There were 396 spoof news stories published in May 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
LeBron James of The Miami Heat Responds To The Gay Rumors
MIAMI - LeBron James was asked about the recent gay rumors that have just surfaced regarding him. He explained to Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine that he and his fiancée were both shocked beyond belief when the rumor first surfaced...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder Denies That Nina Dobrev Has Had A Boob Job
BROOKLYN - One-half of the happiest celebrity couple in all of LaLaLand Ian Somerhalder was in Brooklyn visiting an old friend. Somerhalder who stars as Damon Salvatore on the hit cable show The Vampire Diaries along with Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesl...
Read full storyJay Leno Addresses The Divorce Rumors
BURBANK - Jay Leno has not exactly been himself lately. And who can blame him since he knows that he is being unceremoniously dumped by the suits at the Peacock Network. Leno has become very good at hiding his true feelings, but his hair stylist F...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Wins 8 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS - Millions of viewers watched as Taylor Swift cleaned up at the Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Sin City, USA. Taylor won a total of 8 awards including Top Female Artist, Top Country Artist, Top Country Album, Top...
Read full storyBritain's Double Decker Buses To Be Replaced
LONDON - Britain's Bus Bureau, known as the BBB, has just announced that it is in the process of starting to eliminate all double decker buses. Reginald F. Quibbenshire, a spokesperson for BBB stated that since the numbers of people riding public…
Read full storyUtah Says Anyone Caught Exhibiting A Tramp Stamp Will Be Fined
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - Sixty-two percent of the citizens of Utah are Mormons. According to a recent survey taken by The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company, 61.9 percent of those individuals are extremely dedicated to their religion. Mormons...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Fires Off 3 Missiles - All 3 Land In A North Korean Rice Paddy
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un AKA Butterball Boy, arrogant as ever has announced that he launched three missiles from a launching pad in Pyongyang. Chung Duck Ho, the spokesman for North Korea's Rice Paddy Whack National...
Read full storyO.J. Simpson To Be Released From Prison
LAS VEGAS - Many people were shocked to learn that O.J. Simpson, who was sentenced to serve 33 years in prison, could be released by Labor Day. A spokesperson for Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center stated that Simpson, who has ballooned up to 3...
Read full storyBenghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain
WASHINGTON, DC - On the afternoon of September 11, 2012, the White House began pre-party warmups, unaware of an impending attack in Benghazi, Libya. Young staffers, election strategists, and political aides walked through the halls, pointing at each...
Read full storyMadonna Cannot Stand Nicki Minaj and Says She Belongs In The Circus
BROOKLYN - Madonna was leaving The Salvatore Goombalini General Hospital after having had an ingrown hair removed from her upper lip. As she walked out the front door she was asked by Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk what she thought abo...
Read full storyEntire Minor League Baseball Team Suspended!
DULUTH, Minnesota - The commissioner of Minor League Baseball, Montague Bottlebiffer has just issued a three-game suspension for the entire Duluth Doodlebugs baseball team. Commissioner Bottlebiffer stated that it was brought to his attention that...
Read full storyFart Farm advocate accused of fudging data---threatens Fart Wars
The Raleigh News & Observer clamed in a front page editorial this morning that Senator T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg had "fudged the data" in claiming that his proposed Fart Farms could solve the state's energy problems. "This is not the first time...
Read full storyAtos canonised by the Catholic Church
Atos, the French company that has been charged by the Department for Work And Pensions to determine the disability payments for the people of the UK will be canonised by the Catholic church after a criticism from leader of the opposition, Ed Milliban...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Shocked At Her Lewd Upskirt Photo
BURBANK - Kate Gosselin was in town for an appearance on Jay Leno's Tonight Show. When she was on the air with the man who Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba calls The Chinmaster, she was shown a candid photo of herself. Kate gasped...
