HEAVEN--St. Peter announced today that heaven was going through a major restructuring and that Yahweh, CEO of Heaven since time immemorial, would be replaced by Shiva, known to his associates as "the Destroyer."
Explained St. Peter: "Over the millennia, heaven has become too bureaucratic, too inefficient. We need some new blood to lead us in the direction of a leaner, meaner, more cost efficient celestial environment." Shiva, formerly of Hindu Pantheon, Inc., said of his new position: "I'm ecstatic! I'm looking forward to revamping heaven from the bottom up. Things are definitely headed in a new direction around here."
Some employees of heaven are not so pleased with the change. Apparently Gabriel and Michael are both in the process of updating their resumes. Said Michael: "The last time I updated my resume, people were still using stone tablets! Obviously, I've got a lot of work to do."
When CNN business correspondent Chad Lipscomb contacted God about the move, he shook his head sadly and said: "I didn't see it coming."
