Knights Templar And King Arthur Attend BNP Manifesto Launch On St George's Day

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Friday, 23 April 2010


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The Union Hi-Jack-Ed

Nick Griffin today announced the much awaited BNP election manifesto, and he wheeled out the big guns of his core support in retaliation for not being invited to the party leaders piss up in Bristol.

Mr Griffin put the emphasis on the economy, saying that by withdrawing from alliances - both political and military - with everybody, we'd save a tidy few bob. He demanded the return of all British troops and said that we should allow Afghanistan and Iran to get on with it.

On immigration, he stressed that the subject comprised only a small proportion of the manifesto, because all we have to do is get rid of everybody in the country who doesn't satisfy BNP criteria. Especially criminals, illegals, and people who wear funny clothes and haggle in markets.

There was also a promise to make prisoners work in jail, and get them to install high speed broadband in rural communities, a bit like the old American chain-gangs. He pointed out that country folk would probably welcome crowds of urban villains into their communities with open arms, and probably help a few of them to escape too.

Standing behind Mr Griffin, in full regalia, Oliver Shorthouse, a fully fledged Knight Templar from Hanley blamed sheer stupidity for the global financial crisis and promised that the Templars would soon get things back on track. Adding that the BNP is the only way forward before running off shreiking that he'd seen a mouse.

King Arthur, he of the Round Table, looking frail and tired gave Mr Griffin the thumbs up and mumbled something about Spam not being the same as it used to be.

Asked about his chances in the forthcoming election, Mr Griffin said that as long as the poor and disenfranchised turned out to vote on election day in their tens of thousands, he was pretty confident.

Look out for the sparks. They will fly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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