Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 7 December 2009


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image for Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear
Poker (Noun) in the rear of the building, (Verb) on the second floor

A new Las Vegas entertainment establishment, couples some of America's favorite pastimes with the addition of prostitution services. The combination of alcohol and playing cards, mixed with the offering of personal sexual services has proven to be a profitable combination.

"We meant for it to be a bit of a play on words, but we set up the club just as our name implies", says entrepreneur Biff Stickles. "If our customers want to hit the bar, they enter the front door. If they are here for one of our daily Poker tournaments, they come in the back door, in a manner of speaking."

That was not the end of Stickles' marketing ideas however. Shortly after proposing plans for the new building, Stickles modified the blue prints to include a second floor. "That is when we thought of adding prostitution services to the establishment. That way a customer could order either the front or back door options from a different sort of menu", Stickles says.

Customers appear to like the combination of services, as first quarter earnings for the club rose above $7.5 million dollars. Regular customer Tex "Bucky" Weinstein tells reporters, "You just gotta love a place that can take your money three different ways. More than that actually, once you peruse the upstairs price list."

Stickles is also lobbying the state of Nevada to legalize Marijuana, and that would feed into another club idea he is proposing. "I'd like to call it Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. Three floors of fun, where you can get blown away, in a different way, on each."

For now, customers seem to love the current layout of the "LFPR Club", as insiders call it. Bucky Weinstein commented further, "Where else can you get drunk of your ass at the bar, lose your ass at cards, and then get some ass to wrap up your night?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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