Read full storyAmericant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin
Spokesman Ann T. Sociale of Americant Airlines revealed a new price structure for domestic flights. The move is thought by staff here to be in response to a recent policy shift by another well known airline favoring passengers that do not bring bags...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Buys The Biggest Bong In Existence
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - According to iRumors, Miley Cyrus is one of the biggest drug memorabilia collectors on the entire Left Coast. A close friend of Miley's said that she has a roach clip collection that rivals even the extensive collection of 80-yea...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Admits She Has A New Intimate Tattoo
VENICE BEACH - Cheryl Cole plans to meet with Simon Cowell about possibly filling Britney Spears judges seat on X-Factor. The British singer had lunch with lookalike friend Selena Gomez at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Diner in Venice Beach.
Read full storyMan In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat
The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just becaus...
Read full storyDwight Howard Said He May Leave The Lakers And Sign With The Cleveland Cavaliers
LOS ANGELES - Dwight Howard spoke with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said that he has dribbled his last ball as a Los Angeles Laker. Howard told Rufus Reno with SBID that he just cannot take another year of playing for the Laker Day Care Cent...
Read full storyAndy Dick Infatuated With Katy Perry's Boobs
LA BREA - One of Hollywood's newest and most unlikeliest couples Katy Perry and Andy Dick were spotted having dinner at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Fellow patrons reported that Perry was wearing a blouse that was so low cut that both...
Read full storyPorpoise Switches His Tracking Device to Randy Researcher
After caring for an ailing porpoise for six months, researchers in Long Island recently released Noodle (yep, that's his name) back to the ocean, but not before they tagged him with a tracking device so that they can follow him and report his whereab...
Read full storyObama Administration to Establish New Department of Truth
In view of the recent scandals and persistent questions from the press and Republicans demanding that the White House explain variations in its responses on a host of so-called scandals - from Benghazi to the wiretapping of Associated Press reporters...
Read full storyRuling Authority announces first congressional draft
In its first pick in the new congressional draft, the Ruling Authority selected Arnold Sayers of New Ipswitch, Maine. The thirty-eight year old plumber was dragged kicking and screaming from his home to replace Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, also...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Mariah Carey Blames Nicki Minaj For The Lip Syncing Rumor
HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that there is no love lost between American Idol female judges Mariah "The Diva" Carey and Nicki "The Circus Clown" Minaj. But Carey is fuming at the charges by some American Idol viewers who have tweeted that she was l...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Rehab Clinic Escape Plot Exposed!
LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles Police Department is reporting that Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic patient #73013 was making plans to escape from the rehab facility. Officer W.K. Ruskinriggins with the LAPD said that he was called to the rehab...
Read full storyA List of 10 New Products That Just Did Not Sell
Every year hundreds of corporations throughout the entire United States spend millions of dollars on developing, marketing, and selling brand new products. Some times they get lucky and the product-buying American consumer accepts the product and the item becomes a manufacturing success. But most of the times, however, the public rejects the new product. And that item soon is sent off int...
Read full storyOh! Calcutta
Farce, by definition, is a standard theatrical comedy. Sadly enough, some criminal agents, for more than three decades, have devised a sickening strain of farce which boggles the mind. This 21st century strain combines the rough boisterous comedy with human suffering in a disgusting manner. In farce, everything is exaggerated, including the plot which twists a lot, thus sending the spectators'...
Read full storyShakira Finally Responds To The Chicharito Rumors
NEW ORLEANS - Colombian singer-dancer Shakira recently performed at The Voodoo Arena in the city known as The Big Easy. After her three encores she sat backstage and talked with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk. The 36-year-old South Am...
Read full storyBarack Obama Edges Out Kim Jong-Un For 'Best Living Narcissist' At 2013 Billboard Music Awards
HOLLYWOOD, CA - It was nearly termed another developing scandal for the Obama Administration, but, before the night was over, audiences saw the 44th President of the United States aptly named 'Best Narcissist' for the 2013 Billboard Music Awards.
Read full storyThe 10 sure signs you're playing for the Mets
Flushing, New York -- It's hard enough being a Mets fan, putting up with a Scrooge of an owner and a stooge of a general manager. Imagine playing for this talentless team. Put yourself in their bargain store spikes and consider the 10 top indicatio...
