Naomi Campbell, The Mean Daffy Diva Is At It Again

Funny story: Naomi Campbell, The Mean Daffy Diva Is At It Again

NEW YORK CITY - Naomi Campbell has got to be one of the most conceited, arrogant, self-centered bitches in the history of bitches. The London born black woman can make the ex-quintessential prima donna Madonna look like sweet little country singin...

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Simon Cowell just gets richer

Funny story: Simon Cowell just gets richer

Simon Cowell is reported today as being even more rich than he was last year. Financial analysts attribute his massive excess in his pounds and dollars collection hobby to his share of the profits from artistes such as Leona Lewis and Susan Boyle.

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New Local Business To Add New Services To Community

Funny story: New Local Business To Add New Services To Community

Maybelle Buford, owner of Maybelle's Auto Body Front End and Paint and Bikini Wax, told representatives of the Chamber of Commerce that her brother is opening a new business in town. Ed Earl Simmons will open Simmons Western Wear, Hair, and Tanning...

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Britney in new low: contacts Russell Grant

Funny story: Britney in new low: contacts Russell Grant

Troubled star Britney Spear's life has sunk to such depths that she has contacted Russell Grant. The astrologer said, 'I got an email from Britney Spears office. Apparently she wants a reading. I need to check out its validity.' He then disappea...

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Brown Warns Of Tory Job Threats

Funny story: Brown Warns Of Tory Job Threats

Prime Minister Gordon Brown today spoke of his fears of a Conservative government and how it might affect the jobs market. "If you vote Conservative, then I will be out of a job. So will some of my friends, like Harriet, Peter and of course Alistair.

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Sting, David Bowie, Elton John, Kristen Stewart And Freddie Mercury's Ghost Go Looking For Robert Pattinson On The Moon.

Funny story: Sting, David Bowie, Elton John, Kristen Stewart And Freddie Mercury's Ghost Go Looking For Robert Pattinson On The Moon.

When Robert Pattinson found himself stranded on the moon last week, he must have held out little hope of rescue, and even less hope of finding Dorothy hiding behind a wheelie bin over the rainbow. But thanks to advances in technology, and the incr...

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Kate Moss To Advertise Prunes

Funny story: Kate Moss To Advertise Prunes

Kate Moss, the celebrity super model, has been hired by the Prune Marketing Board-slogan "Prunes. A Weight Off Your Mind. She is to advertise prunes in a series of posters designed by Rolf Harris. Moss is to avoid using make up during these experi...

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Kim Kardashian Opts for Butt Implants after Butt Pad Malfunctions

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Opts for Butt Implants after Butt Pad Malfunctions

An embarrassed Kim Kardashian was in tears last week due to a major malfunction of one of the silicone butt pads she was wearing. She reportedly was so embarrassed by the occurrence that she has scheduled emergency plastic surgery to have butt implan...

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Sir Alex Ferguson swears he will only leave Old Trafford in a Black Box, horizontal!

Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson swears he will only leave Old Trafford in a Black Box, horizontal!

Sir Alex Ferguson has rubbished all reports that he will retire next year and has vowed only to leave Old Trafford in a "Black Box" and even then he will come back and haunt the place. Hopeful inheritors to his throne, Jose "The Chosen One" Mourin...

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Susan Boyle puts Another Brick in the Wall

Funny story: Susan Boyle puts Another Brick in the Wall

Hallelujah and Rejoice! - Susan Boyle fans are ecstatic at the news of their heroines new CD single. "Don't Fence Me In." They are even more wildly enthusiastic to see pictures of the foundations being laid for a wall and security fence round her new...

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Bankrupt Greece call on the 300 Spartans to save them!

Funny story: Bankrupt Greece call on the 300 Spartans to save them!

As a last desperate attempt to avoid bankruptcy the 300 Spartans have been recalled into action. In the Ampitheatre above Athens the 300 will take on all comers and fight to the last man. The Greek government hope to attract tourists from all o...

