There were 717 spoof news stories published in September 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Surf and Turf, Hurricane Style
This is a fish story. Not a "fishy" story, but a story about fish. Hurricane Irene wreaked havoc for many a few weeks ago, but it created a unique experience for a group of fish in an upscale community in Westchester, New York, when huge waves from The Sound topped beach barricades and overflowed into the swimming pool of an exclusive yacht club. A number of fish from the sea rode the wave...
Read full storyHerman Cain's 999 Plan Nixed
The Tea Party has failed to support Republican hopeful Herman Cain's plan for tax reform. The plan, which calls for a 9% personal income tax, 9% federal sales tax, and 9% corporate tax, is referred to as the "999" plan. Despite the fact that this...
Read full storyTony Bennett Alleges His Hair is Real
Tony Bennett not only claims the United States "caused" the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers, but also-in a startling new assertion-the legendary 85-year-old crooner says his long-time alleged wig is, in reality, his own hair. Bennett defended his...
Read full storyZac Efron Says Taylor Swift Is Everything He's Always Wanted And Then Some
BOISE, Idaho - Zac Efron was in Boise in the capacity of parade marshal for The 59th Annual Boise Potato Peeling Festival and Miss Potato Peel Parade. The 23-year-old actor was told that he is the youngest parade marshal in the events 59 year hist...
Read full storyJared Padalecki sacked from new film after he cuts his hair
Jared Padalecki has been sacked from his latest movie after it became apparent to the director that the star of Supernatural and several films including House of Wax, had been to the hairdressers and got a hair cut. "The whole point was that he ha...
Read full storyABBA To Get Back Together After Wife-Swap Stunt
ABBA, the Swedish supergroup who, in the 1970s took the music world by its knackers and gave them a damned good shake, are to get back together after a self-imposed break of more than 28 years in the pop wilderness - but with a couple of major change...
Read full storySmartAss GPS gives men experience that their bitchy wives are along for the ride
HARFOLD, Vermont--Some men can't submit reports to their boss until the last minute of a deadline. Others won't turn in their tax forms until 11:55 p.m. on April 15. Similarly, many a man can't follow street directions unless they're being berated wi...
Read full storyWorld's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28
Clarke B Dingwall, the worlds tallest recorded dwarf, died last night in a tragic accident. Dingwall, 28, was last recorded at a height of 6'3", making him easily the tallest dwarf in the world, the next closest being Samuel N'gbab of Nigeria at a...
Read full storyWayne Rooney reveals where they took the hair follicles from
Manchester United striker, Wayne Rooney, has finally come clean and admitted where they took the follicles from to implant in his head. For a hair implant like Rooney's the surgeons take hair from elsewhere on the body, and insert it into the scal...
Read full storyUK Politician's Suitable Anagrams - 2011
We present to you, anagrams of some of the crooks... I mean MP's of this wonderfully riot torn, nepotistic, and crumbling Nation. You will find some members of the Conservative Party (Anag: Vast carnivore type), New Labour Party (Anag: An we bar poultry), and the Liberal-Democrat Party (Anag: Cry bedlam Proletariat) David Cameron: Prime Minister (Tory-Coalition) 'Odd, I crave man' Nicola...
Read full storyBritish Royal Family To Emigrate
Buckingham Palace officials have intimated that the British Royal family has decided to emigrate to the U.S.A. A source is quoted as saying that the family had a conference at Balmoral during one of their many holidays and have decided that as Br...
Read full storyWesterham Heights Man Dies in Sloth Attack
London - The ZSL London Zoo has confirmed that Taber Hemingway was killed quite viciously by sloths. Zoo security and Scotland Yard are still investigating what happened exactly. The security tapes in the Rain Forrest section of the zoo caught the at...
Read full storyNearly Nude Wedding Night Photos of Kim Kardashian Surface In New Orleans
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian said that she has not quite yet gotten used to the fact that she is no longer just plain, old, big butted Kim Kardashian and is now the very happily married, old, big butted Mrs. Kris Humphries. The Kardashian sist...
