs (or however you spell his name), and he used to prance around and ask Hermann if his ass looked hot. Then he squeeze and groan until he shit his pants, and Hermann would then have to get on his knees and lick up the stain, all while singing some song about Uber Alles. (possibly a taxi service)
Also, geneticists believe that they have discovered why Adolf didn’t like sex very much, and (thank God) had no children (that we know of).
Turns out Hitler’s penis was deformed. It looked to be suffering from some kind of bizarre Teutonic disease which only affected Austrian men who had a preference for very small rectangular moustaches.
Is there a link between moustaches and a bizarre penis? Scientists working at the Republican National Headquarters in Mar-A-Lago are right now trying to prove the link. From there they will draw tiny moustaches on all pictures of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris (even though she probably doesn’t have a penis), since reason and logic have never been obstacles to right-wing “science”.
Maybe you too have a little Hitler in your pants! If so, Trump wants to recruit you! Join the little Hitler penis team, and get your pardon request in early!
Operators are standing by.
