ABBA To Get Back Together After Wife-Swap Stunt

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 15 September 2011


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Waterloo! Benny Andersson today, without beard

ABBA, the Swedish supergroup who, in the 1970s took the music world by its knackers and gave them a damned good shake, are to get back together after a self-imposed break of more than 28 years in the pop wilderness - but with a couple of major changes.

The group, consisting of Anni-Frid "Frida" Lyngstad, Björn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson and Agnetha Fältskog, won the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest with Waterloo, and went on to score more chart success with other hits such as Dancing Queen, Mamma Mia, Knowing Me, Knowing You, SOS, Chiquitita, Super Trouper, I Have A Dream, Voulez-Vous, The Winner Takes It All, Fernando, Does Your Mother Know, Thank You For The Music, The Name Of The Game, Ring Ring, Honey Honey, Money Money Money, and Gimme Gimme Gimme, to name but a few.

During their heyday, Fältskog was the then-wife of Ulvaeus, and Lyngstad and Andersson were also married, but both unions broke up, probably, at least partly, due to the pressure of work.

Now, however, the Swedes have announced that they are back, and will commence a worldwide tour in February 2012, during which, they will play all those boring old songs I just told you about.

As a publicity stunt, however, and in keeping with an age-old Swedish tradition, the canny Scandinavians are indulging in a bit of wife-swapping. Fältskog is getting hitched to Andersson, whilst Lyngstad is to be wedded to Ulvaeus.

Swedes love to be liberal with their relationships, and frequently 'swap and change' to reinvigorate their marriages. This liberal attitude extends into their daily lives, with many people walking about the streets completely naked - even in mid-winter - and public transport passengers sensitively fondling each other during journeys to work.

Indeed, many Swedes also 'own' pets.

Brutus Fänstkoch, an avid fan of ABBA since the 1970s, was excited when he heard the good news. A local barber, he once trimmed Benny Andersson's beard. He told his neighbour's wife, with whom he was in bed at the time:

"I can't believe that Agnetha is now 61. She doesn't look a day over 60."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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