Read full storyMr Blobby arrested on suspicion of offenses carried out in 1990s
Star of Noel Edmonds' Saturday night show "Noel's house party", Mr Blobby, has been arrested by detectives from Operation Yewtree on suspicion of a string of offenses carried out during the 1990s. Several allegations against the bulbous pink star...
Read full storyPresident Obama To Visit North Korea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has given in to some of his advisers and he will be making a trip to Pyongyang, North Korea to meet with Kim Jong Un. The president said that he had been invited to be the guest of the North Korean leader two wee...
Read full storyStar Trek Into Darkness: The Bloopers, Trivia, and Quotes
HOLLYWOOD - Chris Pine, who portrays Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek Into Darkness, said that he had so much fun making the motion picture that he almost felt guilty taking the fantastic amount of money he was paid. Speaking with Pomona Vox of...
Read full storyHurricane hits Warsaw and kills nobody!
Warsaw,Poland: Hurricane Erskine hit Warsaw over the Whit weekend and killed nobody, damaged no buildings, but hit the Warsaw Book Fair with some very turbulent sex waves! In fact the impact of Hurricane Erskine Esq. hitting the city was so extrem...
Read full storyEcuador racketeering lawsuit names ultimate godfather of bent lawyers
New York - The International Shyster Lawyers Association has awarded Tony B Liar its prestigious Lifetime Achievement Gong for inspirational groundwork in New York's forthcoming Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations - RICO - lawsuit against...
Read full storyNASA Fumes As Kepler Telescope Emancipates Himself
To save face, NASA is reporting that the Kepler telescope is broken. Hogwash! The truth is quite different. And somewhat sad, at least for the space agency. You see, the telescope has declared himself emancipated from his NASA "parents" and has...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Announces That She and Chicharito Are An Item
NEW YORK CITY - Cheryl Cole, who is being touted to replace the fired Britney Spears on X-Factor, was in town shooting a lipstick commercial. She was asked by Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle about joining Simon Cowell's X-Factor cast. C...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Shocked At Being Booed By The Billboard Music Awards Audience
LAS VEGAS - The little singer from north of the border, Justin Bieber, received a rude awakening when he was booed by the Billboard Music Awards audience. The event which was held at The MGM Grand Garden Arena was viewed by millions of television...
Read full storyTaliban General Plotting To Kidnap Sarah Palin Captured In Wasilla, Alaska
WASILLA, Alaska - Local authorities in Sarah Palin's hometown of Wasilla are reporting that they have made one of the biggest arrests in the history of the Alaskan town. Wasilla Sheriff Abner Bellbubble stated that at 4 a.m. on Friday morning loca...
Read full storyThe Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision
The UK's Eurovision Committee, chaired by Sebastian Coe, have employed the services of Sir Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and a black magician by the name of Alistair Darling for next year's Eurovision contest entry for the UK. "Darling will employ t...
Read full storyRod Hull is still alive and in witness protection
Former Children's TV presenter Rod Hull, the owner of Emu and the curliest hair on television is not dead. According to the history books, Rod Hull fell off the roof of his house while adjusting the aerial on his roof. "When we came up with tha...
Read full storyShaquille O'Neal Turns Down An Offer To Return To The Los Angeles Lakers
LOS ANGELES - Former Los Angeles Laker Shaquille O'Neal was in Tinsel Town on some business. He was asked by Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket about the rumor that the Laker ownership has asked him to sign a one-year contract. O'Neal, who...
Read full storyThe Texas Nude Maid Service Is Booming!
LUBBOCK - The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company of Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just announced that The Texas Nude Maid Service, (formerly known as The Woman's Touch Maid Service) which is headquartered in Lubbock, Texas has become one of the fastest...
Read full storyKanye West Walks Into A Signpost and Kim Kardashian Says It's A Sign
BEVERLY HILLS - Kanye West returned to the states after spending weeks overseas in France. West said that he had gone to The Land of Ooh La La to get some inspiration for an upcoming album. Many U.S. music critics wondered why Kanye could not h...
Read full storyCollins Confirms 'Discovered Gayness' Was A Stipulation Of His Contract Extension With the Washington Wizards
WASHINGTON, DC - Averaging one point a game, promising NBA star and budding homosexual Jason Collins needed to do something - something fast - if he was going to extent his time in the limelight. "Look, you can't do that I do or see al...
