Minka Kelly butt-slapper vows never to wash hand again

Written by Lyndon

Thursday, 22 September 2011

image for Minka Kelly butt-slapper vows never to wash hand again
Kelly denies claims she slapped crew member's ass first

HOLLYWOOD, Calif.--Marty Roberge, a crew member on the set of Charlie's Angels, was fired this week by ABC for slapping the buttocks of star Minka Kelly.

Although Kelly was happy to let Roberge off with a stern warning ("Don't do it again"), ABC felt strongly that if anyone was going to slap Kelly's ass, it would be an ABC executive, not a piddly crew member.

The butt-slapper, for his part, was not too broken up by his firing, saying it had been especially hard to work with Kelly since their break-up.

Standing outside ABC studios and holding the perpetrating hand away from his clothing, he said, "This hand here--if I could sell it on eBay, I would. Otherwise, I'm just not gonna wash it."

Roberge insinuated that the butt-slapping had, in fact, been a long-time reciprocal affair.

"What do Derek Jeter and I have in common?" asked Roberge. "Well, it ain't 3,000 hits!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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