Taylor Lautner To Star In Wild New Movie Between Movies
After starring in a record-breaking movie as a werewof, what do you do between that one and the next episode that will probably break the present record? That's what Taylor Lautner is up against, or should we say, WAS up against. Rumor has it...
Read full storyFoxy Knoxy Makes Personal Cry For Help To Italian President Berlusconi
Convicted killer, Amanda Knox, today made a personal appeal to Italian President Silvio Berlusconi (Who once got out of a car within yards of this reporter in Rome and totally ignored him). The response to the appeal from media mogul and AC Milan...
Read full storyFurlough Days Could Harm Slacker Economy, Increase Workplace Violence
New York - The increase in furloughs, which are unpaid days off from the job, could have a negative effect on the economy overall, says a new report. Furlough days, which have been used in lieu of layoffs by government and private companies, have cre...
Read full storyVenus Williams slams 'badassed horny muthaputta' Tiger
Palm Beach, Fla - (Hawkeye): "Ju-ju hex on Tiger's manhood?" top US women's tennis pro Venus Williams raged today. "Ya kiddin? "Like his dork's got some kinda life all its own when Elin ain't lookin? "Gimme a break, the guy's a walking ere...
Read full storyGlobal Warming - The Real Cause
Renowned Global Climate change Professor and scientist Ima Indeniyal, Spoke out today before heading to the Copingwithhagen summit on climate change. He said that the "Whole climate change thing was brought about not, by as some "credible scientis...
Read full storyParis Hilton To Address Copenhagen Climate Change Summit
Paris Hilton, the heiress and full time party girl (in every way) today hit back at critics who complained that she wasn't qualified to comment on the issue of global warming and climate change at the Copenhagen summit. "I honestly don't understan...
Read full storyTiger Woods Plans To Move To Iceland Where It's Not So Gosh Darn Cold!
ORLANDO, Florida - The most famous golfer in the history of golf has just told his manager Upton Courtquist that he wants for him to look into purchasing a home in Iceland. Tiger Woods reportedly told Courtquist that he has a feeling that this is...
Read full storyTop 10 Things a Husband Can Do to Wreck the Mood
Some women friends who follow an occasional Spoof from yours truly, including one Mrs. PM, suggested that I write a mia-culpa edition of the Top 10 list about things us down-trodden, often misunderstood males do to wreck the mood with our ladies. Consider this a parallel piece to the "Top 10 Things a Wife can do to Wreck a Boner". In short, to all the lady Spoofers out there, My apologies on b...
Read full storyThe Spoof Club; Part Ei8ht
The Kidnapping of J-Man's Teddy Bear The news came fast and furious in the form of e-mail and text messages from the American Southwest. Before anyone knew what the real story was, or who might be to blame, e-mail begat e-mail until prompting an information frenzy based loosely and only on theory and conjecture. All that any of us knew for sure, was that the Jalapeno Man's prize teddy bear, t...
Read full storyChaz Bono To Star As Both Parents In "The Sonny And Cher Story"
HOLLYWOOD - Transsexual Chaz Bono has just signed to star in the motion picture The Story of Sonny and Cher. Mr. Chaz Bono, formerly Miss Chastity Bono will play both the part of her/his father and her/his mother. Chaz who recently underwent s...
Read full storyYank Murderess' appeal sparks outrage!
The Italian Government reacted with righteous indignation today as a war of words broke out with the USA over the Amanda Knox deviant sex murder trial. The Italian Prosecutors in the case were outraged that their decisions and the processes of the...
Read full storyConspiracy Theorists: Shutting Down UFO Hotline Sends Wrong Message to Terrorists
London, UK - Conspiracy theorists and anti-terror diehards have called on the Parliament to reinstate the UFO hotline or else risk sending the wrong message to terrorists and extraterrestrials. "Terrorists will read this and see that the UK is no...
Read full storyCrasher Michaele Salahi Claims to Have Been Cause of Tiger's Crash
Augusta, GA - Michaele Salahi, the female half of the White House Crasher Couple, has joined the chorus of women claiming to have had an affair with Tiger Woods. Wood's marital infidelities came to light after he crashed his car on his street at two...