Read full storyMark Knopfler arrested for inappropriate remarks
Police have announced today that as part of the ongoing investigations into inappropriate behaviour of celebrities during the 70s and 80s that Mark Knopfler, lead singer and guitarist of the rock band Dire Straits, is the latest to be arrested. "A...
Read full storySpock Had Ears Re-pointed by Plastic Surgery
And that's not all. He admits to a brow lift as well! Finally coming clean, the Vulcan confirmed the surgery rumors last night at a hastily called press conference at Grand Central Station in NYC. "This is the most exciting trip home I've e...
Read full storyCarrie Fisher Purchases $90,000 Worth of Star Wars Memorabilia
BEVERLY HILLS - Carrie Fisher has admitted that she is a first rate shopaholic and she cannot control her addiction. She recently spoke with iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli and told her that she has gone into book stores and ended up buying 25 b...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Reportedly Has Nude Photos of Ann Coulter
NEW YORK CITY - After insisting that he has never seen naked photos of Ann Coulter, much less possessed any, it appears that the Republican radio talk show host may be on the verge of changing his tune. According to American Spotlight Magazine the...
Read full storyPresident Obama Says North Korea's Kim Jong Un Wants The U.S. To Give Him A $1 Billion Loan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama revealed to Vice-President Joe Biden and his dinner guests George Clooney and Stacy Keibler the latest regarding that big mouthed North Korean fella Kim Jong Un. The four were having dinner at the White House alo...
Read full storyThere's Trouble Looming In The Prince William - Kate Middleton Marriage
NEW YORK CITY - Ashburn Wasabi with The Right Coast Revue is reporting that there appears to be some problems in the fairy tale marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton AKA The Duchess of Cambridge. Wasabi spoke with a correspondent with Engl...
Read full storyKid Rock Attacks Lip Syncers - Britney Spears Tells Him To Mind His Own Damn Business
LAS VEGAS - Kid Rock, who at times acts like he could be Gary Busey's long lost twin, offended a lot of singers at the Billboard Music Awards with his remark about lip syncing. Rocky, as Joan "The Moan" Rivers calls him, sarcastically said that he...
Read full storyCheryl Cole and Adele To Record A Song Written By Paul McCartney
LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest has just broken the news that Adele and Cheryl Cole will soon be going into the recording studio to record a song that was written especially for them by Paul McCartney. Seacrest said that Cheryl called him up and told...
Read full storyRihanna Finally Admits She Hates Chris Brown
DETROIT - Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that it appears that Rihanna has finally come to her senses. The Caribbean singer confided to Carolina Chipotle with BPT that she has realized that her infatuation with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown is over.
Read full storyAmerican Idol Bombshell - All 4 Judges Are Being Fired!
LOS ANGELES - The executives of American Idol have just dropped the biggest bombshell in the show's 12 seasons on the air. A highly placed inside source who said that his name was Ahab stated that he overheard the show's producers talking about th...
Read full storyThe Cleveland Hero, Charles Ramsey Deserves Big Macs For Life
CLEVELAND - There is probably no one in the United States of America who has not seen the video of Cleveland's Charles Ramsey explaining his role in rescuing Amanda Berry, her daughter, and the other two girls who were held captive by a crazy mad man...
Read full storyHealth and safety update the banned list
Britain's Health and Safety Executive have recently updated their banned list or household items that are no longer allowed in public buildings. "The first item on the latest list," said Daisy Bump, chairman of the H&SE, "is welcome mats. Thes...
Read full storyLady Gaga Talks About The Fun Toy Rumors
BROOKLYN - Lady Gaga says that she can hardly wait to get back on the touring circuit and show the world that she is a much better performer than Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Jennifer Lopez. Lady Gaga, who is recovering from a vocal cor...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Explain The Alleged 'Break Up" Rumors
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, stars of The Vampire Diaries, flew into Cabo's General Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana Airport and were immediately besieged by the paparazzi. Polo Del Matador, a reporter with The Cabo San Luca...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Is Thinking About Renaming North Korea
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un is without a doubt one of the most fickle leaders in the history of world leaders. The 30-year-old had the nerve to ask President Obama for a $1 billion loan (interest free). He has also stated that he wants...
