Former Children's TV presenter Rod Hull, the owner of Emu and the curliest hair on television is not dead.
According to the history books, Rod Hull fell off the roof of his house while adjusting the aerial on his roof.
"When we came up with that story," said detective inspector Jenn Darme who is responsible for Hull, "we should have realised just how stupid it sounded."
Hull has been put into witness protection, and is providing the police with information on what fellow celebrities got up to for operation Yew Tree.
"Rod came up with Yew Tree as a name," said Darme. "It's his favourite tree."
Hull's information only goes up to 1986, as he wasn't invited to those sorts of parties after this date. However, from between 1972 and 1986, Hull has been providing the police with endless details of who, when, what and which vegetable was used.
"Rod is a little sad of late," said Darme. "He's been separated from Emu for a number of years now. He did say to me, that he'd wished that Emu had taken the swan dive off the roof, instead of him. That way the bird could be in witness protection, and Rod could still be going to show biz parties."
According to sources inside Witness Protection, Hull has already given the police over two hundred names, of which they have only manage to confirm a dozen or so.
"By the time Yew Tree has finished," said Darme, "we'll have no Christmas telly left at all."