"No Way France Will Win World Cup Without Cheating" Says Platini

Written by Earl Grey

Friday, 23 April 2010

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A cheese eating surrender monkey

Michel Platini, former French football star and now UEFA President, has written off France's chances of winning the world cup. He expects them to get through the first round, but further progress will be unlikely, unless they cheat.

"We had to cheat just to qualify. Without Thierry Henry's double-handball we might not have made it. He is going to have to commit more such transgressions if we are going to win. Cheating is the only way. Obviously, as President of UEFA, I am completely unbiased and will not seek to influence any outcomes in France's favour."

The French are still trying to shake off the reputation for cheating, which they earned during their victory in the play off against Ireland. Henry's handball incident has led to claims that Platini is conspiring to influence the decisions of match referees. He denies everything.

"Not at all. Those match officials just happened to be holidaying in St Tropez after the match. That was nothing to do with me. My hands are clean. Unlike Henry."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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