Read full storyNoel Edmonds arrested when Deal or No Deal Cult exposed
Noel Edmonds has been arrested by London Metropolitan Police this morning, when it was revealed that Deal or No Deal is a cult. "We first figured that Edmonds was a wrong 'un," said Detective Inspector Oscar Romeo, who led the investigation, "when...
Read full storyMemories of 2050 from 2090
Published in aid of the Outer Peruvian Pregnant Kangaroo Appreciation Society, Nottingham Branch. We have obtained from our Futurist Predictor, Mr I Seeitall, a list of comments passed on to the young of 2090, about the year 2050, for your entertainment, perusal, and education. We hope these revelations will assist you all in your future sospital, and will be soloecal to all. Mr Seei...
Read full storySandra Bullock Gets Her Heart Broken Again As Boyfriend Ryan Reynolds Tells Her She Won't Be Hearing Any Wedding Bells
AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock has had more ups and downs this past year than Coney Island's Cyclone Roller Coaster. The Hollywood starlet has just about gotten over her heartbreak at the blatant unfaithfulness of her now ex-husband Jesse "Wiener With F...
Read full storyWhy Bill Clinton Turned Down Dancing with the Stars
Here's the INSIDE scoop, not what the former president told the media -- that he was too busy. Yeah, right! Apparently Clinton was ticked off when DWTS producers nixed his plan to do a cha-cha to "Hail to the Chief." When Clinton protested that...
Read full storyGerman dairy cow saw the abbatoir coming and did a runner!
A Bavarian dairy cow named Heidi (name changed for legal purposes) run dry so the farmer decided to send it to the abbatoir, but Heidi being a clever old cow, smelt the abbatoir and bolted for it. The German police, Fire Service and others did all...
Read full story17 year-old Robin Hood in Germany gives himself up!
An English 17 year-old boy living the life of Robin Hood in a forest near Berlin has had enough and given himself up to the local police. The boy who's real name is Ray, not Robin, decided to live the life of his childhood hero alongside his dad w...
Read full story'Classified' chapter of Dick Cheney book reveals prankster secrets
Washington DC - The Bush Administration will go down in history as the "Prankster Presidency," according to revelations made in a classified chapter of former Vice President Dick Cheney's recently published memoirs. The top-secret material, which...
Read full storyShakira Says She'd Like For Lys Agnes of America's Got Talent To Be Her Opening Act on Her Upcoming "Hips Across America Concert Tour"
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Shakira, AKA "The Colombian Firecracker" is getting ready to go on her Hips Across America Concert Tour and she recently stated that her opening act Kings of Leon has cancelled due to the lead singer's ongoing wisdom tooth problem [W...
Read full storyProvincial Peoples Magazine. Isle of Wight Edition
Hello! And welcome to the second edition of the magazine that lets you know what other stuck up snooty curtain twitchers are doing around the country. Hope you enjoy! Mrs Scrongle-Fettlebum from the suburbs of Ventnor, held her annual Nose Bleeders party this week. Many people turned up and it was a great success. The blood will be donated to the local hospice. Tea and Scones were served.
Read full storyIMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"
The institutions and regulators of the global financial system today made an unprecedented joint announcement that will change the underlying basis of the global economy. These institutions and regulators, which include the International Monetary...
Read full storyBeauty Pageant Tells Miss Colombia To Start Wearing Panties or She'll Get Disqualified
SAO PAULO, Brazil - The 2011 Pageant has already encountered its very first piece of controversy (no pun intended). According to the pageant's president Pandora "Dimples" Slickpizzle, the contestant identified as Catalinita "La Bonita" Robayo and...
Read full storyAustralian PM Gillard Announces the 'Bonox' Housing Stimulus
In response to a worsening outlook for the Australian housing industry, the Australian PM Julia Gillard, has proposed the Bonox stimulus to give the industry a bit of a lift. The Hogs In Armchairs (HIA), the peak non-profit housing charity that bu...
