Two-sun 'Star Wars' planet lies on UFO rat run

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 16 September 2011

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Lack of UFO con trails lead NASA to speculate about a cosmic tractor beam near the new planet

Groom Lake, Nevada - NASA HQ sources said today the binary stars orbited by newly discovered Kepler-16b act as the perfect visual foil to camouflage UFO traffic.

The Tatooine-like planet is bathed in sunlight for 99% of its 30-hour day and lies on the trajectory of a mothership 'rat run' to a base on neighboring constellation Draco - 'the dragon'.

Viewed from Earth the brightness of the dual suns means returning craft are unlikely to be spotted without the aid of some very high tech filters on sophisticated space telescopes.

Gravitational pulls around the binary system appear to act as a natural tractor beam guiding space traffic to the home base in what astrophysicists have likened to 'impulse engine power' of Star Trek fame.

"Hence no UFO con trails," NASA head of exploration commented this morning.

An official statement issued today also described Kepler-16b as an inhospitable, cold half-rock/half-gas giant similar in size to Saturn.

In 2020 an unmanned NASA mission is due to report on the viability to harvest newly discovered celestial bodies for oil and gas.

A Chevron flag 'is ready and waiting' to be hoisted up on the Moon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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