Swanage Bakers IV Offer Way Out For Tevez

League One side Swanage Bakers IV have sent a loan request to Manchester City to take gravity defying Carlos Tevez on-loan, until someone can be bothered to take on his demands; one of them being that he is insists that he has a rotating hostess on s...

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Pro-Celebrity Duelling on the way for Saturday nights

Funny story: Pro-Celebrity Duelling on the way for Saturday nights

The Saturday night ratings war between ITV and the BBC took a new and unprecedented turn yesterday. Due to start in late October, TV's new flagship series, Pro-Celebrity Duelling with Ant and Dec, will see celebrities take part in live duels to t...

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Provincial Peoples Magazine. Isle of Wight Edition

Funny story: Provincial Peoples Magazine. Isle of Wight Edition

Hello! And welcome to the second edition of the magazine that lets you know what other stuck up snooty curtain twitchers are doing around the country. Hope you enjoy! Mrs Scrongle-Fettlebum from the suburbs of Ventnor, held her annual Nose Bleeders party this week. Many people turned up and it was a great success. The blood will be donated to the local hospice. Tea and Scones were served.

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Amazon Announces Kindle Fire Tablet; Older Kindles Furious

Funny story: Amazon Announces Kindle Fire Tablet; Older Kindles Furious

At Amazon's Wednesday morning press conference in New York City, it wasn't only the long-awaited tablet computer (the Kindle Fire) that was introduced. It was also THREE other new Kindles. Amazon had also brought along some earlier Kindles (fir...

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Languid language languishes

Funny story: Languid language languishes

Language is in a constant state of flux What was common 500 years ago will now get you some funny looks This has been the subject of a great many books Discussing how they made a verb out of a word like ducks But for these tomes, they'll charge you fifty bucks And this piece is free, but not as comprehensive We can use words to shine light into tiny nooks And scare away some metaphorical...

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Carlos Teves to star in pantomime

Funny story: Carlos Teves to star in pantomime

Embittered Manchester City star Carlos Tevez will today launch his new career on the West End stage. In a radical departure from his current role as a forward for the Manchester side, now second in the Premiership, he has agreed to play Lady Brac...

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Cheryl tells The Sun "she never had it so good."

Funny story: Cheryl tells The Sun "she never had it so good."

The Sun has reported today that one of its undercover reporters, posing as an employee of Spud-u-Like, has spoken with Cheryl Cole about her alleged relationship with the Yeti. She is reported to have told the freelance reporter that Mr Yeti, 46, cur...

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Nick Clegg: Carlos Tevez right to refuse to play

Nick Clegg has shocked football fans by speaking out in impassioned defence of Carlos Tevez' refusal to come on as a substitute for Manchester City during last night's Champions League game against Bayern Munich. "Look," said Clegg in a specially...

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Carlos Tevez blames Coronation Street for everything

Funny story: Carlos Tevez blames Coronation Street for everything

Carlos Tevez has blamed Coronation Street for his refusal to get off the bench against Bayern Munich. The Argentinian has told Roberto Mancini that he feels "bored and depressed" and has complained that his bum looks big. "I have turned into a...

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Second last veteran of Dad's Army dies

Funny story: Second last veteran of Dad's Army dies

Comedy writer David Croft has sadly passed away at the age of 89. He was a veteran of the 1970s sitcoms Dad's Army and It Ain't Half Hot Mum, for which he was decorated and gained widespread fame. Later in his career he also served in 'Allo 'Allo, an...

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Sir Alex buys Carlos Tevez back!

Funny story: Sir Alex buys Carlos Tevez back!

After Carlos Tevez refused to play for City last night in the Champions league defeat against Bayern Munich, Sir Alex Ferguson popped over to City and bought him back. City were glad to get rid of the Enfant Terriblé and United certainly need a "...

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Wantaway striker Carlos Tevez hires Scargill

Funny story: Wantaway striker Carlos Tevez hires Scargill

Manchester City and Argentina forward Carlos Tevez has signed up former strike leader Arthur Scargill to organise a march in his name. The scarfaced player is fed up with the backlash since his apparent refusal to play against Bayern Munich in the...

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Mulligan! Obama Convinces UAW to Take $33m Golf Complex Off Market with Bailout Offer!

Funny story: Mulligan! Obama Convinces UAW to Take $33m Golf Complex Off Market with Bailout Offer!

The United Auto Workers (UAW) quietly withdrew their $33M, 1,000 acre resort in Michigan from the market after a private meeting with Obama's 'Green Team" at the EPA which promised a cash infusion to promote more 'green jobs' and pointing to the spr...

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Dyslexic MPs demand a raise in their weekly "celery"

Funny story: Dyslexic MPs demand a raise in their weekly "celery"

Dyslexic MPs were today accused of exploiting their disability to further their own political ambitions. In a strongly worded letter to the Grauniad, the leader of the dyslexic parliamentarian union has asked for an overall increase in weekly cel...

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Abominable Snowman stolen by Hadron thieves

Funny story: Abominable Snowman stolen by Hadron thieves

Police were today looking for witnesses after Mr Yeti, the missing link between humans and apes, was stolen from his home in London. He was last seen strapped to the back of a flatbed Ford Transit, identical to the one sought in connection with t...