Read full storyX-Factor - Ousted Danyl Johnson Flatly Denies One Starring Spoof Story
X-Factor's losing semi finalist Danyl Johnson today vehemently denied one-starring a Spoof article revealing that a leak to the press revealed that Joe McElderry was destined to win the competition. "I never one-starred no stupid Spoof story," Dan...
Read full storyClimate Summit in Denmark creates too much "Hot Air" now the North Pole is melting even quicker!
The "Hot Air" caused by too much BLA, BLA-ING, at the global Climate Summit in Denmark has caused the atmosphere to suddenly heat up even quicker. There's so much BLA, BLA, BLA, going on between delegates that the "hot air" rising above Copenhagen...
Read full storyCopenhagen Climate Meeting "A Conspiracy"
World leaders are gathering this week in Copenhagen to discuss and hopefully agree on plans to combat the threat of climate change. Or are they? To sceptical self-promoting writer Lord Timothy McTim, the answer is most definitely no. He called cou...
Read full storyNew 'Wii Wank' Game Released
(Defecated News) The race to be the year's favourite toy is an important one for parents, but more so for the manufacturers and retailers with almost 30% of typical annual turnover coming from the festive season alone. An entertainment company has l...
Read full storyO' Halloran: Murder with a Capital Punishment - SALVATION
All Chapters: Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8|Part 9 SALVATION: You have chosen SALVATION. But did you make the correct choice? As the string quartet launch into a classical version of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's classic 'Two Tribes' the French midget crawls up onto the scaffold using just his tongue. O' Halloran wonders why he didn't just kill the bastard wh...
Read full storyO' Halloran: Murder with a Capital Punishment - DEATH
All Chapters: Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8|Part 9 DEATH: You have chosen DEATH. But did you make the correct choice? The French midget crawls up onto the scaffold using just his tongue. O' Halloran wonders why he didn't just kill the bastard when he had the chance back at Doris' house rather than releasing him. That was a bit stupid, wasn't it? Anyhow… "So...
Read full storyO' Halloran: Murder with a Capital Punishment - Part 9
All Chapters: Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8 Part 9 Jesus Christ, this fucking story is dragging on, innit?!! Right, let's move this sucka along before I die of monotony… O' Halloran stands in the courtyard before the Bastille. "This is it, Doris. There's no turning back" He takes one last look at Doris before dropping his pants, pulling out his todge...
Read full storyChinese make 12 million cars, a world record, now all they have to do is build some roads!
The Chinese are breaking all global industrial/production records, they spent $17,5 billion just to clean Bejing up for the Olympics! They are also forging ahead on all industrial fronts, air/water pollution, enforced shanty town clearances, flood...
Read full storyThe Black Eyed Peas Say Robert Pattinson's Black Eye Is Nothing To Do With Them
A spokesman for The Black Eyed Peas tonight denied that the band had anything to do with Twilight star Robert Pattinson's 'alleged' black eye. "If he's got a black eye, it was nothing to do with the band," the spokesman told us. "Just because they...
Read full storySex Talk By Parents Coming Too Late, Like After Honeymoon
The sex talk is never easy. It's uncomfortable for everyone involved as parents are afraid to attempt it and children are mortified by it. But a new survey says that many parents are doing it too late. "Mostly, they wait until the kids get married...
Read full storyNo Room Left In Osama bin Ladens's Cave
(Information received by word of mouth via the north Pakistan grapevine) - Osama bin Laden's cave has become crowded beyond capacity due to President Obama's decision to send an additional 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan. Every Taliban member n...
Read full storyGermans descend from Cannibals, it's true!
A dark secret about the Germans has now been scientifically proven, they descend from Neolithic cannibals! After discovering chewed on bones from the Neolithic era in Southern Germany leading anthropologist, Professor Frank N Stein, revealed that...
Read full story"Tiger Girl" Jamie Grubbs To Show Off In PlayGuy Magazine
CHICAGO - Ashby Wilt Cashcloud the agent for Tiger Woods 'lady friend' Jamie Grubbs, has just stated that his client has agreed to do a PlayGuy Magazine layout. The stunning 24-year-old blonde reportedly said that she has been thinking about showc...