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Jesus Christ Shows Up for New Years

Funny story: Jesus Christ Shows Up for New Years

New York, January 2, 8010 - Jesus Christ appeared at Times Square during the New Years celebration, Decemeber 31, 7010. There was much anticipation as an estimated one million people showed up to hear him speak. Christ appeared at Times Square i...

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Iconic UK Journalist Despairs After Wife Sells Copyrighted Tag Line on E-Bay and Buys More Rabbits!

Funny story: Iconic UK Journalist Despairs After Wife Sells Copyrighted Tag Line on E-Bay and Buys More Rabbits!

'Sean' Skoob, respected journalist, avid futbol fan, bon vivant, adventuresome sailor and gourmet cook, ranked in the Journalism Hall of Fame amongst the greats Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite, was devastated after he found out his wife had sold...

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Designer to open clothes hire shop at County Courts

The luxury ladies clothes designer and outlet, Pranda, today announced plans to offer ladies clothes for hire in 5 County Courts starting on Monday. A spokeswoman said, "We see this as a natural extension of our business. As everyone knows, women...

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Luxury Liner Brings Plebs Back From Costas

Funny story: Luxury Liner Brings Plebs Back From Costas

The Luxury ocean going liner, Celebrity Eclipse, docked in Southampton yesterday, back from a mercy mission to pick up 2,000 Costa-loving plebs from Bilbao. Who had been left stranded by that volcano. You know the one. Anyway, not surprisingly,...

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Vatican lawyers 'laugh at' US lawsuit

Funny story: Vatican lawyers 'laugh at' US lawsuit

A lawsuit brought against Pope Benedict by an unnamed US man in Milwaukee was today the source of much merriment in the Vatican legal department. "I can't believe the naivety of this guy." laughed Paula Otherwun, a senior Vatican lawyer. "He genui...

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Nick Griffin in failed Face Transplant

Funny story: Nick Griffin in failed Face Transplant

Nick Griffin, of the Bloody Nasty Party, was recovering in hospital today after a total face transplant went horribly wrong. Griffin had intended to change his image in line with the BNP's push to make it less "scary" to the average person in the...

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Naomi Campbell In Charles Taylor Diamond Strop

Funny story: Naomi Campbell In Charles Taylor Diamond Strop

Old Naomi Campbell's been at it again, flying into a right old strop when a TV interviewer kept banging on and on wanting to know if Campbell had accepted the gift of a right big sparkler from Liberian war criminal Charles Taylor. Who ran a right...

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Blago Is Back Says "Barry is Toast!" Obama May Be Forced to Take 5th In Widening Scandal!

Funny story: Blago Is Back Says "Barry is Toast!" Obama May Be Forced to Take 5th In Widening Scandal!

In a breaking political scandal, observors are betting that the Chicago Politics that lofted Barry Obamsky to the Presidency, could be the same culture of corruption that exposes the entire Chicago Regime in Washington as a professional 'crime famil...

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Midsomer Murders She Wrote?

Funny story: Midsomer Murders She Wrote?

Finally 13 Years and Hundreds of Murders, The Police Send the "Detective Squad" into Midsomer, A Sleepy County north of Oxfordshire, DCI Barnaby has been killed, and now The Chief Superintendant for Midsomer has sent in his new secret weapon Eight of the Finest Detectives recruited from around the world to solve and sort out Midsomers Problems, Leading them is - Lt Coloumbo recruited from t...

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Fat Baby Born To Fat Parents

Funny story: Fat Baby Born To Fat Parents

An overweight woman in Doncaster has given birth to a fat baby. Her husband is also a chubby lardass. Sharon Needadiet, 35, gave birth to Harry by caesarian section because she was too large to fit on a normal operating table. Harry weighed in at 13l...

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Louise Minchin To Appear In PlayGent Magazine

Funny story: Louise Minchin To Appear In PlayGent Magazine

LONDON - Louise Minchin, the presenter on BBC News At One and BBC Breakfast has agreed to appear in an eight page layout spread in the United Kingdom's most popular men's magazine PlayGent. Minchin, caused quite a stir earlier this week when she w...