Read full storyThe Pennsylvania State Senate Unanimously Bans Twerking
HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania - The State of Pennsylvania has become the first one in the nation to ban the new fad known as Twerking. The state senate voted 50-0 to outlaw the practice and issue heavy fines to individuals caught doing what Senator Con...
Read full storyNASA to Send Armed Rover to Mars
NASA have confirmed that their next planned mission to Mars in 2015 will involve sending a full-armed, armour plated rover named Killbot-X231. The rover, based on the current Mars Expedition Rover will contain both conventional and nuclear arms capab...
Read full storyKelly Clarkson Says "No" To American Idol
LOS ANGELES - The very first winner on American Idol, Kelly Clarkson has reportedly been asked to be a judge on next season's edition of the singing competition show. According to Music Moments Magazine, the producers of AI want Kelly to take over...
Read full storyCross Dressing through history
In the dawn of time, all humans were naked, so there was no such thing as cross dressing, but current research shows that cross dressing is a psychological condition, so although there was no cross dressing, there were cross dressers. These people must have been very confused, and didn't know how to solve it. Then, about ten thousand years before some hippy was killed for pointing out the flaw...
Read full storyOwning a dog good for the heart: RISK
New studies have shown that owning a dog can be good for your heart, but has the risk of exposing you to malodorous digestive byproducts commonly produced in the large intestine when certain bacteria are present in combination with certain foodstuffs...
Read full storyTiger Woods Ex-Wife Elin Nordegren Disses The Golf Gigolo
LA BREA - Close friends of Elin Nordegren have said that the Swedish beauty is still quite upset at ex-husband Tiger Woods. Elin, who was having dinner alone at the La Brea Tar Pits Diner, feels that she was led to believe by her former philanderi...
Read full storyPresident Obama Sings A Song At A Hip Hop Concert In Chicago
CHICAGO - President Obama and the First Mama flew into the Windy City to attend a concert by their favorite band Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz. Before the band started playing their big hit "S.H.E.S. Gone And I Be So Friggin S.A.D" they as...
Read full storyWhite House Uncertain of which Line Crossed, Obama Possibly Colorblind
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama, in an impromptu press conference in August of 2012, vowed that the United States would intervene to end Syria's then eighteen-month massacre should President Bashar Al-Assad use chemical weapons, saying, "We...
Read full storyDerek Acorah arrested as part of operation Yo-Yo
Operation Yo-Yo, the second phase of the police's inspection of famous people's previous indiscretions has uncovered two previous indiscretions by world famous psychic and generally well groomed Scouser, Derek Acorah. "We have discovered that duri...
Read full storyKate Middleton garden gnome caught in lewd shagging act at Chelsea Flower Show
London - The Queen's practically had a heart attack at the news that a Kate Middleton garden gnome 'looking like it had swallowed a mouthful' was found in a state of flagrente delicto at a Chelsea Flower Show preview party. Modeled on pregnant roy...
Read full storyNina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, and Honey Boo Boo Appear On The Viagra View
NEW YORK CITY - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, stars of the cable hit The Vampire Diaries appeared on Larry King and Regis Philbin's talk show, The Viagra View. Also appearing on the show was Honey Boo Boo, the nation's most famous 7-year-old.
Read full storyViewers shocked at close-up of Obama's blackheads
Washington DC - US President Barack Obama has shocked British TV viewers after revealing much of his face is pitted with blackheads. Speaking to White House reporters during a meeting with UK Prime Minister David Cameron the President displayed a...
Read full storyFriday's 'Ring of Fire' solar eclipse will transit Pacific Ring of Fire seismic zone
Pacific Ocean - An annular eclipse in the Earth sign of Taurus will trace a path across the world's most volatile tectonic zone on Friday. Beginning around half-past midnight GMT the 'Ring of Fire' cakewalk will take in a notorious seismic quagmir...
