America’s Big Boom

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 6 August 2022

image for America’s Big Boom
Americans will Salute Anything Red White & Blue, even this ...

A little known fact, except on anniversaries like Hiroshima Day, is that the United States of America is the ONLY country to have ever dropped a nuclear bomb on another country.

When America first tested its bomb at Alamogordo, New Mexico, they didn’t exactly know what it was going to do. Some even thought the bomb would start a nuclear reaction that could destroy the planet.

So what did the Yankees do? They flipped the switch and said fuck it, let’s see the Big Boom!

Japan was not the Japan of today. A lot of it was made of wood. Tokyo was already on fire from American bombs and the Emperor was getting nervous. Now, like most Royalty, they have their heads up their assholes and don’t like to be told NO! So Hirohito kept fighting.

But Japan knew it was losing the war. That’s why good, well-trained, pilots turned kamikaze. The Empire of the Sun had to survive at all costs. But it was just a matter of time, even without Fat Man and Little Boy.

Now the Yankees could have dropped ONE bomb in the sea just off the coast of Tokyo, started a tsunami, and only drown a fuck load of people, instead of turning them into barbecue. ONE BOMB in the sea.

But nooooo ….

At least wasn’t it nice of them to drop it on a non-major city? Hell, the Yankees didn’t even let the fires cool before they dropped a SECOND BOMB on another tiny city. That was just to show Japan what it could do, right? No, it was to see what happened to human flesh when a nuke hit it. In New Mexico, they tied pigs to stakes, since pig flesh is close to human flesh. But there’s nothing like the real thing, dang nabbit!

The Americans went too far to end half of WW2. They were emboldened to kill and win. The European half was already over. Japan was fighting alone They were complete shits, assholes, sadists – yes they were, I ain’t arguing that.

But so were the Americans. (From this ‘victory’, their ego would go on to invade Korea and then Vietnam: the first was a draw – that why we still have a North Korea – and the second was a total failure. Finally, America went home with its tail between its legs, to deal with Nixon and leave Saigon to fall (or rise, depending on whom you ask).

Can America be trusted? Russia and China are in the nuke club, and Putin likes to threaten to destroy the world with nukes. He has been emboldened by the history of America. They did it, so why shouldn’t he? Maybe Russia will have an empire again to rule the world. That’s all empires ever want to do – rule over everybody, praise itself, and kill anyone who calls it evil. Someone’s gotta stop three main countries from talking, invading, dropping bombs, doing anything … it’s a YUGE TIMEOUT for Russia, China, and the USA.

I asked this before: if those three countries didn’t exist, wouldn’t the rest of us on this planet feel A LOT SAFER?

Among those three, the Americans are the most dangerous. Why? ‘Cuz they proved themselves to be when they dropped two bombs on human beings to end a war that was essentially ended anyway. (Hirohito wasn’t going to any bunker, he was Emperor – he’d stay ‘til the end and learn to eat cheeseburgers.)

And you wonder how Donald Trump could become the leader of a country? In America, whoever has the most power (and tiniest brain) gets the prize. Then drops the bomb. Harry Truman is burning in hell for committing his atrocity against human beings; shares a bachelor apartment with Hitler and Mussolini, and boy, is it crowded and are tempers flying!

The end of the world won’t come from the usual hotspots of battle – Israel, the Middle East, Europe, Asia … nope, it will come from the New World.

As John Lee Hooker once sang, “Boom, boom, boom, boom … gonna shoot you right down…”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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