Tiger Pleads Insanity Defense in Blond Babes Sex Scandal

Funny story written by Richard DagNabbit

Monday, 7 December 2009

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Tiger Woods has made an initial plea in his sex scandal case. His representatives from the lesbian lawyers guild entered a plea of temporary insanity to all 6,941 known cases of marital infidelity to date. Stating "impossibility of performance" his reps refused to guess what the actual total number of affairs may arrive at, but did state that upwards of $ 500M was being reserved to buy out all of their story rights.

Sexopsychologists for the Tiger Camp disclosed that the problem Tiger has is not an actual character flaw, but rather a little known syndrome called "Bubbliscious Blond on Brain (BBB) Syndrome. Apparently this malady causes Tiger's brain and Big Stick to go into instant overdrive anytime he is within 50 yards of any and every young blond sexpot's pheromones. "It works even if he were to be blindfolded" stated one Doctor, so you can see his continuing predicament; "be instantly embarrassed or go for the pink and gold."

Tiger's wife who was also at the house of sexual pleas, stated that "all of Tiger's bimbos are going for the gold, but after I get mine, there will be a whole lot less gold to go for and absolutely no pink at home." Ms. Woods added "the only pink he should ever see would be Paula Creamer's head covers and that better be from more than 50 yards away."

Tiger was last seen entering a sex secure halfway house
escorted by a rather butch looking lesbian security detail.


Reporting from Las Vegas,


Dagnabbit Rabbit

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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