Read full storyTiger Considers Full Tearful Confession On Oprah
In order to reclaim his squeaky clean image, and preserve his considerable fortune, advisors have told Tiger Woods to go on the Oprah show, with wife Elin, and make a full confession, with real tears, and profuse apologies. It's a risky strategy,...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Says She Knows Nothing About Affair
A much confused Taylor Swift, Country music star supreme at the present time and causing some jealously in those that preceded her in that role, says she knows nothing about any affair concerning a theft before her Nashville concert. The "Theft"...
Read full storyReal Vampire Almost Ruined Twilight Movie, Series.
Apparently among the young people of the Twilight filming was a real vampire, disguised as a prop. Immediately after the filming, Nosferatu, made his way out, unknown until someone asked the question, "Where's that extra coffin used in the first half...
Read full storyKate Gosselin's New Book: The Story of King Kate - The Real Reasons Why I Cannot Get A Date
TUCSON - Kate Gosselin of the cancelled reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8 was in town at The Book 'Em Danno Book Store. She is on her western leg of her book signing tour for her new book, The Story of King Kate - The Real Reasons Why I Cannot Get...
Read full storyUS Used Skin Off Dead Iraqis For Leather Shoes
(Defecated News) The US government has admitted that under the instruction of former president George W Bush, bodies of killed Iraqi fighters were used to make shoes. The process called 'Shoe-Skinning' was started under the order of General Fellat...
Read full storySharia Law will help the NHS save money, and reduced taxes.
(Defecated News) Old Labour back in the day when they were socialists, created the NHS as a fair way to allow poor lazy people to get free treatment off the back of hard-working tax-payers. It worked well. The poor sponged off the state and got every...
Read full storyHere Comes Cori Rist - Yet Another One of Tiger's Gal Pals
BROOKLYN - Tiger Woods first met Cori Rist at Butterballs a very exclusive men's club located at 69th and Libido. The 33-year old blonde (blonde what a surprise) said that when her and the Tiger first made eye contact she knew that it would not be...
Read full storyTiger Pleads Insanity Defense in Blond Babes Sex Scandal
Tiger Woods has made an initial plea in his sex scandal case. His representatives from the lesbian lawyers guild entered a plea of temporary insanity to all 6,941 known cases of marital infidelity to date. Stating "impossibility of performance" his...
Read full storyCori Rist or Cori List in new Tiger shagging twist?
New York - (Labia Babe): "Cori List? Hahaha. That's just an anagram of clitoris. Go figure!" the anonymous blonde gal-about-town told LA FagHagSlagMag reporters today. Ms List blames a Japanese celeb-watch site for the accidental miss-spelling...
Read full storyLiquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear
A new Las Vegas entertainment establishment, couples some of America's favorite pastimes with the addition of prostitution services. The combination of alcohol and playing cards, mixed with the offering of personal sexual services has proven to be a...
Read full storyToilet Seat Controversy Erupts at Women's Conference
Chosen as the number three platform discussion for last week's National Organization for Women conference, legislation is being proposed making it illegal to leave any toilet seat in the upright position. Sparking division among the N.O.W. constit...
Read full storyBerlusconi OK's Conjugal Visits For Amanda Knox: Guess Who's On Her Wish List?
Italy's Priapic President, Silvio Berlusconi showed a sense of humanity today when he authorized the reactivation of conjugal visits for convicted murderess Amanda Knox. Knox, who had been imprisoned for over two years while Italian Justice played...
Read full storyEngland Football Squad May Take Viagra.
Managers have vehemently denied prescribing viagra for the England world cup squad ahead of South Africa 2010. The news was leaked from HQ. The lads will be training 5000ft above sea level at Rustenburg, and officials are worried the thinner air w...
Read full storyBreathing Causes Global Warming
In a shock announcement tonight scientists from the University of Pointless Studies (Cambridge) have managed to dispel the rumor that the major cause of CO2 in our atmosphere is due to cars, air travel or even cows It's us! By breathing in and...
Read full storyCopenhagen home design conference begins
Copenhagen, Denmark. About twenty seven thousand people have gathered here today to talk about ways to improve home interior design. Experts from 56 countries have released a green paper on combating poor roofing insulation and pointed to ways in whi...
