Wayne Rooney reveals where they took the hair follicles from

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 5 September 2011

image for Wayne Rooney reveals where they took the hair follicles from
Sample images of toe-hair transplants

Manchester United striker, Wayne Rooney, has finally come clean and admitted where they took the follicles from to implant in his head.

For a hair implant like Rooney's the surgeons take hair from elsewhere on the body, and insert it into the scalp. Ordinarily, the hair is taken from the back, as this hurts less, is of the right consistency, and is generally unwanted anyway. However, Rooney had no hair on his back to take due to an unfortunate sun-bed accident back in 1994, forcing the doctors to look elsewhere.

"They took it from my toes," he said in a press interview with Coffee Drinkers Monthly Magazine. "I had the hairiest toes in the team. I think it's why the rest of the squad call me Shrek. He had hairy toes, so it must be that."

Hair from the toes is not the normal source of hair for head hair transplants as it is usually courser, more curly and can make the head smell of cheese, get athlete's foot and attract mosquitoes.

"We had very little choice," said Harry Head, the cosmetic surgeon who carried out the operation. "Wayne was largely hairless, which is extremely unusual in cases of male pattern baldness. Ordinarily, this caused by a hormone called DHT, di-hydroxy testosterone. It causes head hair follicles to die out whilst making the rest of the body hair sprout. Rooney is fairly young though, and DHT has not had chance to affect his body hair. The only place we had available was his toes."

It was determined that this wouldn't be a problem, due to the fact that Rooney is from Liverpool and, should he let his head hair grow, it would be black and curly anyway. Rooney does not wish to have a stereotypical Scouse hairdo, though, and has opted to crop the new hair short.

"Colleen likes it," he said. "And that's the main thing. Plus, it lets me get a bit of spin on my headers."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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