Britney in new low: contacts Russell Grant

Written by Fergie73

Friday, 23 April 2010

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Britney in new low: contacts Russell Grant
Russell Grant pictured yesterday

Troubled star Britney Spear's life has sunk to such depths that she has contacted Russell Grant.

The astrologer said, 'I got an email from Britney Spears office. Apparently she wants a reading. I need to check out its validity.' He then disappeared for five minutes before coming back and saying, 'gee, yes, my horoscope this morning did say 'you will be contacted by a famous American fuck-up. This will bring you yet more potential for publicity, should you choose to make the poor woman's suffering public.'

He went on to read the rest which said, 'you will wrestle with your conscience over this for about three seconds before calling the Spoof-Sun. Hey,' he lifted his head from the page, 'where did you guys say you were from?'

The Spoof-Sun obviously let him know.

'Brilliant,' the Kitchen Burnout star said, 'it's always good to know astrology really does work.'

The fucked-up star, who has two sons by her former husband Kevin Federline, has previously approached Grant for advice. A source said: "Britney has asked Russell for readings in the past and things have worked out so well for her she wanted to go back".

Many scientists are skeptical about astrology, saying it doesn't work. For example, Ivan Kelly, some boffin, who writes boffiny articles said it has no relevance as it 'cannot account for the underlying basis of astrological associations with terrestrial affairs.' Since these words were a bit too big for the Spoof-Sun, we went back to Russell grant to ask for his opinion.

'Well, I think what happened to day proves it, don't you?'

It's hard to argue with that.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more