Written by Erik North

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just because they think they can, which makes perfect sense. Well it turns out these people are correct, and as gay marriage is becoming more widely legal and accepted, people have decided that marrying animals is ok.

"Homosexuals can get married, so why can't I?" Asked a Des Moines, Iowa man named Christian Anderson.

Anderson is a 22 year old man who is fighting for the rights to marry his pet goat. The two met in early 2011 on a cruise ship where the goat, Miss Mary-Mack, was working as an exotic dancer.

"I know I met her at a club," said Anderson, "but it was her personality I fell in love with, not her body."

What does this mean for gay marriage? Well there are people out there who say we should outlaw gay marriage in an attempt to stop people from marrying animals. A more pressing issue, however, is animal rights! More than 300 people gathered outside the humane society today to protest that animals should have the rights to marry people. Animal rights activists and zoophiliacs alike are starting a movement to make animal marriage legal. So to all those who voted pro-gay marriage, congrats! You may have inadvertently started a revolution!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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