Tiger Woods' Pancake Palace Piece

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 7 December 2009

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Tiger Woods favorite waitress at Patty Cakes Pancake Palace in Orlando.

ORLANDO, Florida - Word out of "Tiger Land" is that the latest of a long line of long-legged, luscious, ladies is an employee of Patty Cakes Pancake Palace in Orlando.

Mindy Lawton said that she first met Tiger when he and his wife went in one Sunday morning for the Endless Pancakes and Syrup Special.

Lawton said that Tiger ended up eating nine pancakes and his wife Elin ate seven.

She said that the couple appeared to be quite happy. And then Elin got up to go to the bathroom. Mindy said that Tiger called her over and asked her if he looked happy. The question surprised her, but she answered that he looked very happy. "Great." Tiger remarked.

She then asked him if he wanted a fresh helping of coffee. He looked at her up and down, down and up, and up and down again and said that he would like a fresh helping of her.

Lawton said she was shocked. It was 8:30 in the morning so she knew he couldn't have been drunk. But she asked him if he was drunk or what.

He winked at her and said that yeah he was drunk with lust from looking at her in her skin-tight pink hot short shorts.

He noticed that Elin was returning from the bathroom and he quickly handed her his card. She took it and read it in the kitchen. The card simply said: Tiger Woods - The Greatest Golfer in The History of Golfing. "Have Putter Will Travel."

She noticed that the card had the cell phone number [CELL PHONE NUMBER DELETED BY EDITOR]. She was standing by the cash register. She decided to call the number to see if it was a real number. She called it and she saw him answer the phone.

She asked him about his putter. She could see his eyes getting bigger. She then noticed that his wife asked him who it was. He hung up saying that it was a wrong number.

She put her phone away and walked over to his table. She went up to him and said, excuse me but aren't you that famous guy...what's his name?..."Tiger Woods" He replied.

And she said no, the actor guy, ah yeah, you're Denzel Washington? His wife started laughing. Lady, she said, you just got your tip doubled.

She and Tiger then got up, paid and left. Elin was smiling from ear-to-ear and Tiger had gotten his conceited little bubble busted all to hell.

In other news. Kate Hudson has stated that she has just signed with the Polynesian Princess Brassiere Company to put out a line of a newly designed bra named the Kate Hudson Non-Bra Bra.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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