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Glenn Beck Found Naked, Confused Wandering Along Highway

Funny story: Glenn Beck Found Naked, Confused Wandering Along Highway

New Canaan, Connecticut - Fox Television and radio personality, Glenn Beck was found wandering along Merritt Parkway close to his home in New Canaan, Connecticut early Thursday morning around 2 a.m. He was naked and confused and muttering "don't frea...

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P.M. Wortham Makes Appearance at World's Largest Euchre Tournament

Funny story: P.M. Wortham Makes Appearance at World's Largest Euchre Tournament

With the Book of World's Records in attendance, P.M. Wortham, semi-famous hack spoof writer, will join thousands of others in an attempt to break the record for the world's largest Euchre tournament. Held in the Detroit area this coming weekend an...

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Kristen Stewart Ate My Baby Wabbit!

Funny story: Kristen Stewart Ate My Baby Wabbit!

Backlash. Wow! It seems like the stars of the Twilight saga are really being hammered by an internet hate campaign, probably launched by sad individuals who are sick and tired of hearing about Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner a...

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Mark Low Ton for John Lowe

Funny story: Mark Low Ton for John Lowe

One of the greatest Legends of Darts, and three times World Darts Champion, was John Lowe, who in his prime was such a good darts player that there used to be a saying when he threw his three darts, "Mark Low Ton" because he used to score regular to...

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Brown in Makeupgate Scandal!

Funny story: Brown in Makeupgate Scandal!

Prime Minister Gordon was this morning sensationally stripped of his 3rd place Bronze medal for his performance in last nights leaders debate after Scrutineers found that Lord Mandelson had written Love & You on Mr.Brown's eyelids! The Media a...

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GOP Attacks Wrong SEC

Funny story: GOP Attacks Wrong SEC

WASHINGTON -- Republicans stepped up their criticism of the SEC following unsubstantiated reports that senior employees spent hours surfing pornographic websites while they were supposed to be monitoring the U.S. financial system. Former U.S. Se...

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I Was Robert Pattinson's Sex Slave

Funny story: I Was Robert Pattinson's Sex Slave

Amazing claim by Leominster woman Dawn Crack surfaced on the internet two minutes ago. Sources say that Dawn Crack is a chubby bird with an eating disorder and 'issues'. Ms Crack claimed on a Vampire website that Robert Pattinson, under the guise...

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Camerons Big Society

Funny story: Camerons Big Society

David Cameron bigs up his big idea of a Big Society. What will that mean for the biggest bastards in Britain? Bigger profits for bigger, Tory sponsoring, big business. Then, bigger headaches for ever bigger unemployment queues. A bigger hole t...

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Robbie Williams song banned by radio stations

Funny story: Robbie Williams song banned by radio stations

The latest Robbie Williams song, 'She's a B*tch', has been banned by all UK radio stations. A spokeswoman for UK Radio Panel said,"This song is entirely unacceptable. It's lyrics might possibly imply negative things about a woman and Mr Williams s...

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Local Man 'Changed' To Death

Funny story: Local Man 'Changed' To Death

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was today forced to consult his GP suffering from lassitude, brain fag, inertia, mild depression, melancholia, morbidity, blinding headaches, panic attacks, anxiety, blistered feet and acute diarrhoea. With some sligh...

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'Suferin Sucatash' Yosemite Sam Dies at 101

Funny story: 'Suferin Sucatash' Yosemite Sam Dies at 101

The real Yosemite Sam passed away on April 21st in his Death Valley, California home. Sam Ruse was the model for the Warner Brother's cartoon character, of the same name, and lived his life like you would imagine; charging about the desert with pu...

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Marriage Terrorist for Hire

Funny story: Marriage Terrorist for Hire

A New York mother who had engaged in terrorist like activity in an attempt to break up her son's impending nuptials, has announced that she will be turning pro next month. Real estate developer and overbearing mom, Lia Joseph, had done her level b...