Read full storyRevealed: real reason for climate summit in Copenhagen.
The Chairman of the climate change summit being held in Copenhagen, Mr Atim O'Sphere, has reiterated that the summit is being held there for purely sensible reasons only, and to suggest otherwise would be tantamount to treason. At a press conferen...
Read full storyElin Nordegren "I feed MY Tiger with rat meat, it makes me feel good!!"
Tiger Woods Kitchen, Orange County, Florida: In this exclusive interview with Elin Nordegren, Spoofy Doofy was able to gain access to the Tiger Woods household and interview his wife Elin Nordegren. Having been to some war zones around the world...
Read full storyAdvert to Make Sense
(Cadder news) In an astounding press release tonight we have just heard that car manufacturer and perfume house are going to combine forces and for once to make a TV advert that actually makes sense. The startling new ad will be screened over thre...
Read full storyFly Obama Airways!
Tired of supposedly being the most powerful man in the world? Fed up with doing nothing for month after month except for making short meaningless speeches to fill up the news? Then why not take an air cruise with Obama Airways, the world's newest airline. Marvel as your jet flies all the way to England, where you can relax for a day in London, relax as nobody has the slightest interest in who y...
Read full storyGordon Brown Promises to End Global Warming
After a furious and noisy meeting in Copenhagen we can reveal tonight that Gordon Brown has agreed to end global warming by sitting down. It has been reported tonight that in rather heated exchanges between Gordon Brown and the rest of known human...
Read full storyPensioners - 'At Greater Risk Of Dying Than Youths'
FRINTON-ON-SEA (Defecated News) - Soft cardigans, wide shoes and incontinence. That's what most of us think of when we imagine old folk. But now, socio-economico-physiologists tell us, death is what is in store for these citizens. A recent report...
Read full storyCancer - 'Bad For You'
LONDON (Defecated News) - The country's leading oncologists and pharmaceutical companies have completed research which appears to indicate that cancer is bad for you. For years many of us have enjoyed the pleasures of cancer through smoking, drugs...
Read full storyMan Executed in Saudi Made 'Boobies' Out Of Sand
SAUDI ARABIA (Defecated News) - A British man was executed last night after a failed last minute bid by diplomats and ministers to have him set free. Tony Hart (18) of Birmingham was arrested last week after Saudi police responded to locals who compl...
Read full storyPaparazzi Captures Katie Holmes 'Au Naturale'
NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - The pleasures of stardom - adoring fans, being fucking minted but still getting free meals, and tax evasion. No one has enjoyed these more than vertically challenged 'alleged gay' actor Tom Cruise. But for his wife and mot...
Read full storyOfficial - American Football Is For Pussies
(Defecated News) Having deliberated over the last two years, IOC chiefs have rejected the USA's request to consider American 'Football' as a sport worthy of being in the Olympics. Sergio Buttokini, President of the IOC summarised the findings in...
Read full storyMeredith Baxter Confesses: "How Hanging Out With Ineffectual Men In '80's Television Turned Me Gay"
Los Angeles, California - Along Pacific Coast Highway No. 1, past the pier at Venice Beach, past the seaside condos of Santa Monica, nestled in the hills northwest of the city proper, sits Meredith Baxter, former television mom and now fully fledged...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden Spotted In A Karachi, Pakistan Record Store Buying Susan Boyle's CD
KARACHI, Pakistan - Osama Bin Laden the world's number one fugitive has been spotted in Karachi, Pakistan. Bin Laden was seen standing in line at Camel Connie's CD Shop in downtown Karachi. "The Bastard" as he is called by the Western civilized wo...
Read full storyStatistics
One day there was a guy who was driving down the road in his jeep on his way home from work and his car broke down. He looked down the road and saw a pink house and decided that he would see if he could stay there for the night. He walked up to the house and rang the pink door bell and a pink lady opened up the pink door. He asked her if he could spend the night and she said ok. So she lead...
Read full storyFat Kids Let Off Hook By Report
Fat kids all over the world were heaving a collective sigh of relief today when a report announced that childhood obesity was caused, not by eating endless amounts of crisps and Mars Bars, but by a genetic defect. A team of scientists have conclud...