Read full storyJesse James Divulges That Kat Von D's Sexy Body Is As Tight As A Drum
LONG BEACH - Jesse James, the former owner of West Coast Choppers, says that he has finally gotten over the fact that most people in America hate him for breaking the heart of America's sweetheart, his ex-wife Sandra Bullock. Jesse, who said that...
Read full storyRob Pattinson Confesses That Kristen Stewart Is A Sure-Fire Cure For The Summertime Blues
MALIBU BEACH - The star of the Twilight series movies Rob Pattinson was sitting on the beach in front of his Vampire Villa Beach House when he was spotted by an entertainment media reporter. RPattz has always been noted for being very cordial to t...
Read full storyFacebook and Google Plus buy each other
Facebook and Google Plus have announced that they are to buy each other, in a shock move that will surprise no one. Facebook has been losing customers since the launch of Google Plus and, over the past month, the social network created by the Sil...
Read full storyPaolo Di Canio blames ex QPR striker for defeat of Fascism in Swindon
Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio has launched a scathing political attack on centre forward Leon Clarke after their Carling Cup defeat by Southampton. The striker, who was recently 'released' by QPR for "lack of effort", had been heralded by Di...
Read full storySarah Palin Addresses The Kobe Bryant Rumor
KANKAKEE, Illinois - Sarah Palin's One Nation Bus Tour pulled into Kankakee, the Illinois town where Confederate General Stonewall Jackson said to his rebel troops back in September of 1862, "Dammit fellers, I do believe dat we be some lost sons-of-b...
Read full storyWorld Surplus of Bubble Wrap to be Used to Make Cars Safer
In a bold move, BMW and Volkswagen are set to start to work through the world's surplus bubble wrap mountain to coat the inside of their next generation cars. "It makes sense to us," said Brian McWilliams of Volkswagen. "We get paid to take this e...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera and Lindsay Lohan Allegedly Doing The Sis Boom Bahhh Behind Closed Doors
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan keeps insisting that she has seen the light and that she really and truly wants to get her butt out of the fast lane and take things a little easier. Lilo added that she has to make an effort to stay away from some of...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens, Nina Dobrev, and Mila Kunis To Star In The Attack of The Naked Nocturnal Vampire Nymphos of Norway
HOLLYWOOD - Lions Door Films in association with Hollywood Sign Pictures has announced that filming will soon begin on Bandini Borrapelli's motion picture The Attack of The Naked Nocturnal Vampire Nymphos of Norway. The film which is based on the...
Read full storyPenis Biometrics Installed In Vatican City
A New era in Vatican security has been realized today. The introduction of Genital Biometrics to Vatican City, brings with it much hope for the rehabilitation of Holy Mother Church's reputation. This high tech solution to an age old problem is the cu...
Read full storyDonald Trump Wants Kate Gosselin To Appear On Next Season's 'Celebrity Apprentice'
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump realizing that it has really been quite a rough two years for Kate Gosselin has asked her to appear on his next edition of Celebrity Apprentice. Trump was recently interviewed by Tilapia Frisbee of The Right Coast Illu...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera To Guest Star As A Daisy Duke Shorts-Wearing Motorcycle Mama On The TV Series "Sons of Anarchy"
HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera recently stated that ever since she was a little girl growing up in Staten Island, New York that she has always been fascinated with motorcycles. She said that for her third birthday her parents bought her a Fisher P...
Read full storyPMQ titters at Miliband's 'the Chancellor has lashed himself to the mast ...not for the first time perhaps!'
London - A thinly veiled S&M joke at PMQs today saw UK Chancellor George Osborne squirming in his Commons front bench seat. Opposition Leader Ed Miliband's swipe at Government economic policy saw a nudge-nudge/wink-wink remark allude to tabloi...