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Saint George Was Turkish Shocker - Kebab Shop Connection Established

Funny story: Saint George Was Turkish Shocker - Kebab Shop Connection Established

Shock news indeed for patriotic Englishmen today, April 23rd - St George's Day - St George was a Turk, the son of a Roman soldier, and it has further been established that he never attended a football match with a George cross draped around his his s...

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Tiger Woods's new golf bag deemed 'illegal' and 'disgusting'

Funny story: Tiger Woods's new golf bag deemed 'illegal' and 'disgusting'

World number one, two and three golfer, Tiger Woods has been forced to go back to the traditional golf bag after the World Golfing Federation deemed his golf bag not only illegal, but disgusting. With Woods's wife, Elin Nordegren, not wanting him...

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Kristen Stewart wants to be Dorothy

Funny story: Kristen Stewart wants to be Dorothy

Kristen Stewart wants to be Dorothy, in the Wizard of Oz, but has no chance of that happening in the West End Musical, in London, that is being done by Andrew Lloyd Webber, the weirdest man that ever appeared on television. Thousands of girls orig...

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Fergie: I'm Going Nowhere!

Funny story: Fergie: I'm Going Nowhere!

An elderly gentleman was led from a Manchester bar late last night, shouting "I'm going nowhere, you hear me? Nowhere!" Passers by watched as the inebriated senior citizen was led to a waiting taxi. He frequently tried to escape his helpers and k...

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Government drops voting age to zero

Funny story: Government drops voting age to zero

In a desperate attempt to attract new voters, the Government has decided to allow babies and young children to vote as well. Ballot papers will be posted through the vagina of pregnant women along with election communication to allow babies to co...

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Gordon Brown makes pre-teen pregnant

Following the release of the latest annual increase in pre-teen and teenage pregnancies, Les Byon, spokeswoman for the Teenage Pregnancy Reduction Unit blamed Gordon Brown for the increase. "It's his fault.", Ms Byon said, "He got them pregnant.

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Rafa Benitez To Sign Top Lawyers

Funny story: Rafa Benitez To Sign Top Lawyers

Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez has announced that he is to sign a team of top lawyers in a bid to help Liverpool to qualify for the Champions League. Unhappy at refereeing decisions which have gone against his side all season, Benitez has decided to sue...

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Larry King Hits on Sarah Palin: Wife & Mistress 'Not Happy!'

Funny story: Larry King Hits on Sarah Palin: Wife & Mistress 'Not Happy!'

Larry King, now batting 0-8 in the game of Marriage, tried to battle out of his slump by attempting to introduce a player into his line up in the form of Right Handed Hard Hitting Slugger and all around 'gamer' Sarah Palin. The desperate 76 year...

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Shoesmith legally given the Boot in Baby P case

Funny story: Shoesmith legally given the Boot in Baby P case

Sharon Shoesmith was legally given the boot according to a ruling at the High Court today. Shoesmith had gone to court over unfair dismissal but the Judge, Mr Justice Fecket, sorry Foskett rejected Shoesmith's claim and agreed she should have got the...

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Hollywood urgently needs writers

Funny story: Hollywood urgently needs writers

Hollywood urgently needs writers as all we seem to be getting is remakes of Movies, Alice In Wonderland, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Planet of The Apes, The War of The Worlds, Clash of The Titans etc etc. Of all remakes there has never been a s...

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Bagpuss Tormented By Porn Film Past

Funny story: Bagpuss Tormented By Porn Film Past

Popular children's television star Bagpuss has revealed a dark secret. He was once the star of some pornographic films. The films were made in the early 1960s, before Bagpuss became a television star. In those days he was just a saggy, baggy cloth ca...

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U.S. Bio Fuel Warplane Smells Like Cabbage Fart

Funny story: U.S. Bio Fuel Warplane Smells Like Cabbage Fart

Unveiling a new series of alternatively fueled war planes yesterday, the U.S. Department of Defense announced a major shift in policy, converting its entire fleet of naval and air combat assets to renewable bio-fuels. "It seems a bit hypocritical"...