Read full storyKim Jong Un's Race Horse Will Not Be Allowed To Run In The Belmont Stakes
ELMONT, New York - The United States Racehorse Federation has just announced that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's racehorse Northern Rice King will not be allowed to run in the 145th running of The Belmont Stakes. USRF spokesperson Amethyst Chut...
Read full storyStudies Show Ritalin Really Works!
DES MOINES- A study from the University of Des Moines was conducted recently to learn about the true effects of Ritalin on children and teens. One student by the same of Harry Christiansen hypothesized that Ritalin works only because of the Placebo E...
Read full storyChurchill Downs crop circle predicts Kentucky Derby 1-2-3
Louisville, KY - One of the year's first extraterrestrial field etchings has appeared overnight at the world famous racetrack's saddling enclosure ahead of Saturday's 139th renewal of the Kentucky Derby. Groundsmen said this morning they'd noticed...
Read full storyHeaven Restructuring: God Out, Shiva In
HEAVEN--St. Peter announced today that heaven was going through a major restructuring and that Yahweh, CEO of Heaven since time immemorial, would be replaced by Shiva, known to his associates as "the Destroyer." Explained St. Peter: "Over the mil...
Read full storyFDA Approves Morning After Pill For Males: Let's Them Forget Coyote Ugly Sex Partners
BILLINGSGATE POST - With all of the controversy surrounding yesterday's announcement that the FDA has approved the morning after pill for females 15 years and older who wish to make sure the fun they had the night before doesn't result in a pregnancy...
Read full storyFart Farms: Rural North Carolina alternative energy initiative!
"An ill wind that blows no good," states The Raleigh News & Observer in todays morning edition reporting the following event: Approximately two hundred demonstrators gathered on the steps of the State Capitol building this morning to demonstra...
Read full storyApple Announces Their New Corporate Name
CUPERTINO, California - A representative with Apple Inc. has just informed the news media that the consumer electronics giant will be changing their company name. Toby Columbus Pittypacker, 49, explained that after months of inner-corporate debati...
Read full storyCleaver craze gives under-pressure Obama the perfect distraction
A dangerous new cleaver-juggling craze in America threatens to cut a deep gash in the population as President Obama, clearly bedraggled from recent Congress pressure, declared his support for the extreme sport. The craze was started by Lincoln Abr...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Is Very Unhappy With Kate Middleton
LONDON - Queen Elizabeth has said that she will not tolerate anyone in the royal family not adhering to established royal protocol. Reports out of Buckhouse AKA Buckingham Palace state that the 87-year-old gal is sick and tired of reading about he...
Read full storyTim Duncan of The San Antonio Spurs Going From The Basketball Court To The Divorce Court
SAN ANTONIO - Word from the front office of the San Antonio Spurs is that their four time NBA world champion power forward Tim Duncan is headed from the basketball court to the divorce court. Sporting Chance Magazine reports that a county courthou...
Read full storyPyongyang News says Kate baby's gone down the pan
North Korea - 'Princess Kate water birth goes tragically wrong' was the headline on Pyongyang News Tonite** as the North Korean national broadcaster played film footage of a baby 'flushed down the pan'. Notoriously picky about which news stories t...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Wants To Adopt Justin Bieber
NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie has said that she knows what it is like to be on an emotional roller coaster dating back to the time when she was with that Hollywood loser Billy Bob Thornton. Jolie spoke with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Tal...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus' White Short Shorts Reveal Her True Personality
BEVERLY HILLS - If Miss Miley Cyrus is serious about trying to get her ex-fiance Liam Hemsworth back, she may be going about it the wrong way. Billy Ray Cyrus' 20-year-old daughter has proven that she definitely marches to the beat of a different...
Read full storyObama No Longer Considered America's First African American President
President Barrack H. Obama has just been stripped of his designation as the first African-American president, according to the Dissociated Press (DP). A little known politician from Illinois, Hawaii, Indonesia, and Kenya, Obama ascended mercuriall...