Read full storyMichele Bachmann's economic fix: Change nation's name to 'Occupant'
Big Bluff, Minnesota - If Michele Bachmann is elected president, "America" would become "Occupant," and the nation's economic woes would disappear, according to an announcement issued today by the Republican contender's campaign. The name change i...
Read full storyRob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are The First Guests At Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyler's Brand New Cabo San Lucas Resort & Casino
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The Puffy Taco Resort & Casino officially had its grand opening and the very first registered guests were the stars of the Twilight series Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. The new resort and casino is co-owned by Ry...
Read full storyBedtime Stories: A sewer Rat Sings
Morris, a rat that lived in the sewers of London, made his way along the shit stained highway of the tunnel he called home. Today was an arduous journey created by the rain that was cascading down the drains at street level. Morris did not want to be late he saw his opportunity and leapt onto a small piece of wood that was rushing by in the murky torrent. With the dexterity of an Aussie surfer...
Read full storyDavid Beckham eyes dream move to QPR
David Beckham is hoping to secure a switch from LA Galaxy to West London glamour club QPR: "I am fully focused on moving to QPR and helping them win the Olympics Games " said Beckham. The 36 year old footballer has been eyeing up a move to QPR for...
Read full storyWorld's Unluckiest Man Killed By Falling Satellite
Ned Tremble, the world's unluckiest man, was sadly killed yesterday by a falling satellite, in what appeared to be the final insult to a life of hardship. Tremble achieved official 'unluckiest' status four years ago, after a string of mishaps, unf...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent Finalist Lys Agnes Says Charlie Sheen Keeps Inviting Her To Attend A Los Angeles Dodgers Game With Him
HOLLYWOOD - One of the sexiest looking singers to ever grace the America's Got Talent stage Lys Agnes has informed the shows host Nick "The Pencil" Cannon about a rather uncomfortable situation. The El Lay Informer's Pia Confetti verified that the...
Read full storyJustin Theroux Tells Brad Pitt To Stop Talking About Jennifer Aniston and Concentrate On Angelina Jolie And The Bratty Half Dozen
NEW YORK CITY - Justin Theroux says that he has just about had enough of Brad Pitt chiming in with remarks regarding Jennifer Aniston. Brad dumped Aniston back in 2005 when he went off to film the motion picture Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Angelina...
Read full storyMichele Bachmann Says That Chaz Bono Should Not Be Allowed To Appear On 'Dancing With The Stars'
WAHOO, Nebraska - Michele Bachmann had just finished talking to a group of about 29 people at the Happy-Go-Lucky Corncob Trailer Park in the Nebraska town of Wahoo, when she was approached by a reporter for The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette. Coqu...
Read full storyColin Wanker following Joey Barton on Twitter
QPR manager Neil Warnock has gone 'underground' to monitor his players off-the-field activities. "I have signed up on Twitter using an anagram and I am analysing their tweeted conversations without them knowing" revealed Colin Wanker. Warnock has...
Read full storyInventions that should be invented but won't be
In part four of this series, we continue our look at inventions that will probably never be invented, but should be. Invention One: Jiffy Bags with the bubbles filled with helium instead of nitrogen. This is a similar idea to filling car tyres with helium in an attempt to reduce weight that we saw last week. The biggest plus point with this particular approach, in that postage is very e...
Read full storyTwo Singers, Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr., and Anna Graceman Move On To The Finals of 'America's Got Talent'
HOLLYWOOD - It was quite a night for the America's Got Talent semi-final contestants. Guest singers for the night included Nicki Minaj and Susan Boyle. Minaj was dressed like a black Alice in Wonderland and she paraded her humongous bouncing butt...
Read full storyThe Missing Sock Problem
For several decades, Secular Humanists have been brainwashing public schoolchildren with the godless, atheistic theory of evolution. Meanwhile, the scientific establishment has been engaged in a massive conspiracy to keep the truth about evolution fr...
Read full storyWake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.