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Susan Boyle: beware they are coming

Funny story: Susan Boyle: beware they are coming

Lothian and Borders Police in Scotland are currently discussing contingency plans following reports from fansites that the Susan Boyle fanatics intend "to walk a lot." Blackburn, West Lothian is now preparing for an invasion of multinational Susan...

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Knights Templar And King Arthur Attend BNP Manifesto Launch On St George's Day

Funny story: Knights Templar And King Arthur Attend BNP Manifesto Launch On St George's Day

Nick Griffin today announced the much awaited BNP election manifesto, and he wheeled out the big guns of his core support in retaliation for not being invited to the party leaders piss up in Bristol. Mr Griffin put the emphasis on the economy, say...

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"No Way France Will Win World Cup Without Cheating" Says Platini

Funny story: "No Way France Will Win World Cup Without Cheating" Says Platini

Michel Platini, former French football star and now UEFA President, has written off France's chances of winning the world cup. He expects them to get through the first round, but further progress will be unlikely, unless they cheat. "We had to che...

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"I Work At the SEC, and I Like To Party"

Funny story: "I Work At the SEC, and I Like To Party"

Several recent news reports have unveiled a little known employment benefit at the Securities and Exchange Commission. Regardless of boom or bust conditions in the banking industry or in the open stock market, you can apparently surf porn sites at yo...

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First Full-Arse Transplant A Success Say Doctors

Funny story: First Full-Arse Transplant A Success Say Doctors

The world's first full arse transplant has taken place at a hospital in Arcelona. Over thirty medics worked for twenty four hours to give a new arse to a lucky patient. The man was thought to have been a former swimming pool cleaner who had suffer...

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'Fourth Protocol' raid suspected in Dr Liam Fox burglary

Funny story: 'Fourth Protocol' raid suspected in Dr Liam Fox burglary

London - (Spooks): Was a recent UK TV airing of the cold war spy movie 'The Fourth Protocol' the inspiration behind a burglary at shadowy Tory defence secretary Liam Fox's home? Police reports have said the break-in at the South East London home i...

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Mr Ed says Fibs And Flannel

Funny story: Mr Ed says Fibs And Flannel

At Beverley racecourse yesterday in the 4.40 there was a horses called FIBS AND FLANNEL running. Mr Ed the only talking horse was advising everybody to back FIBS AND FLANNEL on the same day as one of those boring leaders debates featuring the three h...

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Boris Johnson will take all the immigrants no one else wants

Funny story: Boris Johnson will take all the immigrants no one else wants

Mayor of London, Boris Johnson wants the sad and oppressed immigrants to come to London. Looking for cheap labour anywhere he can find it, he has earmarked 50,000 manual jobs at the Olympic site for his immigrants. He has secured living accommodat...

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Brown tells Clegg to Get Real because Clegg does not want him to be PM

Funny story: Brown tells Clegg to Get Real because Clegg does not want him to be PM

The unelected Scottish Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, finally lost it last night on TV. He had learned earlier in the day that the LibDems would only seek a cosy deal with Labour if "that gormless twat Brown" is evicted from no 10 Downing Street.

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Robert Pattinson wants to know what's over the Rainbow

Funny story: Robert Pattinson wants to know what's over the Rainbow

Robert Pattinson wants to know what is over the Rainbow after he saw a Rainbow, in the Sky, on the same day he heard that Robert Downey Jnr, is to get the part of the Wizard of Oz, in a new Wizard of Oz, Movie, that's to be made. Pattinson said...

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BNP Launch Confusing Manifesto

Funny story: BNP Launch Confusing Manifesto

The British Nasty Party, also known as the BNP, have launched their manifesto and confused voters completely. The manifesto was lauded as a triumph of political architecture by it's author, Sick Griffin. Speaking from inside his shimmeringly white...