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Friends Fans Celebrate As Favourite Comedy Returns

Funny story: Friends Fans Celebrate As Favourite Comedy Returns

UK fans of the hit US comedy Friends are celebrating after it emerged that the series is to return to British screens. The show was cancelled by its home in the UK, Channel 4 subsidiary E4, earlier this year after about 3,000 repeats. But with...

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Sun says Cheryl Cole and Abominable Snowman an item

Funny story: Sun says Cheryl Cole and Abominable Snowman an item

The Sun has today reported that Cheryl Cole, following her acrimonious split from footballer husband Ashley, has began dating the political refugee and former abominable snowman Mr Yeti. Yeti, 46, thought to be the missing link between humans and...

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Controversial Book Banned In Hog Jaw

Funny story: Controversial Book Banned In Hog Jaw

A new book that has divided literary experts in the UK has been banned from school and library shelves in Hog Jaw county, Arkansas, USA. Top academics at the Oxford, Cambridge and Hounslow universities have been slinging mud at each other over th...

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Ray Santilli to challenge Jackson RIP pix claims

Funny story: Ray Santilli to challenge Jackson RIP pix claims

Los Angeles - 'Evidence' from the alien autopsy footage forger who reckoned Princess Diana 'faked' her own death may be heard at last in the Conrad Murray trial. Today's editorial in LA FaghagSlagMag celebwatch magazine cites depositions filed by...

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She sells sea shells on sea shore! The shocking decline of Michelle McManus.

Funny story: She sells sea shells on sea shore! The shocking decline of Michelle McManus.

Roly-Poly Pop Idol loser Michelle McManus has been uncovered on Berwick beach with a makeshift market stall. The rotund reality show 'star' shot to fame in the 2003 edition of the popular Simon Cowell show with stunning renditions of songs by Fats...

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Ed Miliband conference speech upsets people

Funny story: Ed Miliband conference speech upsets people

The recent speech by Labour Party Leader, Ed Miliband, has caused furore, outrage, annoyance and even amusement amongst some supporters. Filled with words, sentences and on occasions, full paragraphs, the speech went on for almost an hour about lo...

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Occupy Wall Street, still not happening...honest, no it really isnt, trust me, I'm a journalist.

Funny story: Occupy Wall Street, still not happening...honest, no it really isnt, trust me, I'm a journalist.

The protests that aren't happening in New York's famous financial district are still not happening, according to people who haven't seen it, mainly due to the fact that it isn't going on at all, which is also the main reason for it not being covered...

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"Abominable Snowman cannot be deported" says Rights Group

Funny story: "Abominable Snowman cannot be deported" says Rights Group

Human rights group Sanctuary International say they will fight any moves to have a Tibetan asylum seeker deported. Mr Yeti, 46, a lecturer at Kings College and the only living example of the legendary 'abominable snowman' ever recorded, is accuse...

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Abominable Snowman claims asylum

Funny story: Abominable Snowman claims asylum

The mysterious and elusive Yeti, believed to be the missing link between humans and the great apes, has finally been discovered. Standing seven feet and with thick white fur, the existence of this large primate thought to have evolved from the gr...

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Dancing With The Stars Sends George Clooney's Ex-Girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis Back To Italy

Funny story: Dancing With The Stars Sends George Clooney's Ex-Girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis Back To Italy

HOLLYWOOD - Elisabetta Canalis danced her cute little Italian butt off but she just did not receive enough votes to keep her from being eliminated on Dancing With The Stars. Her partner Val Chmerkovskiy (Maksim's brother) taught her well but it se...

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Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are The First Guests At Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyler's Brand New Cabo San Lucas Resort & Casino

Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are The First Guests At Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyler's Brand New Cabo San Lucas Resort & Casino

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The Puffy Taco Resort & Casino officially had its grand opening and the very first registered guests were the stars of the Twilight series Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. The new resort and casino is co-owned by Ry...

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Poverty Stricken Greeks to visit the Rings of Uranus

In a bid to lift national spirits and world standing the Greek Government has announced plans to send a manned space ship to Uranus by 2020. Speaking from Athens, Greek Space Administration CEO Apollo Kakas made the announcement at a press confer...

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German satellite offers much better odds of us not being obliterated, but they don't teach odds in school

Funny story: German satellite offers much better odds of us not being obliterated, but they don't teach odds in school

BERLIN, Germany--Time to restock your fallout shelters. The German "Röntgensatellit" or ROSAT will most likely slam into Earth's atmosphere in late October or early November. However, whereas the UARS carried a 1 in 3,200 chance of hitting us, the...

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ABBA Replies To Fan Complaints about Name Change

Funny story: ABBA Replies To Fan Complaints about Name Change

ABBA, who recently changed its name to BAAB, has been receiving tons of hate mail regarding the change and impending record to be recorded in October. Agnetha, Björn, Benny, and Anni-Frid, shook up their aging fans when they announced recently the...

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How Parliament Works

Following on from my previous article about the Science of Politics, I have put together some further information for aspiring politicians. If you are lucky enough be elected to Parliament you should spend some time getting properly inducted into the basics of the system. This will allow you to slide smoothly into your new role with the minimum of fuss. It would be a mistake to think you know...

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Durex make worlds smallest condom!

Funny story: Durex make worlds smallest condom!

Scientists at the worlds leading prophylactic factory have been working night and day to produce a condom that will fit the smallest penis known to mankind. The project has been kept under wraps for many years and has only come to light after an...

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