Justin Theroux Tells Brad Pitt To Stop Talking About Jennifer Aniston and Concentrate On Angelina Jolie And The Bratty Half Dozen

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 26 September 2011

NEW YORK CITY - Justin Theroux says that he has just about had enough of Brad Pitt chiming in with remarks regarding Jennifer Aniston.

Brad dumped Aniston back in 2005 when he went off to film the motion picture Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Angelina Jolie. Almost immediately Jolie hooked her claws into Pitt and snatched him away from his wife and America's sweetheart Jennifer Aniston.

Since then Jennifer has been on a roller coaster ride dating different men who just seemed to come into her life through one door and then leave just as fast through the other door.

Some of Jennifer's post-Pitt suitors have included Vince Vaughn, John Mayer, and Gerald Butler.

But as Aniston revealed to Bedroom Pillow Talks Summersetter Faxx her one true love has always been Brad Pitt, that is until now that she has found true happiness, passionate love, and sexual gratification, satisfaction, and fulfillment with Justin Theroux.

Jennifer confided to Miss Faxx that in the pleasurable department Justin is a 10. And that to show the difference Vince, John, Gerald, and Brad barely made a 7 together.

Lately Brad, ever the opportunistic opportunist, has been going around saying that he misses Jen and that it was his fault that they got divorced, and that he knows now that all the blame was strictly on him especially the part about him insisting on eating menudo and sardines in bed.

He has also said that he hopes that Aniston either emails him, calls him, or texts him just to say hello, hi, or that she wants him back so bad that she'll put up with him eating menudo and sardines in bed.

Justin Theroux is not the least bit pleased with the way that Pitt is carrying on with his girlfriend. He spoke with Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine and told her to write in her publication that Pitt had better stop talking about Aniston and concentrate on the woman that he apparently does not care enough about to marry (Jolie) and their half dozen bratty kids.

Theroux said that he is not the least bit jealous of Pitt and that it is just a matter of Pitt simply just trying to get his name in the papers to help publicize his new movie Money Ball, and using Jennifer Aniston to do it.

SIDENOTE: Justin did not want to mention it but according to Pia Confetti with The El Lay Informer, Angelina Jolie has sent him (Theroux) a total of nine text messages saying how sexy he is and that she would like to meet him for a drink or six.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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