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Quantum broadband sparks creationists animal cruelty row

Funny story: Quantum broadband sparks creationists animal cruelty row

Japanese technology giants Toshiba are reported to have cracked the problem of quantum broadband by transmitting encrypted data at over 1 megabit per second along 50 kilometres of optical fibre. "The link is so secure it is 'theoretically' unbreak...

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Britney's Father sick of Brit's nips

Funny story: Britney's Father sick of Brit's nips

Britney Spears father has told her to 'Bra up' and stop showing those puppy dogs noses of hers. Brit' has burnt all her bras and taken to 'popping out' and treating us all to the 'finer points' of her new body. Her father said 'There's no need to...

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Store Wars - Episode Two - Attack of the Chaka

Funny story: Store Wars - Episode Two - Attack of the Chaka

The Supermarket Chain, ASDA has successfully been taken over by the formerly mysterious consortium, CNN News can now reveal who the mystery Shareholder is Legendary Disco Diva and all round Bodacious Babe, Chaka Khan has purchased 64% of the share...

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Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart in General Election Sensation

Funny story: Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart in General Election Sensation

A Market Research company has discovered that Robert Pattinson, or Kristen Stewart, would win in an election if they stood against Brown,Cameron, & Clegg, and if the poll was taken only for the 18-25 years of age group they would win by a landsli...

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Falling for the three card trick

Does the newest political double act of Cleggy and Cable really have any sound policies or is the latest pair of warbling Libdem wannabes just telling the public what they want to hear and hiding their true colours? Can you imagine what life would be like if they were fortunate enough to gain power? If you think that the present system of taxation is horrendous then think again. We are after all s...

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Televised Leaders Debate in Spotlight

Funny story: Televised Leaders Debate in Spotlight

The latest in the series of televised leaders debates has reignited the controversy surrounding the televising of leaders debates. This latest debate only served to remind all those members of both the press and the public that the medium of tele...

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Cheryl Cole, Sarah Harding, and Pixie Lott To Star In "The British Birds" The Story of Petula Clark, Marianne Faithfull, and Cilla Black

Funny story: Cheryl Cole, Sarah Harding, and Pixie Lott To Star In "The British Birds" The Story of Petula Clark, Marianne Faithfull, and Cilla Black

LONDON - Famed motion picture producer Duffy Bayou-Gauche has just announced that he will soon start production on the film The British Birds, which is the true story of British female singers Petula Clark, Marianne Faithfull, and Cilla Black. Bay...

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Sandra Bullock Makes A Strong Statement About Effen Tattoos

Funny story: Sandra Bullock Makes A Strong Statement About Effen Tattoos

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Sandra Bullock has remarked that she will never ever again date a man who has even one freakin' tattoo. The winner of this years Academy Award for Best Actress stated that she has learned her lesson and learned it well. She state...

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Election 2010: Bun fight in second leaders' debate

Funny story: Election 2010: Bun fight in second leaders' debate

The jelly came out in the second prime ministerial debate as Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg clashed over having affairs. In camp exchanges, the three leaders crashed handbags on Europe, weight loss, tax, nuclear weapons and the new Vae...

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Friend of Jesse James Suggests That The Number of Cycle Chicks is Actually 11

Funny story: Friend of Jesse James Suggests That The Number of Cycle Chicks is Actually 11

LONG BEACH - Jesse James, sitting in his Long Beach, California office of West Coast Choppers, revealed to an unnamed source that an alleged very close friend of his has confessed that the number of Cycle Chicks in his "TattooGate" scandal is actuall...

Read full story View 'Friend of Jesse James Suggests That The Number of Cycle Chicks is Actually 11'

Lipton Files Suit Against Tea Party Activists

Funny story: Lipton Files Suit Against Tea Party Activists

BOSTON, Massachusetts - Facing a double digit drop in sales, the boiling-mad chief executive of America's predominant tea purveyor has filed a suit aimed at tea party protesters on the grounds of misrepresentation. Craig Lipton said his family sta...

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