HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian said that she has not quite yet gotten used to the fact that she is no longer just plain, old, big butted Kim Kardashian and is now the very happily married, old, big butted Mrs. Kris Humphries.
The Kardashian sister and her very tall drink of water husband New Jersey Nets basketball player Kris Humphries recently returned from their European honeymoon to Paris and Venice.
In Paris the newlyweds were seen having a romantic, midnight, candlelight dinner at the famed Le Eiffel Tower Diner and Sex Toy Shop.
After dining on Filet Mignon and French Fried Celery Cupcakes the couple retired to their honeymoon suite at The Hotel Brigitte Bardot.
The next day they flew to Venice, Italy where they rode on the oldest gondola in the entire Venice gondola fleet the Donna Deliziosa Della Serata Romantica (Delicious Woman of The Romantic Evening).
The gondolier Carlo Fettuccine told Kim and Kris that Sophia Loren, Marcello Mastroianni, Joe DiMaggio, and Father Guido Sarducci had all taken a ride on the world famous gondola.
A reporter for Italy's national publication The Daily Vino asked Mrs. Kris Humphries (Kim) what she thought about the nearly nude wedding night photos that had surfaced in a tattoo parlor on Bourbon Street in downtown New Orleans.
Kim was shocked. She replied that there was no one in their honeymoon suite except for her and Kris. She got a puzzled look on her face as she remarked that both of their cell phones were in her purse located on a chair beside the bed.
Kris was just as surprised. He then thought for a second and remembered hearing a type of clicking sound that appeared to be coming from a picture hanging on the wall in front of the bed.
Kim remembered the painting and said that it was a portrait of Alan "Mr. Candid Camera" Funt which she said she found really odd.
Mr. and Mrs. Kris Humphries have hired the famed San Fernando Valley investigating team of Twitchfitz & Toggendutch to travel to Venice, Italy and conduct an investigation.