New York City - The nation is sleeping through the wrong American Dream, and needs only to wake up to avoid the nightmarish problems it is facing. "If you don't think you're dreaming, examine the evidence that proves otherwise," said Kilgore Trout...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Confesses That Selena Gomez Is The Queen of His Heart
MONTEZUMA, Georgia - Justin Bieber was in Montezuma, Georgia, a town noted for having a peach tree that reportedly was planted by a sailor who came to America with Christopher Columbus back in October of 1492. Bieber had flown to Montezuma to film...
Read full storyTrain Spotting makes it into the Psychologists Handbook
The definitive guide to what is a mental illness and what is normal behaviour is due for release at the end of the month. Previous additions to the tome have been ADHD and body dismorphia. "Until it is in the book," said the Handbook's editor,...
Read full storyMinka Kelly butt-slapper vows never to wash hand again
HOLLYWOOD, Calif.--Marty Roberge, a crew member on the set of Charlie's Angels, was fired this week by ABC for slapping the buttocks of star Minka Kelly. Although Kelly was happy to let Roberge off with a stern warning ("Don't do it again"), ABC f...
Read full storyWolves given Twitter lesson by QPR
Wolves manager Mick McCarthy has blamed Twitter after his team were clinically deconstructed by QPR with tweets from @Joey7Barton, @alefaurlin and @RealDJCampbell. "QPR were just too articulate for us today" said a speechless McCarthy, who has banned...
Read full storyCan't afford an iPhone? There's an app for that
The iPhone is possibly the most expensive smart phone on the market, but many would argue that the interface is worth every penny/cent (*delete as country appropriate). Now Google's operating system, Android, has the answer. An iPhone-like interfa...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Three
A story of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, and poverty, starting in August 1947 Chapter Eight: The Magical Marvellous Mystery of Auntie Mabel Note: I originally intended to leave this emprise out of this story, but decided even writing about it for the first time, brought a warm, comforting glow back to my lonely soul, so I put it in! One Friday night, mother dear gently...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Will Be Watching Ex-Boyfriend Derek Hough When Dancing With The Stars Premiers
HOLLYWOOD - Season 13 of Dancing With The Stars will have it's season premier on September 19. The show which is one of the top ranked in the nation will return with Co-Hosts Tom "Jumpy" Bergeron and Brooke "Skinny Legs" Burke who says she wants t...
Read full storyQPR star Adel Taarabt considers name change
QPR playmaker Adel Taarabt is considering changing his name - because he's getting fed up with people mispronouncing it. "Everyone gets it wrong, it's pronounced 'Ter-rat' - but hardly anyone says it properly," he said after finishing training tod...
Read full storyAn Extremely Bitter Lindsay Lohan Will Not Be Giving Ex-Girlfriend Samantha Ronson and Her Future Wife A Wedding Gift
VENICE BEACH - The poor, little, troubled, and misunderstood starlet Lindsay Lohan reportedly threw one hell of a hissy fit when she learned that her long time ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson has asked her new belly bumpin' girlfriend to marry her.
Read full storyHeidi Montag Reveals She Has A Crush On The Kinetic King Who Appeared on America's Got Talent
HOLLYWOOD - One Hollywood celebrity who does not seem to have a shortage of male suitors is none other than Heidi Montag. Montag, who has so far had a total of 38 cosmetic surgeries as well as enhancement, enlargement, and tightening surgeries rec...
Read full storyNew York Punished By God, Says Reverend
Within the timespan of just one week, New York City was hit by not just an earthquake but also a hurricane. Coincidence? Well, no, not according to the Reverend Orville Dick. This often extreme, always controversial, ex-Florida resident wholehe...
Read full storyOccupy Wall Street, still not happening...honest, no it really isnt, trust me, I'm a journalist.
The protests that aren't happening in New York's famous financial district are still not happening, according to people who haven't seen it, mainly due to the fact that it isn't going on at all, which is also the main reason for it not being covered...
