President and Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack O'Bama in a surprise move, refused to sign an international anti-landmine treaty. The treaty, if implemented would ban production, stockpiling and placement of landmines by all countries. The President was busy attending a death drone manufacturing conference in Israel and was unavailable for comment.
US Secretary of War Propaganda, Robert Gates, stated that "the use of landmines is essential to maintaining a bad ass image as they make all soldiers "watch their step" at all times. "Besides" he said, "after we leave they will still be in the ground and that will serve as a continual threat from the US to any remaining civilians - step out of line and get the Shock and Awe treatment as your limbs and private parts get blown off."
US Secretary of State Hillary "Nuke 'Em All" Clinton had a more specific response by indicating land mines would now be placed around the White House at all parties and international functions. "This will prevent any pesky US taxpayers from invading private functions like we had last month." "White House parties are reserved for the rich and famous such as Goldman Sachs and AIG executives and of course me."
In other related news, rumors are circulating that former Vice President Cheney and former War Secretary Rumsfeld have requested that landmines be provided for personal use in their front and back yards, but it is not known whether this request has been granted. Cheney in an earlier report said they need them to keep unsuspecting democrats off their properties. This, because the local law enforcement had confiscated their WW I mustard gas canisters they had been launching at liberals and dissenters from their kitchen windows.
Further Updates to Follow
Reporting for BNN News,