Beige-ing, China - On Friday, China got extra super pissy about Nancy Pelosi giving them the giant foam finger by visiting Taiwan, and they decided to take direct action against ole Nancy.
Firstly, they sanctioned her and her entire family, even the very young—and the very old Pelosis. No Pelosis are allowed to go to China anymore, ever.
Her and her family are not allowed to buy anymore plastic crap from Walmart either. That's out too.
Tik Tok usage, gondy. As well as any weird animals you might get at a wet market. No more for you, Pelosis, says China.
No more Chinese checkers, cheap sunglasses, multi pack underwear. It's all gone for the Pelosis now.
But what might be most painful for her and her family is the complete and total ban on the fast food chain she loves dearly, Panda Express. Secret Chinese spies found out that she frequents the restaurant on lunch breaks quite often and they have decided to take 'Kung Pow" action. Hitting her where it hurts the most—in her 80 year old bowels.
"We know how much she loves sweet and sour pork thingies," stated China's Minister of Nasty Sanctions, "and those super slimy noodles with cabbage. She will never ever taste any of these MSG soaked foods again. That cute Panda is off limits for her and her family!"
Pelosi couldn't be reached for comment after the statement was released, but reporters outside her Capitol Hill office confirm that a DoorDash delivery person had a huge, greasy bag from Panda Express, and was looking for someone named 'Pantsy Nelosi.'