Read full storyAggressive measures to be taken after Scarlett Johansson naked photos leaked on Web
Scarlett Johansson joins Jessica Alba and Vanessa Hudgens as actresses who have recently upped their trending data immensely by releasing nude photos of themselves via their phones. Aggressive measures taken since this latest release includes men...
Read full storyIrish traveller refuses to be evicted from Big Brother house.
Irish traveller Paddy Doherty will soon to be told he has "30 minutes to pack his bags and leave the Celebrity Big Brother house." But the star of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding claims he has nowhere to go and has erected chicken wire around the program...
Read full storySchumacher's 200-Mile Wrong Way F1 Drive at Monza GP
The actions of a father of two who drove 200 miles the wrong way along a Monza race-track while five times over the drunk-with-power limit has been 'ignored' by race stewards. Michael Schumacher, 42, of Gland, Switzerland, performed a U-turn and d...
Read full storyAstronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head
NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...
Read full storyTSA falsely accuses man of transporting snake and tortoises, finds instead man's huge genitals
MIAMI, Florida--TSA screeners at Miami International Airport ordered that a man be held for transporting an exotic snake and two tortoises. A strip search revealed that the man instead sported an extremely long penis and large scrotum. Billy Sande...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Addresses The Rumors About Her Brand New Tattoo
VENICE BEACH - One of the most widely known tattoo artist on the Left Coast is a tattooist known as Bong Bong. He has reportedly inked the bodies of some popular celebrities including Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, Eva Longoria, and Kat Von D. He...
Read full storyNorth Korean Leader Changes Name to Darth Jong-il
North Korean leader Kim Jong-il has changed his name to Darth Jong-il, claiming that his original name does not inspire fear or respect in the western world. "While Kim is a respected family name in Korea, our esteemed leader is very aware that i...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Eleven
A story of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, and poverty, starting in August 1947 Chapter Twenty-four: Mummy Returns - Work Commences Just as I was about to leave school at 14 years of age, Mummy re-appeared on the scene after about 3 years. And Dad once more relented and took her back in, a move he much regretted later. (So did I) Dad got me job as goffer and van lad at...
Read full storyFulham charge QPR fans £500 to see Michael Jackson statue
Fulham are being investigated by the FA after charging away fans £500 for a Cottaging Package at the game against their West London rivals QPR. The Limited Edition Event includes being shown Tommy Trinder's false teeth, full access to the Glory Ho...
Read full storySome Shocking Sarah Palin Secrets Revealed In New Tell-All Book
WASILLA, Alaska - Noted author Jebediah "Torpedo" McGillicuddy has just written an exposé on the former governor of Alaska Sarah Louise Palin that alleges a whole lot of allegations. The book is titled, Gosh Darnit It Looks Like Old "Snowflake" P...
Read full storyAll aboard the atheist train!
The current fad amongst the mentally lazy is that of atheism. It has been claimed by the BAPS - British Atheist Propaganda Society that it is 'cool' to be an atheist. Once the domain of the faux intellectuals, now it is the topic of hot debate on ITVs 'Loose Women'! It is impossible to prove a universal negative, yet atheism - the belief that there is no God, makes just that wacky claim! Foolis...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Twelve
A story of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, and poverty, starting in August 1947 Chapter Twent-six: Into the offenders relocation digs The next day, I went off to work at Tesco, and after while I got call from dear mummy. She had got me somewhere to live. (Which I thought I'd already got before she stopped paying the rent, emptied the gas and electricity meters, flogged off...
Read full storyWall Street raid is off target: cops arrest protesters instead of the perps
New York - A special police task force swooped down on Wall Street this morning to arrest hundreds of investment and high-finance executives accused of defrauding and possibly destroying the world's economic system. But the cops were distracted by...