Read full storyTiger Woods' Pancake Palace Piece
ORLANDO, Florida - Word out of "Tiger Land" is that the latest of a long line of long-legged, luscious, ladies is an employee of Patty Cakes Pancake Palace in Orlando. Mindy Lawton said that she first met Tiger when he and his wife went in one Sun...
Read full storyX-Factor Dumps Danyl Johnson
LONDON - In the biggest surprise of the X-Factor season, Danyl Johnson, the singer who many thought was going to be the shows eventual winner has been eliminated. When the announcement was made you could see that Danyl did not believe what he was...
Read full storyThe Jackson Family Opens The Michael Jackson Moonwalking Museum
LOS ANGELES - After five months of planning and building, Michael Jackson's family has finally opened the much-awaited Michael Jackson Moonwalking Museum. The 20,000 square foot two-story building is located adjacent to the world famous La Brea Ta...
Read full storyGoldman Sachs and J.P. Morgan Roll Out New Investment Opportunites
The ever trustworthy financial gurus at J.P. Morgan and Goldman Sachs are introducing a new investment vehicle for the working stiffs world wide. In this particular scheme you give them your money to "invest" and they take your money and secretly do...
Read full storyScience and Technology R&D
I was just riding my bicycle when I noticed some shopping carts abandoned in the street so I first used my rope and tied several together which were from the same store. Since some of the stores were far away I decided to take them like a herd of lost strays like a Wrangler to the local Recycle Center and corral them there. I don't wish to be the first to be hung as a Shopping Cart Rustler.
Read full storyGirls Aloud Announce U.S. Concert Tour
PIMLICO, England - Aloysius Schillingsboro, manager of the all-girl band Girls Aloud has just confirmed that the gorgeous quartet will be touring the United States on a 37 city concert tour beginning in March of 2010. The deal has just been finali...
Read full storyBritian to run off Poo by 2015!
In a shocking 4am announcement tonight the Green Party have unveiled a stunning agenda to fight the next general election. They have revealed a double hit on both global warming and the economy with the startling announcement that within three ye...
Read full storySusan Boyle Says That She Would Still Like To Meet Tiger Woods
PANAMA CITY, Florida - Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle in town to perform at a sold-out concert at Panama City's Orange Pulp Arena said that even after all of the gal hoopla that is going on she would still like to very much meet her golfing i...
Read full storyGeorge Michael Tells Elton John To Shut His Queen Mouth
CROOKEDWOOD, Ireland - George Michael had just finished performing at a sold-out concert at Crookedwood's Irish Spring Soap Stadium when he was asked to comment on what Sir Elton John had said about him. Michael replied that he had not heard what...
Read full storyPresident O'Bama Refuses to Sign Anti-Landmine Treaty
President and Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack O'Bama in a surprise move, refused to sign an international anti-landmine treaty. The treaty, if implemented would ban production, stockpiling and placement of landmines by all countries. The President w...
Read full storyLala website is sold to Apple, Lady Gaga to be at Apple Party
Apple is throwing a special Christmas party to celebrate buying the internet music site Lala.com. In honor of Lala, the party will have a very special theme. Repeating syllables will be the order of the day. Singer Lady Gaga and cellist Yo-Yo...
Read full storyTiger receives interesting proposal
NEW YORK CITY - One of the "Woodwork" girls, Rachel Uchitel has reportedly conveyed to Tiger Woods that if his wife Elin divorces him she would be willing to marry him. Uchitel, who use to manage Manhattan's Tit 4 Tat Topless Lounge, said that she...
Read full storyJungle King And Rat Killer Gino - Salt Of The Earth. Jordan Furious.
I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, King Of The Jungle, Italian chef Gino D'Acampo was slammed as a cheat today, allegedly, by uber breasted drink swiller Jordan. D'Acampo was accused of smuggling tea, coffee, sugar and salt into the jungle camp,...
Read full storyCaddie Gives "Full Support for Tiger Woods"
From his home in New Zealand, a caddie stated today that he "fully supports Tiger" while he wrestles with Elin Woods over his harem of blond shankster girls. The caddy, a major sidekick sportster dude from his million dollar a year job with Wood...
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