Read full storyIntelligent Design stop using the eye as an example after Michael Beye discovers he needs glasses
For many years Intelligent Design have been using the human eye as an example as to why there must be a Designer responsible for all life. This has no been dropped after Michael Beye, author of numerous ID books and articles, discovered he needed gla...
Read full storyMotor cars in UK getting bigger
The average size of a family motor car in Britain has increased by over 30 per cent during the first three months of this year, according to road surveys carried out by teams of weight watchers and nosey-parkers. In 2011 and 2012, the average car...
Read full storyChevron opens Moon regional HQ
Pennsylvania - Newly acquired lunar oil field rights mean the San Ramon-based super major needs a new regional headquarters office campus a Chevron source said today. And next month the company will be starting up its newbuild-in-the-sky according...
Read full storyNoose tightens around Donziger's neck
New York - Dumped by his own attorneys as a potential bankruptcy liability Amazonbotch litigation hotshot Steven Donziger's ass is in a sling alright. Ecuador's $19 billion Chevron scam mastermind owes millions in unpaid legal fees to attorneys in...
Read full storyLady Gaga Denies The Ann Coulter Lesbian Rumor
NEW YORK CITY - Lady Gaga is furious at the fact that she was at a local supermarket and saw a photo of her and GOP pundit Ann Coulter with the caption The Musically Political World of Lesbianism. Lady Gaga called up the offices of the supermarket...
Read full story'CIA has played a counter-intelligence blinder' says Mossad bureau chief
Pyongyang - The arrest of alleged CIA spy Ryan Fogle in a Moscow sting op has seen Mossad's top North Korea desk intelligence officer piss herself with laughter at the ploy. "Some audacity of dope, eh?" Commander Ziva Davide [no relation] chuckle...
Read full storyTiger Woods Shocked To Hear That His New Blonde Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn May Be Dumping Him Soon
INDIANAPOLIS - Tiger Woods had just finished playing 18 holes at the Indianapolis Invitational when he was asked about the Lindsey Vonn rumor. Woods still had the putter in his hand as he was taken aback by the question. Sports Territory Magazi...
Read full storyCharles Barkley Wins $1,280,000 On Kentucky Derby Winner Orb
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - The 139th running of The Kentucky Derby was run on a field that was muddier than the town scenes in the western AMC TV series Hell On Wheels. Orb who was favored at 6 to 1 odds started the race in 19th place out of 19 horses...
Read full storyRed Sox Suffer from Junk DNA
Before you get your knickers in a twist, we will not expose the Red Sox junk this time. Science has just learned that the Boston baseball team has over 98% of useless DNA. Most teams like the Yankees have cut their useless DNA to a minimum, but th...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Named America's Most Confused Celebrity
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - The highly reputable Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company which is headquartered in Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just named its 2013 Most Confused Celebrity. And this year's winner is Justin Bieber, who barely beat out Lindsay Lo...
Read full storyNext Dan Brown Book Chapter Accidentally Leaked by Publisher
In a shocking leak, the publisher of author Dan Brown's book 'Inferno' let slip to opening chapter to what has already been agreed as the follow up. Due to be released in 2014, the as yet unamed title, has the below opening... Robert Langdon slammed his fist down on his desk in frustration. 'Why the hell cant I finish this coffee break crossword?' he thought. He had solved the majority...
Read full storyFormer Boston Celtics Player Comes Out of The Sports Closet and Admits He's Gay
WASHINGTON, D.C. - There has been all kinds of innuendo, speculation, and rumors as to who would be the first player from one of the four professional sports to come out of the closet. Well ladies and gentlemen, you can hold your calls as we have...
Read full storyAnna Megan Raley Considered To Be The Meanest Woman In America Has Been Fired!
HOUSTON - Anna Megan Raley has learned a very valuable lesson - and that is to never, ever mess with a woman's weight. American Spotlight Magazine reporter Cutter Shiloh stated that Raley is a perfect example of someone who has a blog and thinks t...
Read full storyGateshead Couple Fall on Hard Times
A middle-aged couple are recovering in hospital after a freak accident on their local high street. George and Florence Sellers tripped over a tightly bound parcel of newspapers which had been left for them outside their newsagents shop. They fell...
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