Naomi Campbell, The Mean Daffy Diva Is At It Again

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 23 April 2010

image for Naomi Campbell, The Mean Daffy Diva Is At It Again
A photo of Naomi Campbell (L) taken when she was working as a motel maid in Streatham, London, England.

NEW YORK CITY - Naomi Campbell has got to be one of the most conceited, arrogant, self-centered bitches in the history of bitches.

The London born black woman can make the ex-quintessential prima donna Madonna look like sweet little country singing Taylor Swift.

The 39-year-old Campbell has been know to reportedly strike people who are employed by her such as maids, cooks, gardeners, chauffeurs, masseuses, palm readers, and bikini waxers.

Naomi really needs to come up against the likes of someone like Courtney Love who will easily tear the colored chick a new one quicker than she can say "Sey what?".

Campbell prides herself in saying that she is British. Well truth be told the 5 foot 9 African skank is about as British as Chief Sitting Bull of the Hunkpapa Lakota Sioux, a name which many say is exactly what Naomi is when she is sitting down; Sitting Bull.

Arrogant Illustrated Magazine, which is the world's leading publication on arrogant people, has named Campbell, the Most Arrogant Person of the Past Decade.

In her most recent outburst. Campbell was being interviewed by a reporter for ABC News. She was asked about the expensive red blood diamond that was given to her by African dictator Moombaba Salafafa Gagahaha, aka Charles Taylor.

Campbell turned somewhat white, or actually dark gray to be more exact. She proceeded to ignore the question. The reporter asked the question again. Campbell tossed her hot coffee in the reporter's face. She then stood up and reportedly hit the reporter with a drinking straw, a quarter, and a McDonald's McNugget.

After calling the reporter several vulgar and wile names including the "B" word, the "C" word, and the "P" word, she stormed away from the interviewers table but not before she had spat at the cameraman, the microphone man, and an innocent passerby who was watching her while eating a Snickers Bar.

For the past year, it has been reported that Campbell has become extremely bitter for three reasons. One she has developed some big time cellulite on her humongous black ass that makes her HBA look like half of the moon's surface.

Two, NC has found out that three ex-boyfriends have told the International Inquirer that her G-spot is really more like a G-blob, which is roughly about 10 times the size of a normal G-spot.

And third. The word on the street is that 'Foamy' Naomi has reversed nipples. In other words her left nipple is on her right drooper (melon) and her right nipple is on her left melon (drooper).

Medical experts report that this is a medical affliction that only occurs once in every 18 million pairs of jungle jugs.

In other news. The rumor circulating throughout Pakistan that Osama Bin Laden wants to meet Sandra Bullock are totally false. Bin Laden wants to meet Shawn Southwick, Mrs. Larry King.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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