Read full storyNewlyweds Kardashian and Prince William Agree to Appear on Royal vs Celebs Wife Swap
Cash strapped royal couple, Prince William and Princess Catherine, have agreed to appear in the TV series Wife Swap, with Californian Kim Kardashian and her new husband, Kris Humphries. TV writers are looking forward to the culture and lifestyle clas...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent: Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., PopLyfe, Team iluminate, and The Silhouettes Headed For The Final Showdown
HOLLYWOOD - Nick Cannon and Piers Morgan were both sharply dressed and looked like they had both stepped off of a wedding cake, but not a gay one insisted Morgan. Howie Mandel looked like he'd just cut his front lawn, and Sharon Osbourne looked like...
Read full storySex Change Not All It's Cracked Up to Be Says former UK Man Now a Lap Dancer in Pattaya!
A former UK citizen who chose to change his gender in hopes of landing a better job, now says he has second thoughts about his new profession in Thailand where he toils nightly as an exotic dancer entertaining Germans. "I've always been a gay lad, but not in a gay way, I was just happy go lucky an that, but I got bored 'back 'ome', same old stuff night after night said "Ken," Out with the la...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Children, Paris, Prince, and Blanket Will Be Appearing On 'The Wizards of Waverly Place'
LOS ANGELES - Details are still sketchy but the producer of the hit show The Wizards of Waverly Place has confirmed that he has been in contact with a Jackson family representative about having Michael Jackson's three kids appear on the Disney Channe...
Read full storyAmanda Knox Framed on Police Lies says Pope Benedict
Pope Benedict XVI has weighed in on the Amanda Knox case. Today in an address to a million people in Freiburg, Germany Pope Benedict XVI said: "I cannot believe that Demi Moore has left Ashton Kutcher for Justin Bieber. Wasn't he dating Selena Gomez?...
Read full storyBoeing's greenest ever 787 Screamliner 'made from lightweight compost materials'
Chicago, Illinois - "Passengers can expect cabins with much greater humidity," Boeing's head of communications said today, "especially when the plane's windows are open over the Pacific Ocean!" The PR blurb issued by the aircraft manufacturer's US...
Read full storySumo Wrestlers: "Too Fat"
The Japanese government has come down hard on sumo wrestlers, branding them grossly obese and a poor role model for children. "Japan is suffering under a rising wave of blubber," said health minister, Yung Fat. "Over the past two decades we have s...
Read full storyQuantum Physics used to explain American Economy
Top government economists, borrowing from the field of quantum physics, have formulated a solution that is currently being implemented by Barack Obama to solve America's economic woes. Government economists suggest that our current crisis is being...
Read full storyActon man blames Einstein for parking ticket
Acton electrician Terry Scrote has blamed celebrated genius Albert Einstein for a fixed penalty notice he received whilst parked outside a greasy spoon. "I popped in for a £4-95 all day breakfast with extra bubble, and got involved in a barney wit...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Depressed At The Cancellation of Her Show 'Kate Plus 8' Seeks Comfort In The Rock and Roll Arms of Steven Tyler
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin has cried so much this past week that one of her close friends confided to iRumors that two of the Gosselin kids slipped on Kate's tears in the kitchen and got bruises on their tibias and femurs. Kate's cable...
Read full storyParis Hilton's Vagina Is Pissed Off
Paris Hilton has once again proved what a shallow, calloused, self centered person she really is. Rumors have always abounded that Paris is a creature of popularity, only hanging out with the coolest of the cool. Once someone is, "not", instead of, "...
Read full storyNASA Satellite Falls on Scientist Who Predicted Where it Would Fall
Lead NASA space junk scientist Larry Wrong was killed this morning by a one ton piece of debris from NASA's falling research satellite outside of his Orlando, Miami home. The satellite, UARS, which is commonly known as "the satellite that is falling...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Angrily Asserts That The Photos of Her Sitting On Mel Gibson's Lap Are Photoshopped
MADRID - Angelina Jolie recently managed to get away for a few days and flew from her hometown of Provence, France to Madrid, Spain. She told Brad (Pitt) that she needed some alone time away from him and the half dozen kids because she did not wan...
