Charlie Sheen Explains Why He's Hitting On Lindsay Lohan

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 1 September 2011

image for Charlie Sheen Explains Why He's Hitting On Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan has stated that she is much to pretty, sexy, and famous to be put in prison. (Photo by Rick Chorizo).

SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen has reportedly been emailing Lindsay Lohan and telling her that he truly understands what she is going through and that he wants to be her BFF (Best Friend Forever).

According to Bedroom Pillow Talks Carolina Chipotle, Sheen, who is also known as "The Space Cadet" read in the supermarket tabloid Just Saying that Lohan is so confused that she sometimes doesn't know if she lives in Venice Beach, Galveston Beach, or China Beach.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lindsay's home, Lucky Lohan Land is located in Venice Beach.]

Lohan also confessed that she is sick and tired of mean-spirited comedians like Adam Carolla, Zydeco Dupree, Chelsea Handler, and Cooperknox "Chuckles" Guttermist endlessly going on about her having anywhere from 717 to 13,000 freckles.

Sheen has made no bones about the fact that he thinks Lohan would make a darn good replacement for the two skank goddesses that left his "Tiger Blood Boy" ass high and dry.

The ex-star of Two and A Half Men confessed to Miss Chipotle that he recently saw some very revealing photos of Lindsay in an old copy of PlayGuy Magazine.

He confessed that after looking at LiLo's 19 extremely explicit photos and reading the accompanying 27-word article he decided that he would definitely hit on (her) in hopes of making her his new goddess.

Sheen wanted to make it crystal clear that he is unselfishly doing this in order to help save Miss Lohan from her own spoiled brat self-destructive self.

Lindsay was told about Charlie Sheen's infatuation with her. She smiled and put down her bottle of Southern Comfort. She then asked if he was still dating that fake blonde, ex-Dancing With The Stars diva Kate Gosselin.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lindsay apparently has Charlie confused with American Idol Judge Steven Tyler who is alleged still doing the horizontal hula with the star of the recently cancelled Kate Plus 8.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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