Friday's 'Ring of Fire' solar eclipse will transit Pacific Ring of Fire seismic zone

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 9 May 2013

image for Friday's 'Ring of Fire' solar eclipse will transit Pacific Ring of Fire seismic zone
Annular solar eclipse over Australasia

Pacific Ocean - An annular eclipse in the Earth sign of Taurus will trace a path across the world's most volatile tectonic zone on Friday.

Beginning around half-past midnight GMT the 'Ring of Fire' cakewalk will take in a notorious seismic quagmire of wobbly oceanic trenches and volcanic belts responsible for 75% of the planet's natural disasters.

The light show begins over Australia and nearby South Pacific Islands before transiting the 25,000 mile horseshoe-shaped Pacific Ring of Fire composed of over 450 volcanoes, most of them active and highly susceptible to lunar farces.

Most affected are likely to be the islands of Hawaii, the Southern Philippines, much of Indonesia, bits of Papua New Guinea and New Zealand's own notorious earthquake zone near Christchurch.

Announcing emergency measures to deal with any potential seismic fallout Jody Bushwackawacka, Australia's Minister for Kangaroos, Wallabies and Assorted Marsupials, warned fellow countrymen to be on the lookout for strange, eclipse-related behaviors among Oz fauna and flora:

"Reach for the flame thrower or electronic cattle prod, guys," the Minister said, "at the first sign of any deviant behavior.

"We do not want a repetition of the notorious Malignant Koala Syndrome that terrorized much of Australia during the 2000 Taurus solar eclipse."

The event is easily the country's most awful eclipse-related example of aberrant behavior in the animal kingdom - including kangaroo-on-kangaroo incest and rampant koala bear attacks on Vegemite factories in the Western Territories.

A lunar eclipse follows in two weeks' time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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