Read full storyAutumn Equinox special: defunct UARS satellite 'may be stalking Climate Research scam professor' - report
East Anglia - Is there really a satellite homing device implanted into the academic behind the University of East Anglia's global warming scam? NASA sources hinted today that the spent Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite's imminent crash landing m...
Read full story"He tried to bite me" - Teenage girl's horror as date with vampire goes wrong
Leesa, 16, of Alabama today told of her shock when a date with a vampire almost ended in disaster. "I thought he would write poetry and say really deep things" she sobbed "but he wasn't like that at all. Then he got all fangy and tried to bite me...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Seven
A story of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, and poverty, starting in August 1947 Chapter Fifteen: Mater Goes Again Mater did another bunk, and dad got us a new tin bath (well second hand as our old one was just beyond any more repair) which I thought was marvellous, but guess who had to keep boiling pans of water on the stove, topping the bath up, and then using the cold dirty...
Read full storyGary Neville's Unofficial Autobiography - C*nts
It's the book the whole of football has been waiting for - one man's angry rants against everything from Sir Alex Ferguson to his pet goldfish, Busby. Exclusive to the Spoof are these excerpts from Gary Neville's unofficial autobiography 'Cunts'. On Sir Alex Ferguson 'I met Sir Alex before he was a Sir, just when he was plain old Alex Ferguson or 'the Gaffer' as I used to call him. He w...
Read full storyTwo World Trade Center to be world's biggest Windows logo?
Suggestions that the design of the new building at Two World Trade Center in New York looks like a giant Microsoft advert have been strenuously denied by the designers. London-based Foster + Partners have said that the sloping roof of the building i...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Has No Idea How The Nude Photos of Angelina Jolie Ended Up On The Internet
PROVENCE, France - Brad Pitt said that his cell phone has been ringing non-stop with calls from several entertainment media reporters whom he says he trusts. One reporter Gazebo Serengeti with Bedroom Pillow Talk asked Brad how things were going w...
Read full storyBread from crop circle wheat fields 'sending people mental' - report
London - An explosion of scare-in-the-community numbers is being blamed on alien-tampered wheat that's infiltrated the national food chain. "You've only got to look at some Wiltshire residents' faces to see those Darwinian throwback genes surfac...
Read full storyOrganized crime steps in to 'organize' the US government
Howard Beach, Queens - Tired of seeing their criminal gains decline due to a shrinking economy and legislative indifference, the leading organized crime families in America have joined forces to take over the US government. "Youse won't be hearing...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Explains Why He's Hitting On Lindsay Lohan
SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen has reportedly been emailing Lindsay Lohan and telling her that he truly understands what she is going through and that he wants to be her BFF (Best Friend Forever). According to Bedroom Pillow Talks Carolina Chipotle,...
Read full storyTwo-sun 'Star Wars' planet lies on UFO rat run
Groom Lake, Nevada - NASA HQ sources said today the binary stars orbited by newly discovered Kepler-16b act as the perfect visual foil to camouflage UFO traffic. The Tatooine-like planet is bathed in sunlight for 99% of its 30-hour day and lies on...
Read full storyThe Burger King enters the Republican presidential race
Miami, Florida - Overthrown last month in a corporate food fight, the Burger King has vowed to regain his kingdom - the home of the Whopper - by becoming President of the United States. "I have been deposed by a pack of jackals and knaves," the ki...
Read full storyRepublicans and Democrats reconcile to gang up on America
Washington, DC - Stung by what might be the lowest job approval rating in the history of work, leading politicians from both political parties have put their differences aside to team up and go after the American public. "The war between Democra...
Read full storyJustin Timberlake and Girlfriend Mila Kunis Are Still Receiving Some Flak For Their MTV Movie Awards Show Groping
SANTA MONICA - Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis were recently having a nice quiet dinner at The Shanghai Sue Sushi Sandwich Shop. The happy couple was approached by Pia Confetti of The El Lay Informer who said that they looked like a couple of sch...
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