China is set to introduce a new wonderful and Mao-approved type of food, that they just know the world is gonna love.
Happy Bat!
That’s right, kids, ever tried eating a bat? Why not? Don’t know you’ll hate it until you try it, right? Delicious and maybe nutritious and the Chinese Ministry for Yummy Foods for Popular Consumption (why do the Chinese talk like that? Use excessive, over-explaining words? Don’t you hire enough TESL teachers?)
Happy Bat comes in vacuum-sealed pouches to lock in the freshness and yummy-happiness!
Why not try a new flavor: Spicy Bat. Or maybe Sour Cream ‘N Onion Bat? Maybe Salt & Vinegar Bat, or Salsa Bat for that South of the Border taste!
Mmmmm, my stomach’s already rumbling! The Chinese really know about fast food and goodness and what people really want when they’re on-the-go and don’t have time to pick up a full meal. (Especially when they try to run for the border to save themselves from their shithole fascist dictatorship! China already built one wall – don’t make them put razor wire on top of it! )
Now, Happy Bat can be your breakfast, lunch and dinner!
Please note: Happy bat may or may not cause pandemic-level viruses, diseases, plagues, skin-rotting, organ-exploding, eyeball-bursting, bone-powdering, or uncontrollable screaming to die every day until you get your stomach pumped or put out of your misery. Yummy!
