Turns Out Billy Joel Really Did Start the Fire
We do a lot of celebrity profiles around here, but now and then we get someone really special. We’re very pleased this time to have Billy Joel, the great singer-songwriter behind such hits as “Movin’ Out,” “Uptown Girl,” and The Bosom Buddies theme,…
Read full storyThe Miley Cyrus Book, "The Fucking Art of Twerking," Is The Number 1 Selling Book In America
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Miley Cyrus has had hit songs, hit TV shows, hit movies, and now she can add a hit book to the masterful mix. Traci Diddle with The National Rumblings News Agency has just revealed that Miley's recently released boo…
Read full storyKristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, Nina Dobrev, and Brad Pitt To Star In "Revenge of The Vajazzled Vampire Vixens 2"
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The world famous Monteverdi Brothers, Amaretto and Staccato have just announced that they will soon begin production on the motion picture, "Revenge of The Vajazzled Vampire Vixens 2." The film will be set in the vampir…
Read full storyPutin's First Day In Hell
One minute he was leaning over his famous VERY long desk in his super isolated, extremely protected section of the Kremlin, the next he was lying on the floor rolling around from the paralysing effects of a stroke from reading the report of how a spe…
Read full storyScarecrows vs. Philosopher-Kings
Herschel Walker likes guns. Boy, does he ever! He likes to play Russian Roulette, “more than once,” he said, and went onto say that if people go to his house to compete against him (whatever that means), he’ll load a gun with one bullet and put it to…
Read full storyDue To California's Horribly Horrendous Drought, Residents Are Now Only Allowed To Water Once a Week On Sunday Morning Between 2:30 AM and 2:45 AM
SACRAMENTO, California - (Satire News) - Gov. Gavin Newsom, has informed the residents of the Golden State, that effective immediately, they will only be allowed to water their lawns ONCE a week; on Sunday morning between the hours of 2:30 AM and 2:…
Read full storyAnti-Putin Official Suddenly Hospitalized? Uh-oh!
A former Putin official who quit working for Putin's government in protest of Putin's war in Ukraine was hospitalized with a rare neurological disorder. Unlike accidentally falling out of a 5th story window, ex-Putin advisor Anatoly Chubais is sick a…
Read full storyTilly The Traveler - No Need To go to Mid East for 'Sun & Heat Vacations', U.S. West Now Great
This is Tilly the Traveler, in my snug Gothic cottage in the little village of Knickers Twist-famous for its pub sign of Red Knickers blowing in the wind. (Also, next door to the Bull and Scrotum pub - and their disgusting sign). Well, it’s ti…
Read full storyTwo EggMcMuffins Cost an Airline passenger $1,874
A passenger flying from Bali to Australia had two Egg McMuffins in their luggage-got caught with a Dangerous food product and fined $1,874 by Australian authorities. Australia is afraid of Indonesian Foot and Mouth disease- (for cows-not humans)-…
Read full storyClint Eastwood Is 92, But He Says That If He Was 72, He'd Be All Over Marjorie Taylor Greene Like Bean Dip On a Frito
CARMEL, California - (Satire News) - The man whose acting career got a big boost in the mid 60s, when he headed to Italy to make the extremely popular Spaghetti Westerns, recently talked to Hollywood Innuendo writer Fajita San Guacamole at his Barbed…
Read full storyBritney Spears Will Be Starring As Jessica Simpson In The Movie, "The Duke of Hazzard's Daisy Duke - Nude, Rude, and Downright Lewd"
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Jessica Simpson starred as the extremely hot, sensuously erotic Daisy Duke Short Shorts-wearing Daisy Duke in the 2005 movie, "The Dukes of Hazzard." And now Britney Spears will be starring as Jessica Simpson's characte…
Read full storyGov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Gets Bit On The Nose By a Raven
VIDOR, Texas - (Satire News) - Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott was in the parking lot of a local Vidor Walmart, when he was suddenly attacked by a raven. Vidor is a rough town, and is considered the headquarters of The Texas Chapter of the Ku…
Read full storyMelania Finally Reveals That Foreplay With Donaldo Consisted Of Him Looking In a Hand Mirror and Saying "Damn I'm Handsome!"
MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - Melania has finally spilled the beans on her so-called sex act with Donaldo. Mrs. Trump said that old Acorn Dick's routine foreplay consisted of him holding a hand-held mirror and telling her how damn handsome and buff…
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