Simon Cowell just gets richer

Written by Nae mair crap

Friday, 23 April 2010

image for Simon Cowell just gets richer
hitting the jackpot every time

Simon Cowell is reported today as being even more rich than he was last year.

Financial analysts attribute his massive excess in his pounds and dollars collection hobby to his share of the profits from artistes such as Leona Lewis and Susan Boyle. They expect the millions to tumble in this year as his reality show songstresses build on their already fabulous success stories.

However, he has branched out into the personal improvement book market to add to his already impressive portfolio of blockbusters.

Following the success of his " How to wear your trousers (pants for the US market) too high and not strangle your dangly bits", he has co authored other best sellers.

"Sparkly white teeth and mouth hygiene" is outselling all other oral guidebooks and "How to insult without trying" has become the must have in put down coffee table tomes for arrogant snobs.

"Ant and Dec are chavs but are cheap comperes" has drawn no criticism and has been released to rave revues by readers of the "quality newspapers", while, "Better than thespoof, my rags to riches voyage" ghost written by Susan Boyle is in the running for the "Pressure, what pressure, feel good society" award 2010.

Simon has explained that he copyrighted the "I am among friends, am I not" phrase before giving it as a catchy oneliner gift to Miss Boyle. This copyright has netted him millions from youtube exposure.

An explosive, new, risque series of books provisionally titled " Piers Morgan, the big lump of lard, cholesterol free cooking" will feature PM as he mugs his way through world cuisine searching for a solution to his fat belly problem. Pictures of the erstwhile newspaper editor and current reality show "expert" in sailing apparel are said to be shocking and explicit.

Another million pound earner for Simon on the cards.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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