Troubled star Britney Spear's life has sunk to such depths that she has contacted Russell Grant.
The astrologer said, 'I got an email from Britney Spears office. Apparently she wants a reading. I need to check out its validity.' He then disappeared for five minutes before coming back and saying, 'gee, yes, my horoscope this morning did say 'you will be contacted by a famous American fuck-up. This will bring you yet more potential for publicity, should you choose to make the poor woman's suffering public.'
He went on to read the rest which said, 'you will wrestle with your conscience over this for about three seconds before calling the Spoof-Sun. Hey,' he lifted his head from the page, 'where did you guys say you were from?'
The Spoof-Sun obviously let him know.
'Brilliant,' the Kitchen Burnout star said, 'it's always good to know astrology really does work.'
The fucked-up star, who has two sons by her former husband Kevin Federline, has previously approached Grant for advice. A source said: "Britney has asked Russell for readings in the past and things have worked out so well for her she wanted to go back".
Many scientists are skeptical about astrology, saying it doesn't work. For example, Ivan Kelly, some boffin, who writes boffiny articles said it has no relevance as it 'cannot account for the underlying basis of astrological associations with terrestrial affairs.' Since these words were a bit too big for the Spoof-Sun, we went back to Russell grant to ask for his opinion.
'Well, I think what happened to day proves it, don't you?'
It's hard to argue with that.