Written by Earl Grey

Friday, 23 April 2010

image for Bagpuss Tormented By Porn Film Past
"I've got to do what to Emily?!"

Popular children's television star Bagpuss has revealed a dark secret. He was once the star of some pornographic films. The films were made in the early 1960s, before Bagpuss became a television star. In those days he was just a saggy, baggy cloth cat and Emily was his porno co star.

Bagpuss has decided to reveal his past shame after the News of the World contacted him. "I was really shocked that they found out. It was a long time ago. I needed the money. I am ashamed about the things I did with Emily. It was dirty and degrading. However, what was a cat supposed to do? I had to feed myself. This business is great when you are at the top, but when you are at the bottom it is a shit business."

Bagpuss now hopes that he can enjoy his retirement in peace. "The last thing I need is to have these squalid flicks turning up on the internet. I just want to be left alone. Please respect my wishes."

Emily was unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Pornography, Bagpuss




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