Written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 19 May 2013

image for Spock Had Ears Re-pointed by Plastic Surgery
An ear job was called for!

And that's not all. He admits to a brow lift as well!

Finally coming clean, the Vulcan confirmed the surgery rumors last night at a hastily called press conference at Grand Central Station in NYC. "This is the most exciting trip home I've ever had," one startled commuter was heard to say.

"It was merely a few nips and tucks," Spock explained, "just to tighten things up a bit before filming began for Star Trek Into Darkness." He continued, "After all, as I once said, Change is the essential process of all existence."

Spock said that he had been noticing in the last few years that his ears were drooping just a bit. He explained, "The nice firm, well-defined points were becoming kinda soft and mushy and even to a certain extent rounded. Good grief!" And, regarding the brow lift, Spock said it was called for, since he had lost that "surprise" look generated by his formerly raised brows. "I began to look like a humdrum, unsurprised human and that just couldn't be," he told the crowd.

A female fan in the front row nodded in agreement and shouted that Spock could also use a new hairdo. "A perm or a ponytail, perhaps?" she asked. Spock pretended not to hear her suggestion. "Those pointy ears don't seem to work so well, do they?" she complained to the fan to her right.

Spock ended the press conference by telling the crowd that numerous plastic surgery associations have wanted him to serve as their paid spokesperson, but so far he's refused. "Let some human do it," he said. "We Vulcans have better things to do with our time."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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